


Love At First Flight

by Jaansche



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Drama, F/F, Flight Attendant Clarke, Fluff, Intrigue, Pilot Lexa, Romance, maybe smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-06-08 21:05:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 70,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6873205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaansche/pseuds/Jaansche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa Woods is a pilot with a secret. Clarke Griffin is an experienced flight attendant who finds herself on board the same plane heading to Honolulu over the festive season. Both women, burnt by past relationships are instantly attracted to one another, but will their bad experiences deter them from pursuing happiness?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya!
> 
> I'm back with a new story. My girlfriend is back from vacation so thanks to her for proofing it. :)  
> Without further ado... Hope you'll enjoy.

**Love at first flight**

 

 

Clarke Griffin loved her job. She was great at it. Although it was born out of necessity to earn money, she had loved it from the moment she was able to leave the ground for the first time. The training hadn’t required much time. In fact, it had only taken a couple of weeks, which had made her happy and scared at the same time. However, she had learned quickly that a hands-on approach was the most effective learning method. In the beginning the job had meant to be an additional income, to be able to afford her real passion, creating art, but she had loved it so much, and had made friends for life, that Clarke had decided to stay and make a career out of it.

Obviously, every profession had its pros and cons. Her biggest pro and the main reason for accepting all the cons, had been the part where she could lock the door, sit back tight and let herself be carried away to new places, new destinations and new people. As much as Clarke Griffin comes across as a well settled, hardworking and career focused adult, at heart she was still a teenager, who didn’t want to be tied down at one place and hated the number one disadvantage of her profession - the unholy wake-up time when she had an early flight. She had never been a big fan of mornings. Clarke preferred to start the day at lunchtime and couldn’t understand that nights weren’t part of the day to be used more productively than being asleep. She groaned loudly into her little apartment, which was close enough to her workplace to reach it in a short amount of time, but far away to not be actively disturbed by the usual sound backdrop of it.

She frustratingly exhaled a whoosh of air and got up to face the chores of the day. She pitter-pattered into her kitchen and activated her coffee machine, which buzzed to life and blinked excitingly. “Well at least one thing in my life is happy to be awake.” Clarke mumbled under her breath, whilst fishing for her favourite mug. She placed a capsule into the device and the cup under the nozzle and pressed the button. The smell of fresh coffee immediately invaded her senses and a small smile grazed her features. Everything was better with coffee in her system. She showered quickly and put on her uniform before carefully applying her makeup for the day. The flight wasn’t too long, she sighed happily, but she would have to stay overnight at the destination, before they returned tomorrow night. Clarke finished her coffee, snatched her trolley and made the short way to the airport just in time, as she had to attend the cabin crew meeting in 20 minutes. She walked through the airport and was about to go through the security gate for employees when she heard her name being called out into the meagre populated hall.

“Clarke! Wait.” She turned around in surprise and cursed mentally when she saw who had stopped her. The woman quickly approached her with an apologetic smile on her face. “Clarke, you look breath taking as usual.” She whispered, as she kissed the blonde’s cheek as a hello.

“Niylah thanks. I’m in a hurry, what do you want?” She stepped back and looked at her annoyed and frustrated.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Niy.” Clarke brushed her off and turned to leave.

“Please. Give me one minute.” The slightly taller blonde begged her.

“What do you want?” Clarke repeated exhaustingly.

“I’m so sorry.” She started and moved them away from the security desk. “I didn’t mean to do it.”

“You didn’t mean to fuck her?” Clarke snorted angrily. “Your hand accidently slipped into her pussy and you couldn’t pull it out until she came all over it?” She growled sarcastically.

“I…“ The other woman cringed at the vulgarly descriptive words.

“Leave it. Really.”

“I love you. Baby, please give me another chance.” She tried to hold onto Clarke and pulled her into an embrace.

“Let go of me.” Clarke pushed against her. “You screwed up and in case you hadn’t gotten the memo, I don’t love you anymore.” Niylah’s face fell immediately upon hearing Clarke’s last words.

“That’s a lie and you know it.” She hissed angrily, tightly closing her fingers around one of Clarke’s arms.

“Would you mind taking your hands off of this woman?” A calm but eerily cool voice interrupted the slight wrangling. Both women turned to the source, one scowling in fury, whilst the other looked like she was seeing one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

*******

Lexa had been sat at the café vis-à-vis the airport entrance. She had been way too early for the mandatory meeting and had enjoyed the calm before her hectic workday would start. She’d sipped at her coffee, and had let her eyes wander through the terminal when a stunning blonde woman had walked past her on her way towards security. She’d had the most beautiful face Lexa had ever seen and the long tight coat had hugged her so perfectly it had seemed it had been sewn onto her body. She’d slowly swallowed the coffee to empty her mouth and had let her eyes follow her, when she’d witnessed her being held back by another woman, who had run up to her. Whilst finishing her drink, she had observed the interaction between them. It was clear to Lexa they were more than just acquainted. The body language screamed lovers; the scowl on the smaller blonde’s face however yelled ‘ex’. She had checked the time and had decided she needed to get going anyway, when she had slowly walked closer to the arguing couple. By the time she had been in earshot the taller blonde had had the other woman’s arm in a firm grasp. Lexa had debated whether to interfere or not, but upon hearing the clear distress in the shorter blonde she had made up her mind quickly.

*******

Clarke couldn’t do anything but stare at the striking vision in front of her. The woman had brown curly hair, smoky-eye makeup and the greenest of eyes she had ever seen. It would have been appropriate to stop ogling, but the blonde couldn’t help herself as her gaze wandered slowly over sensual lips and a chiselled jaw, both tight and tense in annoyance. The rest of her body was hidden under a tight black shirt; half covered by an equally black leather jacket and lose fitting combat pants tucked into biker boots. The woman stood regally, her legs slightly parted, her body weight shifted onto the left one and her arms folded in front of her chest. Clarke gulped visibly. By the time her eyes met the stranger’s, Clarke saw her pupils dilating and heard her breathing in deeply seconds later. Clarke fought the urge to moan at the sign of attraction and watched the woman turn her head back to Niylah, who still had her hands around her arms and started to shake her to regain her attention. “Clarke, I’m really, really sorry. Please.” The blonde turned back to her ex-girlfriend, and said in a very quiet, but all the more threatening voice. “Leave me alone.” She then wriggled out of the grip and stepped closer to the brunette, who had come to her rescue.

“I hope this event is unprecedented.” Lexa said, eyes flickering between the two women, one looking at her as if she wanted to punch her. “Mind your own business, will ya.” Niylah spat out and stepped closer to Clarke again. “Can we please talk, when you’re back?”

“No.” Clarke vehemently shook her head and stepped further back. “We’re done.”

Sensing the finality in the beautiful blonde’s voice, Lexa moved herself silently between them both and slowly articulated the next words in a low tone, the warning palpable in each syllable. “I suggest you respect her answer and leave. Now.”

They eyed each other for a several moments, before Niylah smiled as insincerely as possible and took a few steps back. “I’ll call you.” She looked at Clarke once more.

“Please don’t Niylah.” She sighed.

The taller blonde finally nodded accepting her defeat, for the moment, and Clarke turned to face the brunette, when she heard her speaking up again. “Merry Christmas in case I don’t see you.” Clarke looked over one last time and smiled a thin-lipped smile. “You too.”

Lexa’s gaze followed the woman until she saw her leave the building. She exhaled slowly and turned back to the blonde she had helped with a small smile.

“Thanks.” Clarke extended her arm towards her and smiled gratefully, when the brunette slowly took her fingers and enclosed them with her warm hand. “She cheated on me and is not accepting the end of our relationship.” She elucidated further, unsure as to why she felt the need to explain her situation.

“I really don’t need to know...” Lexa answered short-clipped, unsure of the intention of the woman’s words.

“Clarke.”

“Pardon?”

“My name is Clarke.”

“I really don’t need to know Clarke. It’s none of my-” She repeated her earlier sentence, but lost track of her thought, when expressively gorgeous blue eyes seemed to bore into her very soul. Lexa only returned to earth and cleared her throat awkwardly, when Clarke had closed her eyes for a second to get her heart rate back to a healthy pace.

“Business.” Lexa finally finished. She smiled shyly, still holding the blonde’s hand, unwittingly caressing the soft skin with her thumb. Clarke smiled, highly aware of the soft strokes on her wrist.

“Thanks, again. You’re kind of my knight in shining armour.” She then said softly, effectively pulling Lexa out of her reverie. She let go of her hand and nodded sharply. “Sure.”

They smiled once more at each other, when a loud whistle pierced the calm atmosphere of the early morning at the airport. Clarke turned annoyed at the sound and saw her two favourite colleagues, who had become her closest friends with their hands on their hips and amused grins on display. “You coming or what?”

She nodded and signalled wide eyed to leave her alone for another moment. They laughed but walked back into the meeting room.

“So.” Clarke started turning back, catching the brunette’s eyes flying back up from her lips to her eyes, expression guarded but not closed off. “I better get going. Thank you…” She drawled the ‘you’, hoping to get the brunette’s name, who eyed her suspiciously, but quietly offered “Lexa.” She breathed out, an unsettling tension taking hold of her.

“Lexa.” Clarke repeated, enjoying the feel of the name on her tongue. It felt familiar although she’d never known anyone with the name. It felt warm and homely. “Thank you, Lexa.” She repeated again.

“Of course Clarke.” Intense green eyes nervously scanned sparkling blue orbs.

They shared one last timid smile before Clarke turned and finally stepped up to the scanner to start her day.

*******

Clarke sat down next to Raven and Octavia, watching the woman in the front of the room stare at her. Madison Ortiz was their supervisor on the ground and responsible for the smooth organisation of the scheduled flights for the airline.

“Thank you Clarke for finally joining the meeting.” She said in a clipped voice.

“Sorry Madison. I ran into a problem.” Clarke shrugged and smiled apologetically.

“A ‘hot as hell’ kind of problem.” Raven added quietly, snickering with Octavia, when Clarke sent her best death glare at her two friends. “Shut up.” She hissed.

“Anyway.” Madison cast one last angry glance at the blonde, before she continued eying the rest of the crew. “This trip is our best seller. Just because it’s close to Christmas doesn’t change anything.” She explained in a stern voice. “I expect nothing but professionalism, is that clear?” Her gaze fell on the three women in the back, who were infamous for their humour and jokes with the passengers.

“Yes ma’am.” All three answered at the same time, biting back grins.

“I hope so.” She concluded and turned to the rest of the room. “One more thing before you can sort out your work. We have a new pilot working for us. Just transferred, but comes with excellent recommendations. Please take a moment to introduce yourself and try to be helpful.” She said with another pointed glance to the back of the room.

“Don’t worry Madison. We’re always helpful.” Clarke shrugged at their supervisor.

“Yeah Madison, we’ll be absolutely professional.”

“Raven is right.” Octavia added as well. “All will be good.”

“I know you. You’re known for the entertainment. You’re loved for your jokes. We get this feedback from everyone. It’s great feedback. We just really need to make a good impression on the pilot. I trust you’ll behave.”

*******

“Geez, this Captain must come with a million to invest or pants of pure gold.” Clarke complained once Madison had left.

“You never know. What did I read recently? All airlines are only three days away from bankruptcy. Plus there’s the new CEO no one seems to have a clue about. Guess it’s time for extra charm to keep our jobs?” Raven mused, whilst everyone remaining in the meeting room shuffled closer to organise their work stations.

“Echo? Monty?” Clarke turned towards another woman and a man, who had been quiet and observing. “Your preferred positions?” 

“Can we both take the rear?” Monty asked whilst Echo nodded.

“If O and Ray are happy to be up front?” Clarke turned to her friends who shrugged their approval.

“Settled then.” Clarke smiled. All four flight attendants nodded to their head of cabin.

The standard rule was 50 passengers per flight attendant. Monty and Echo would do the 100 from the rear end, whilst Octavia and Raven were responsible for the 100 from the front.

Clarke would serve first and business class and help out whenever needed, as well as taking care of the ‘oh so precious’ pilots. She hated those old slimy douchebags, who oozed too much confidence, just because they knew how to press buttons and talk into a walkie-talkie in a made-up language. ‘I learned to do that by the time I was four’, Clarke thought frustratingly. Of course, she was aware, there was so much more to the profession, but she simply couldn’t stand being reduced to a dumb blonde juice pusher in their eyes. She had responsibility too. She was accountable for anything happening in the cabin. Everyone trusted her to do the right thing in case of an emergency. ‘If I screw up and the masses panic the airplane crashes’, she thought to herself, but focused back on the task at hand.

“Are we ready?” She asked locking her blue eyes with everyone’s who nodded at her. “Let’s do this then.” She smoothed the imaginary wrinkles out of her matching pencil skirt and dress jacket and grabbed her trolley bag, with her coat draped over her arm. “After you ladies and gent.” She winked and held the door open for her team to walk past her. She loved this short moment of strolling down the aisle of an airport to the gate. The click clack of their high heels requesting the attention of everyone seated left and right at cafés or gates. They paraded down the tiled floor of the terminal in sync, lined up with confidence in their postures and laughter on their lips. They reached the gate and exchanged a few words with the ladies processing the groundwork, before stepping through the final glass door and walking down the gangway to the airplane. Upon entering the blonde turned to the cockpit to greet the pilots, who were already busy at check-up. She knocked at the open door to announce her presence and opened her mouth to introduce herself and the team, when familiar green eyes glanced over her shoulder at her.

“Lexa?”

*******

Lexa loved her job. It had been difficult to convince her family that she’d not wanted to be an active part of the business, sitting in boardrooms making decisions. After numerous discussions they had finally accepted her choice to fly the planes, rather than deciding where to fly them to. Due to her lack of personal involvement at the top, Lexa had stayed out of the public eye and had enjoyed a normal lifestyle, working for several different airline companies over her short career.

However, everything had changed when her parents had passed away half a year ago, and Lexa, being the only heir to the Woods Empire, had had to finally accept the reins. Her parents had had a well picked team of highly trained people, and after their sudden accident, Lexa had been reluctant to get involved at first. The company had functioned well without her, but Titus Balder, her dad’s closest adviser had convinced her of her responsibility towards her parent’s legacy. She had had no choice but to drop what she loved and step up to ensure the well-being of the company, but with some of her own conditions thrown in. After long conversations with many different board members and advisers she had convinced each of them of the necessity to get to know the people who worked for her. Lexa had found it immensely important to investigate how the airline really worked and to identify how she could improve procedures, utilising her experience of working with their competitors. However, the only way to do so, without having to deal with people crawling up her ass, would be for her to go in undercover. She had faked the documentation and had sent herself over as the new pilot and it had worked fine in the last two airports. She was keen to make it work here as well. The only difference this time to any other airport her airline operated from, was this was her hometown, and she knew one the pilots rather closely and worried this would compromise her mission. She had called beforehand and had explained the situation. Her friend had sworn secrecy and Lexa prayed it would be enough.

She had changed into her uniform, shortly after helping the blonde woman in distress, and had made her way over to the airplane before the cabin crew was due to arrive. She had just finished her outside round and had re-entered the plane, when she’d felt two hands on her shoulders, coming out of nowhere.

“Fuck!” She exhaled and eyed the person angrily. “You could have killed me.”

“Could have, but haven’t.” A big grin on her face. “So, what brings you to my neck of the god damn woods, Woods?” Anya asked.

“Ssssh. I told you not to use my real name.”  
“Geez, what are you going by these days then?”

“I took my mum’s maiden name, Hayes.”

“Alright. Captain Hayes. Welcome on board.”

They started their check-up, when the sound of heels against linoleum announced the arrival of the cabin crew, which was seconds later confirmed with loud chatter and a knock against the cabin door. Lexa had looked up and over her shoulder to greet the head of cabin, when her eyes fell onto a set of very familiar deep-blue eyes.

“Clarke?”

*******

Clarke scrunched up her nose in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same.” Lexa furrowed her brow and stood up; eyeing the uniform she hadn’t been able to see before due to the coat. “Are you a flight attendant?”

Clarke took in the changed outfit of the woman, who now stood in front of her and nodded. “Head of cabin, yes. And you must be the new pilot?”

Lexa lifted her arm in an awkward greeting and quickly placed it nervously on the back of her neck. “Yeah. Looks like it.” This was not supposed to happen, and Lexa scolded herself for playing hero earlier.

“Wow, ok. Well, welcome on board then.” Clarke smiled, still stunned by the revelation and slightly confused why they had been asked to impress Lexa. “Um, I’ve come to introduce the rest of the team. I’m with Monty and Echo in the rear and Octavia and Raven in the front.” Lexa nodded and gestured to her right.

“Clarke, this is Anya Rivers. Anya, this is Clarke…” She realised she had no idea of the blonde’s surname and quickly looked back at her.

“Hi Anya. Nice to see you again. Had a good vacation?” Clarke smiled in amusement.

“You know each other?” Lexa asked confused, but realised her mistake, laughing out in embarrassment. “Of course you would. I’m the new one.” ‘Get a grip. You’re the pilot not the CEO.’ Lexa berated herself mentally.

“Yeah **Captain**.” Anya picked up on the weird behaviour and enunciated the work title, indicating for Lexa to chill. “We had the pleasure of flying together a couple of times.” She explained further, an amused half grin on her face.

“But thanks for introducing us.” Clarke charmed. “Um Captain…”

“Hayes. My name is Lexa Hayes.” Lexa offered finally, slipping back into the undercover role.

“Ok. Nice to see you again.” Clarke smiled one of her most charming smiles and Lexa’s armour cracked a little.

“Right. Anyway, you guys are getting ready?” The pilot tried to change the subject.

“Yes, I’ll let you know, when we’ve finished preparations.” Clarke stated and left the cockpit and closed the door to start her routine control of the front galley, whilst her colleagues took over their tasks in the rest of the airplane.

“What was that about Lexa?” Anya inquired puzzled. “Where did you meet Clarke?”

“It’s nothing really. I witnessed a scene between her and her ex and interfered before it got ugly.”

“Niylah was here?”

“You know her?” Lexa really wanted to stay out of the drama. She couldn’t afford to be dragged into it. She needed to stay aloof to do the job she had come for.

“Well, Niylah Spencer used to work for the airline, but was dismissed for highly inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour.” Anya offered vaguely.

“What happened?”

“Uuugh, she was found ‘pleasing’ a passenger in one of the toilets.” She explained politely. Lexa and Anya’s had started when they had been partnered at their very first job; flying for a regional airline. Both had acquired their flight licences and needed hours in order to be allowed to work for a major airline. Anya had learned of Lexa’s background after they had spent months together in the cockpit, alternating flying as pilot in commend and co-pilot. They had spent a lot of downtime together, and eventually the brunette had offered up the information, but had never regretted it, as Anya had been her best friend and had proven her capability to keep secrets.

After both had been appointed to commercial pilots by the Federal Aviation Administration, Lexa had secured her work for her parent’s airline.

Before their death, Anya had seen Lexa as regularly as they could, but she had always been aware of her background and the responsibility coming along with Lexa’s future.

“How come you know? Had it been broadcasted?” Lexa asked, pertaining to Niylah’s dismissal.

“No no.” She quickly assured. “I had the pleasure of finding her.”

“How did Clarke…?” Lexa didn’t finish the sentence. The blonde was still on her mind, although she really wanted her not to be. She couldn’t afford the distraction. Not now, when she needed to learn as quickly as possible, everything about her parent’s business. Not ever, because she couldn’t afford love, not after last time.

“I don’t know, but she did find out and the rest is history. Well I thought at least. How ugly are we speaking?”

“She got ‘handsy’, in an aggressive way.”

“I see. Well, good you’d been around then.” She sighed and added in a light voice. “Since when do you pay attention to your surroundings?”

“I happened to walk by. I really hope I don’t regret helping her.” Lexa mused.

“Clarke is really a good woman who never should have gone through something like that.”

“Guess so. Anyway, let’s get back to work.” Lexa deflected and fiddled with the radio to listen to the ATIS, ignoring Anya’s pointed look.

“Fine. Ok.” She said but quietened, so both could listen to the latest weather information.

 

Half an hour later, Clarke had just finished stacking the prepared food for the business and first class in the allocated trolley, when she heard Lexa clearing her throat, her hand flat against the nearly closed cockpit door. She had stripped herself of the form-fitting uniform jacket and wore the mandatory white button down shirt tucked into her suit pants, with her sleeves rolled up over her elbows. Clarke let her gaze wander quickly over the enticing body, whilst straightening up and facing her.

“Captain.” She acknowledged, in her typical raspy voice. “What can I do for you?” She asked politely with a friendly smile on her face. Her first impression might not have been the best, but she was eager to make her second appearance as business-like as possible, having her supervisor’s words in her ear.

“We’ve been informed of birds near the airport. We will have a 15-minute delay.” Lexa explained in her smooth, velvety voice, keeping her posture stern and gaze professional. ‘I’ve done this before. I can do it again. Just because Clarke is exceptionally beautiful, it won’t change anything. I have to stay ahead of everything to fulfil my mission’, Lexa pep-talked mentally.

“Ok. I’ll inform the passengers as soon as they arrive.” Clarke tried to sound as least affected as possible by Lexa, but the uniform, in combination with the enticing green eyes made it difficult for her not to swoon over the new pilot. However, after being involuntarily involved in a work scandal, she made sure to stick to the rules as tightly as possible. It would have been nicer, if Lexa wasn’t the new pilot. She had never thought she would see her again, but here she was. Maybe it was fate telling her to start over?

“Thanks and I hope the passengers aren’t too frustrated.” Lexa offered a genuine smile; before she pushed the half closed door open, stepped through and let it fall back in its lock. “Damn.” Clarke whispered to herself and shook her head to clear her mind, when the intercom next to her beeped. She intuitively picked up the receiver, with her eyes still fixed on the closed door. “Front cabin. Clarke speaking.”

“Stop salivating over the Captain and get your horny ass in the rear, we’ve got a problem.”

Clarke stepped into the aisle and eyed the brunette in the back of the airplane. “I am not drooling Ray!” She groaned into the mouthpiece.

“Whatever you say, Griffin.” She grinned and gestured for her to come to them. Clarke hung up and quickly made her way down the aisle.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, ignoring the grins.

“The safety movie doesn’t work.” Octavia informed her.

“What do you mean?”

“It just won’t play.”

“Can’t you fix it?” Clarke had turned to Raven.

“No. The passengers will be here any minute.” The brunette shook her head.

Clarke sighed. “Ok, old-fashioned then. Who wants to do it?”

“Will you do the talking?” Octavia asked excitedly.

“Yeah. Can do, if no one else wants to do it.” Clarke nodded.

“Awesome. That’ll be fun. I’m in!” Raven clapped her hands.

Clarke walked back to the front, checking the status of the passenger seats on her way up, when the intercom signalled again. Clarke looked at Raven, who was in the middle of the plane, who looked questioningly at Monty in the back.  
“Not me.” He mouthed to Raven who gestured the answer to Clarke, who picked up the receiver quickly. “Front cabin. Clarke speaking.”

“Cockpit here.” The warm voice snuggled into her ears, heating her up from the inside and Clarke gulped visibly, fighting the groan threatening to come up her throat. Seeing Lexa and was one thing, but just hearing her voice was something else altogether.

“What can I do for you this time Captain?” Clarke asked smiling, fighting the suggestive tone in her voice. ‘Stay professional’, she chanted silently.

Lexa hesitated upon hearing the deep sensual voice and tried to suppress the shiver running down her spine. “Can you bring us two coffees?” She finally managed.

Clarke laughed happily and asked. “And how would you two like your coffee?”

“Black and bitter. Just like my soul.” Anya’s voice came through the phone.

“Um, excuse her.” Lexa replied. “But she’s right. Just black coffee for me also.”

“Ok. Gimme me a few minutes.” Clarke hung up and switched on the coffee machine. Some moments later she knocked at the cockpit door and smiled when she heard the hum of the camera above her head moving. She held up the coffees to indicate her presence and the door opened a second later.

“There you go ladies.” She held out the tray and let both women lift the cups off of it before stepping back.

“Thank you Clarke. We just finished and got clearance for boarding. You guys set?” Anya asked with a genuine smile, whilst Lexa focused on blowing onto her coffee to cool it down.

“We are, but the safety video doesn’t work. We’ll do it the traditional way.” Upon seeing the frowns on the pilot’s faces, Clarke added. “Nothing to worry about. It’s probably just the DVD. Scratches or something. Everything else works efficiently.”

Anya and Lexa exchanged a glance and nodded, before Lexa stood up, gesturing to Clarke to leave the cockpit. “I’m going to check it out.” She informed her and followed her out, closing the door after herself.

They made their way into the back to the entertainment unit and Clarke showed her the disc, which had seen better days for sure. Upon inspecting the equipment and cables, Lexa sighed and looked closely at the DVD. “Can we arrange for a new one?” She asked.

“Um, no. We don’t have any at the airport.”

“None?” Lexa asked surprised.

“They were taken away, when a few went missing. We were accused of stealing them.” Clarke explained calmly, although she was still furious about the accusations.

“Ridiculous.” Lexa muttered. “Who would steal safety information?” She asked puzzled, trying to jog her brain to remember if she knew about it or not.

Clarke only shrugged. “It’s no biggie, really. We receive annual training for safety instructions to secure the knowledge.”

“I know you do.” Lexa said and stopped in her motion. “I mean I assume you do as flight attendants.” She corrected quickly, upon seeing Clarke’s questioning face.

“Yeah, part of the airline policy is the hands on training. A little old-fashioned, but I believe in its efficiency in case of an emergency.” Lexa looked at her and opened her mouth, but closed it with the words dying on her tongue. Clarke came across as a highly trained and experienced flight attendant. She didn’t need to stress the importance of safety. Besides, in order for her to get as much information as possible from everyone, her real self needed to stay hidden as long as possible.

She stepped back into the aisle and made her way back to the cockpit. “Thanks for the coffee.” She finally said, before closing the cockpit once more. Clarke kept rooted in her spot, forehead deeply furrowed. What was that about? She had noticed Lexa had wanted to say something, but had stopped herself. Clarke was getting more and more confused about the new pilot, but she couldn’t ponder it any further, as the few first and business class passengers had started to walk onto the plane.

*******

The cabin team was in full working mode, Raven and Clarke in the front greeting people, Octavia, Monty and Echo spread throughout the cabin to help with the luggage. Whilst the passengers slowly made their way into the airplane, Clarke picked up the receiver and addressed the cabin.

“Good morning, Ladies and gentlemen.” She paused for a second, rolling her eyes at the disinterest of everyone. That was the part she disliked the most, but she had her own way of dealing with it. “If you haven’t already lost it, please stow your carry-on monstrosities, you thought would fit in our cabin, underneath the seat in front of you or in an overhead bin. If you are seated in a row with the prospect of fresh air, please read the special instructions card located in front of you and if you do not feel the desire for windswept hair in the event of an emergency, please ask one of my colleagues to reseat you.

As soon as you have found your seat, in case you worry, the numbers are increasing from the front to the back starting with number one, please make room for all the other poor souls having to be here at this awful time of day, sit down and fasten your seat belt. We also remind you that this is a non-smoking flight. Smoking is not only disgusting and unhealthy; it is also prohibited on the entire aircraft, including the lavatories. In case you feel overwhelmed by your freedom, tampering with, disabling or destroying the lavatory smoke detectors is prohibited by law and will be punished with an overnight stay in a 6 by 8-foot room with steel or brick walls. If you have any further questions, don’t hesitate to ask me or any of my colleagues. Questions unrelated to the flight will be punished with losing the right to order tomato juice. Thank you.”

Clarke put the receiver back into its holder on the wall and smiled friendly. A few passengers grinned at her and she instantly felt better. Maybe they weren’t all grumpy fuckers after all.

*******

When the last travellers had entered, Clarke received the copy of the passenger list. She stored it in the safe and closed the doors, before picking up the phone again.

“Boarding completed.” She said and waited for the affirmation of comprehension and switched once more to address the passengers.

“Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Clarke and I’m your head of cabin. With me today to provide you with a unique flight experience are Octavia and Raven in the front and Monty and Echo in the rear. On behalf of Captains Hayes and Rivers and the entire crew, welcome aboard Grounder Airline’s flight 307, non-stop service from Los Angeles to Honolulu, Hawaii. Our flight time will be roughly 6 hours.” She stopped and waited for the last passengers to sit down, whilst Octavia closed the door. “The Captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign, which means you need to shackle yourself to the easy chair beneath you.” This time she received laughter as people started listening. “Make sure your seat and tray are in their full upright position, in case you don’t know what that means, it’s the most uncomfortable position to be in. Furthermore, this is the time to say goodbye. Your portable electronic devices must be switched off or set to airplane mode until I allow you to switch it back on.” Clarke paused. “If you’ve behaved well enough, that is.” She laughed along with the passengers and finished. “One more thing, we’re very sorry for the delay, but poultry were sighted close to the airport and for your and our safety we had to wait for Bob to shoo them fluffy birdies away. Thank you for your attention.” The murmur of the passengers increased once Clarke had put the receiver down, and everyone tried to get ready for take-off. The four other flight attendants moved through the cabin to make sure, everyone had followed the instructions Clarke had just explained.

The aircraft was about to be pushed back, when Lexa’s voice came through the speaker.

“Cabin Crew, doors on automatic, cross-check and report. Thank you.” Clarke checked the door in the front, after Octavia had approved the status and quickly searched eye contact with Monty in the back. Upon seeing the ok signal, she contacted the cockpit.

“Doors on automatic, cross-checked, hereby reporting.” She said and waited.

“Thanks Clarke. Pushback in 10 minutes.” She waited for Clarke to confirm and disconnected the cabin. She looked over to Anya who looked at her worryingly. “Ok, you got one chance. Speak now or never.”

“Why are you doing this?” Anya shrugged.

“What do you mean?”

“Closing yourself off so completely.”

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“Clarke for example. You had a good start with her I guess and now you’re back peddling because you feel like you’re about to lose control.”

“If you consider me stepping between domestic quarrels as a good start, I think we hit off spectacularly well.” Lexa replied sarcastically, checking the instruments in front of her, switching on what was needed.

“I’m not telling you to hit on her.”

“Anya, does this conversation have a reason?” She was getting annoyed by her. She didn’t need anyone telling her how to behave. She treated all her employees the same, and if she was distanced, so be it. She couldn’t let herself be human; she had to stem a multimillion dollar business without much knowledge of how it worked. She had no time for being human.

“I’m just saying not everyone is like Costia and you could use some more friends.”

“This has nothing to do with Costia.” Lexa growled.

“Maybe not, but please do yourself a favour and loosen up a little. Live a little. This team…” Anya pointed over her shoulder to the back of the plane, “is fabulous. You should listen to Clarke’s announcements. You wanted to know, how your company functions. Well this is LA base entertainment.” Anya eloquently steered the conversation away from Lexa’s past and exchanged one more look with her friend.

“You’re absolutely right.” She agreed and opened the speaker to the cabin, whilst adjusting their headsets and confirming the routine with the ground and departure control.

In the meantime, the cabin crew had prepared for security instructions, with Raven close to the front and Octavia taking over the spot in the middle of the airplane. After making sure everyone was ready, Clarke again addressed the cabin.

“Good morning again everyone. If we could have your attention for just a few moments before you hit the snooze button and fall back to sleep. My sister from another mister and the devil in disguise are going to show you the safety instructions.” Clarke stopped to give Octavia and Raven her dazzling smile before she continued. “The seat belt is opened and closed as shown. Position your seatbelt low across your hips, like boys wear their pants nowadays. As blood is so difficult to get out of clothes, we suggest that you keep it fastened throughout the flight, as we may experience turbulence.” Clarke stopped to let the laughter die down again. “When the seat belt sign magically illuminates above your head, it isn’t Harry Potter but the captain, and you must secure yourself immediately.” She smiled and continued after a second. “There are several emergency exits on this aircraft, 2 in the front, 2 in the rear and 1 over each wing.” She waited for her friends to finish pointing them out. “We suggest you take a moment to locate your nearest exit, as in some cases it may be behind you. If we need to evacuate the aircraft, fairy lights will guide you towards the exit or the North Pole as this could very well be the Polar Express.” The laughter got louder and Raven grinned over her shoulder whilst pointing to the floor lighting. “Only if you believe.” Octavia quipped and laughed along. “Ah, to believe or not to believe that is the question. Anyway…” Clarke resumed in a more serious voice. “Everyone knows Santa has a list of naughty boys and girls and I’ve been meaning to get my hands on it for years. Let’s hope this is the Polar Express, shall we?” The plane burst out laughing and the two pilots in the front exchanged a smile as well. At least Clarke had managed to engage the passengers in the safety instructions; Lexa thought and let herself revel in her admiration for the blonde for a few seconds. “No one will forget these.” She said approvingly.

“We’re famous for her announcements. All over social media.” Her friend confirmed. Lexa nodded, she had heard of them, but never gotten around to actually watch one the movies circling the net. What a coincidence that she’d stumbled upon the source of the hype. She shrugged and confirmed the pushback to the tower.

***

 “On a more serious note, oxygen and the air pressure are always being monitored. In the unlikely event of decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically fall out of the ceiling above you.  To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you. Place it firmly over your nose and mouth, secure the elastic band behind your head, and breathe normally. If you’re not flying alone, this is the moment to think about how much your companion means to you. If you are travelling with more than one child, decide which one has more potential and will support your extravagant lifestyle once you’re old and wrinkly, as you are asked to secure your mask on first, and then assist other’s including your kids.” Clarke waited again for a little more silence before she proceeded. “Keep your mask on until a uniformed crew member advises you to remove it.” She explained and quickly proceeded. “Furthermore, in the event of an emergency, please assume the brace position as shown so elegantly by my lovely colleagues. You may find that position useful whenever stopped by the police for speeding. It’ll highlight your innocence.” Clarke winked. “Next point in our safety demonstration, fashion tips. Life vests are located under your seat. When instructed to do so, open the plastic pouch and remove the vest. Don’t worry; we can assure you that the colour will most likely not fit any of your clothes. Slip it over your head anyway. Pass the straps around your waist like a good old fanny pack and adjust at the front. Do not tighten too much. Even in the case of an emergency, no one wants to see lots of Michelin Men.”

The airplane had been pushed back and was currently moving at a slow pace towards the runway.

“To inflate the vest, pull firmly on the red cord, only when leaving the aircraft. Do not inflate inside the aircraft. Besides being dangerous, it makes you look stupid and who wants that?” Raven and Octavia shook their heads to emphasize Clarke’s words as if they had been trained to respond accordingly.

“Indeed. No one. So, if you need to further inflate the vest, blow into the mouthpiece. Use the whistle and light to attract attention as long as you can, until you’re rescued or the sharks get to you.” Clarke had lowered her voice significantly for dramatic effect and continued with a happier voice. “Whichever happens first, right?”

“Last but not least, you will find everything I’ve just explained and all the other safety information in the card located in the seat pocket in front of you.” Raven and Octavia pointed to cards. “We strongly suggest you read it before take-off. So hurry up and read it now as we’re mere minutes away from it. Thank you for your attention and we wish you all an enjoyable flight.” Clarke smiled, hung up and helped Raven clear away the utensils, while the cabin erupted in applause, just before the intercom crackled alive and Lexa’s soft voice filled the plane once more.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome on board Grounder Airlines Flight 307. My name is Lexa Hayes and together with my colleague Anya Rivers and the cabin crew, we are looking forward to fly you safely and soundly from Los Angeles to Honolulu. We are currently third in line for take-off and are expected to be in the air in approximately seven minutes time. We too hope you enjoy your flight.”

A few minutes passed while Clarke and the rest secured last items and made their way over to their seats, when Anya spoke up. “Cabin crew, take-off in 2 minutes.”  
Raven and Octavia were sat on one side and Clarke facing them with her back to the cockpit.

“So? What’s going on with you and the ‘hot pilot’?” Raven asked letting her eyebrows suggestively dance up and down her forehead.

“There’s nothing Ray. I just met her this morning, when she saved me from another fight with Niylah.”

The plane finally arrived on the runway and after a short stop; it rolled into action and accelerated to leave the ground.

“She clearly had an impact on you. And what the fuck did Niylah want from you?”

Clarke rolled her eyes before replying. “Urgh, always the same… time to talk.”

“And?”

The plane lifted off the concrete strip and proceeding to reach its travel height.

“I told her to leave me alone. It needed Lexa to interfere for her to finally leave.” Clarke rolled her eyes upon seeing the dirty grins of her two friends after she’d mentioned the brunette’s name again. She continued, ignoring them. “I hope Niy understands now. I mean, excuse me for not being interested in a lying, cheating bitch, who nearly destroyed my career as well.” Clarke added angrily.

“I get it.” Octavia agreed. “She had her second chance. Enough is enough, right?”

“Exactly! Besides…” Raven smiled devilishly and pointed towards the closed cockpit door. “Looks like you might just have found someone way more interesting.” She grinned at Clarke and held her hand up for the blonde to high five her. “You go girl.”

Clarke accepted the hand gesture and answered carefully. “I don’t really think she’s up for that. I mean we had a moment back in the airport, but when I saw her again, it kind of changed. Besides, she’s a…”

“Colleague and you don’t date them anymore.” Raven ended the sentence with a bored voice. “No one is talking about dating. Why don’t you stop existing and start living again?”

“Why don’t you butt out and leave me alone?”

After that, Raven decided it was wise to change the subject. She wanted Clarke to be happy, but maybe she was right not to get involved with someone she worked with. They talked business and waited for their signal, which came a few minutes later when Lexa announced, ‘Cabin crew released.’

They started their inflight work process smoothly and confidently. Everyone knew what to do and the length of the flight allowed for a more relaxed approach to serving drinks, food and snacks. Clarke had an easy job coordinating the work and luckily the passengers in the first and business class seemed to have enjoyed her performance enough to not bug her too much with extra wishes.

*******

The flight went on smoothly and the passengers were surprisingly undemanding. It must be because it was close to Christmas, Clarke mused, whilst cleaning the galley. Raven and Octavia had started to tidy the cabin as Echo and Monty prepared the duty free sale.

She was checking her time to calculate how much longer the flight would last, when the speakers crackled and Lexa’s voice filled the cabin once more.

“Good day again, your Captain speaking. We are currently cruising at an altitude of 33,000 feet at airspeed of 400 miles per hour. The weather looks good and with the tailwind on our side we are expecting to land in Honolulu on time. The weather there is partly cloudy, with a high of 27° Celsius, around 80° Fahrenheit for this afternoon with rising humidity. You’re lucky, although Honolulu has a tropical savanna climate, the winters are usually dry. If the weather cooperates we should get a great view of the main islands of Hawaii, which is also called the Aloha State. Aloha can mean 'hello', 'welcome', 'love', 'best wishes' or even 'goodbye'. A very universal word, and surely one to keep in mind throughout your visit. I hope you enjoyed your time on board Grounder Airlines and we hope to see you again. In the Hawaiian spirit, aloha.” Lexa cut her microphone off and reclined in her seat.

 “So, do you have plans for tonight?” Anya leaned back as well, leaving the work to the auto pilot.

“No idea.”

“If you want you can join us hanging out? The cabin team and I usually go out, have dinner and relax. Honolulu is quiet awesome. I’ve always wanted to stay longer.” She sighed.

“I don’t know. I think it gets too complicated to keep up my cover if I spend too much down time with employees.”

“That’s all we are for you now? Employees?” Anya scolded her.

“No. You are human beings to me. Human beings who depend solemnly on my skills to keep them employed with a decent salary.”

“Not everything is on your shoulders. Share the burden! You’ve got a great team, who have been working for your parents as well.”

“I know I do, but my parents owned the company. I only inherited it, and everyone knows I’m neither suited for the job nor trained. I have to work doubly hard not to fail.”

“I get that Lex, I really do, but you can’t stop living just to disprove your doubters.”

Lexa looked over to Anya and clenched her jaw violently before pressing out silently, “I can and I will.”

“Ok. Whatever.” Anya was willing to let her be, but added one last thought. “But if you really want to learn how a great team manages the up and downs this job brings along, you should consider coming out with us tonight.”

*******

“Ladies and gentlemen. The captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign as we’ve started our approach to Honolulu International Airport. Please make sure your seat and tray tables are in their full upright position. Also make sure your seat belt is securely fastened if you’ve dared to take it off and all luggage as well as your purchases on board, thanks for financing our evening,” she added cheekily, “are stored underneath the seat in front of you or in the overhead bins. Thank you.” Clarke finished her announcement and bounced excitingly over to help her two friends clean away the trash.

“So? What are we doing tonight?” Clarke asked Raven, whilst checking the locks of the trolleys.

“The usual?”

“Tonight?” Octavia asked coming out of the toilet. “We could hang out at that club at the waterfront again. What was the name?” Octavia faked confusion.

“As if you don’t know O. Didn’t you hook up with that barkeeper the last time?” Raven suggestively lifted an eyebrow at her.

“I don’t kiss and tell.” Octavia pushed past her and grabbed the trash bag. “Besides, you got your own pilot lined up. You’ve got no right to talk.”

“Speaking of, we should ask Lexa if she wants to come too.” Raven turned to Clarke.

“Maybe Anya has asked her already?”

“Even if, I’m sure if you ask, she’ll definitely come.”

“Why are you so persistent? Have I missed something? Last time I checked, she was a very guarded and very new colleague of us.”

“Not again with the colleague shit. Look, Anya and I are having fun and no one gets hurt. Try that sometime?”

“I’m not you and certainly not her. I don’t want to play around.” Clarke looked at her friend only for a short moment before averting her gaze quickly.

Raven watched her for a moment before stating surprised. “You like her, don’t you?”

Clarke quickly glanced around to make sure no one was listening in on their conversation, before defending herself in a low whisper. “I didn’t mean to like her.”

Octavia stepped closer and supported Raven’s observation. “But you do nevertheless. I knew it by the way you looked at her.”

Clarke sighed loudly and scolded herself for having been too obvious. She needed to get anything Lexa and her related out of her friend’s heads. She pulled the work card as she knew she would not be able to make them stop pestering her. “Listen sweethearts, the cabin needs to be cleaned and my private life should not be a discussion for all passengers.” She discreetly pointed to an elderly woman who was looking at the trio.

“We didn’t mean to -”

“I know O. I know you mean well, but please stay out of this. There’s nothing going on and there won’t be.” Clarke emphasized once more. To say she wasn’t disappointing herself with her words was an understatement. She’d really liked Lexa the second she’d laid her eyes on her and she could have sworn she saw clear signs of attraction in the brunette’s features, but since entering the plane, the spark she had thought to be between them had been extinguished. “It’s for the best.” She mumbled under her breath, as she finished her work.

Twenty minutes later, and the cabin was prepared for landing just in time to hear Lexa’s final announcement. “Cabin crew; please take your seats for landing.” 

*******

“If you don’t want to come with us, how do you plan on spending your night? Have you been to Honolulu before?” Anya asked, muting the microphone.

“Nope, I haven’t had the pleasure yet.” Lexa answered quietly, focusing on the landing process.

 ** _Grounder 307, turn right heading zero six zero, descend and maintain five thousand, slow to two two zero knots._** Honolulu airport had started the landing procedure and given directions for their approach, which Lexa confirmed. “Right to 060, down to 5,000, slowing to 220 knots, Grounder 307.”

“Well, you could go downtown and have a look around?” Anya tapped her screens and switches to fulfil her part of the process.

“Or I could just stay in my room and take care of my company.” Lexa answered, looking over to her friend.

“God woman.” Anya shook her head.

**_Grounder 307, intercept the localizer runway two six right, cleared ILS two six right._ **

“Cleared ILS two six right, Grounder 307.” Lexa replied to the tower.

“I really think a night out would do you good. You can be all business-like tomorrow.”

“I don’t know.” Lexa said and bit her lip slightly. Truth was she’d love to spend time with Clarke out of work, but she shouldn’t and this knowledge made her sigh.

**_Grounder 307, cleared to land two six right._ **

Anya looked up and studied Lexa’s face before replying. “Cleared to land two six right, Grounder 307.” When she heard the sigh, the co-pilot muted the channel to the Honolulu airport and asked incredulously. “Wait, are you avoiding coming out with us because of a certain blonde head of cabin?”

“What?” Lexa asked in a high-pitched voice, feeling caught.

“Oh my god! You like her?”

“I do not.” Upon Anya’s raised eyebrows and clear expression of ‘I don’t believe you’, she continued. “I agree she seems to be a lovely person, who is incredibly great at her job may I add, and I’ll make sure to increase her salary to show my appreciation, but that’s it.” Lexa pressed a few buttons, adjusting the height.

“Uh-huh.” Anya grinned unconvinced. “That’s not all. What exactly happened this morning?”

“I told you already.”

“Yeah, and now I want to know what happened in there.” She pointed to Lexa’s heart.

“I…” Lexa moistened her lips nervously. “I might have been a little breathless when I saw her for the first time.” She finally admitted out loud.

“Right. And?”

Lexa didn’t answer for a moment, staring out front; gaze unfocused.

“Lex?”

“Whatever I felt or didn’t feel when I first saw her, plays no significance at the moment. I want to finish my job here. The company will only fully profit, if my disguise stays intact.”

“You really believe no one will find out?”

“I would hope not.”

“Why?”

“Because.” Lexa said childishly, clearly unhappy of the turn the conversation had taken.

“That’s not an answer. Let me be very specific now.” Anya said and leaned forward in her seat, looking Lexa in the eye. “Why don’t you want Clarke to get to know you? Especially, as she had managed to knock the breath out of you.”

“Because for once I’d like to meet someone, who isn’t interested in my money or what I could do for her with my influence, but ultimately I can’t because I have responsibilities to fulfil and can’t afford distractions.”

“Oh Lexa. That’s what this is about? Don’t you think it’s time to learn to start trusting people again? It’s been years. She’s been gone for ages. Besides, as long as your true identity is a secret, how would Clarke know there’s money to spend and influence to cash in? If she likes you whilst you’re undercover, you have your answers. And believe me when I say, that woman is not a Costia.”

Lexa stared at her for a long moment, contemplating the words and thinking about the meaning, but eventually she started shaking her head. “No!” she said with finality in her voice. “I can’t risk this. Please promise me to not talk to anyone about what I told you.”

Anya reassured her and left the discussion at that, as they both had to focus on the final landing. They could see the runway underneath and Lexa managed a smooth touchdown, slowing the airplane down. “Perfect as usual. It’s a shame you have to stop.” Anya complimented her friend sombrely. Lexa eyed her with an equally sad expression, but focused back and started the communication with the ground control. “Honolulu Ground, Grounder 307 off runway two six right at alpha six."

**_Grounder 307, taxi straight ahead to gate Charlie five._ **

"Straight ahead to Charlie five, Grounder 307." Both pilots nodded and steered the plane towards its parking position, when they heard the intercom signalling again.

“Cockpit, Lexa speaking.”

“This is Clarke. Nice landing, Captain. Can I give the final speech? Which gate are we heading to?”

“Charlie five and thank you.” Lexa smiled and felt her heartbeat quicken upon hearing the compliment.

“You’re welcome.” Clarke replied softly, and changed the channel to give her final announcement.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are ‘grounded’. Welcome to Honolulu Airport, where you no longer receive a lei so please don’t expect one. For those, including me, who had hoped to be on the Polar Express – maybe next time if you’re good.” Clarke laughed and continued. “Local time is 10:45 am, and the temperature is 25° Celsius or 77° Fahrenheit. For your safety and our comfort, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until our Captain, who has landed this mammoth so smoothly, turns off the fasten seat belt sign. We are cleared to park at gate C 5. At this time, and in case you’re ready to be pestered on your vacation, you may switch your cellular phones back to full mode if you wish. Once we have reached our final parking position please check around your seat for any personal belongings you may have brought on board with you, as we are not obliged to give anything back once you’ve stepped off the plane. We’re usually looking forward to jewellery and money.” Clarke winked in jest and gestured it was only a joke. “Furthermore, please use caution when opening the overhead bins, as heavy articles may have shifted around during the flight. On behalf of Grounder Airlines and the entire crew, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again. Have a nice day and enjoy your stay. Merry Christmas and aloha.” Clarke returned the receiver back to its resting position and sighed happily. Soon she’d be enjoying the warmth of the Hawaiian sun.

A few minutes later the plane came to a stop and the cockpit switched off all signs, which led to the usual chaos of everyone trying to gather their belongings and get off the plane as quickly as possible. Upon talking to the ground staff, Lexa informed the passengers that the gangway would arrive momentarily and thanked them for their patience.

Clarke disarmed the door upon hearing the knock and opened it to an overheated jetway.

“Urgh, couldn’t you get it cooled down?” She smiled, despite her question and the engineer just shrugged in response and walked out the side door. Clarke stepped aside and let the passengers leave, receiving ‘thank you’s’ and ‘Merry Christmas’.

As usual, it took about half an hour to clear the plane, and the flight attendants had had their hands full replacing the used equipment and trolleys with empty ones. The airplane would fly back in the afternoon to Los Angeles, which meant that they had to clean out all leftovers. Once they had done their jobs Monty, Echo, Raven and Octavia stepped out into the warm tunnel leading up to the terminal. Clarke was just about to follow her crew, when the cockpit door opened and Anya and Lexa walked out.

“Thank you all for the good work.” Lexa suddenly started, making everyone look at her. “I haven’t had the chance to get to know you all and I’m really sorry, but we will have more flights together.” She said with a half-smile.

“Well, you could come with us. We’re heading to the hotel to freshen up and will later go out.” Raven tried.

“Yeah Lexa.” Anya nudged her, knowing full well how her friend had declined her invitation earlier. “You should come to get to know them.” Lexa threw her a death stare, but knew she couldn’t decline the invitation anymore or she would look like an asshole.

“Ok.” She reluctantly agreed.

“Yeah.”

“Awesome.”

When everyone turned to finally leave the hot gangway, Clarke hesitated a moment, her eyes lingering on Lexa who was checking her watch. When she’d just decided to just let it go, whatever there was she had felt that morning, Lexa’s eyes locked with hers and a smile played at the corner of her mouth. Clarke reciprocated the shy gesture and finally started to follow her friends and colleagues. Maybe she should listen to Raven and open up a little?

When Lexa caught Clarke looking at her, she stopped for a second and just marvelled at the beauty, before offering a small smile. Upon seeing Clarke returning a smile of her own, Lexa started walking up the gangway to catch up with everyone. Maybe she should listen to Anya and start to trust again?

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and sorry for the delay. Life has been demanding lately. Thanks to everyone for reviewing or subscribing to the story. It had been a head to head run between the two stories, but this one is liked more, hence me updating it first.
> 
> Anyway, the newest installment is here for you to enjoy.

They walked up the gangway and entered the cool airport building. All of them were breathing in relief upon feeling the A/C hitting their bodies.

Anya had caught up with Raven and had placed her arm around the woman, whispering something into her ear. The brunette laughed and shook her head.

Clarke walked behind them with Octavia and Monty observing the two in their carefree behaviour. She knew from Raven the relationship wasn’t easy with both flying more often than not on different routes. They always tried to get flights together, so they would be able to spend their downtime with each other, but more often than not, they found their schedules didn’t align. It was hard to see Raven sad, because she was their 'Ray of light', but they’d all been there. It had been one of the reasons Clarke’s relationship with Niylah had been strained from the beginning.

They reached the exit of Honolulu International Airport and quickly scanned the area for their crew bus to transport them to the hotel. Soon enough, it arrived and shortly after they found themselves being driven away from the airport. The ride to the hotel was spent in silence. Anya and Raven whispered with each other, Octavia and Lexa had their eyes fixed on the road, sucking in the beauty that was Hawaii. Clarke took out her headphones, relaxed in the seat and closed her eyes. Music was her retreat when life became too difficult or too demanding or too painful or simply too much. Her run in with Niylah this morning and the way Lexa had managed to get into her head had taken its subconscious toll on her.

Lexa turned her head slightly to look over her shoulder, watching Clarke getting lost in her own world. She quickly scanned the bus, but no one regarded her with any attention, so she chanced another glance at her, after shifting her mirrored aviator glasses from the top of her head down onto her nose.

Her eyes landed first on the blonde’s closed ones, shadowed by long eyelashes. Lexa smiled softly and slowly let her gaze wander down the perfect nose, stopping at the little beauty spot above Clarke's upper lip. ‘This dot was worth its name’, Lexa thought and dared to lower her eyes further down onto tantalising pink lips, slightly glistening and a tiny bit separated. She breathed in deeply, feeling her heart rate rising and bit down on her own. She didn’t see anything beyond the mouth in front of her. It had been so long since Lexa had let herself feel anything. After her last miserable relationship, she had prevented anything from even slightly scraping at the concrete of the walls around her heart. However, since the death of her parents, the walls were even higher and thicker. It surprised her to no extent how quickly she had let the blonde in and allowed her to settle permanently on her mind. She couldn’t let that happen, she needed her whole focus on work. At least not until her undercover project was finished and she could tell Clarke, who she really was. Lexa finally averted her intense stare from Clarke’s lips and back up to the blonde’s still closed eyes.

‘Would it change anything if Clarke knew who I really was?’ She furrowed her brows, deeply in thought. ‘Did I want Clarke to know, who I really am?’ She absentmindedly stared a few more moments at the perfect face, before finally diverting her attention back to the landscape passing by. She didn’t want to admit to anyone, and certainly not to herself, but the pilot was looking forward to spending more time with Clarke. By not acknowledging this fact, she also avoided coming to terms with the other point; that she was scared to her bones about wanting to get to know her. There was something about Clarke beyond her beauty, sincerity and humour, which had Lexa utterly captivated.

‘This is not good at all’, the brunette concluded silently, shaking her head slightly, and closing her eyes, missing the knowing smirk on Anya and Raven’s faces, who had watched her for the last minutes.

# ***

“What do you think about Lexa?”

Octavia and Clarke had settled in their room and had unpacked their few bits for the night. They were currently relaxing on the balcony, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the gentleness of the wind stroking their skin.

“O." Clarke sighed at the topic. "I really don’t think there is anything to discuss. She’s the new pilot flying for the same company. Full stop.” Clarke adjusted her sunglasses on her face and reclined in the chair.

“Come on Clarke. She’s not just the new one.” Octavia stated, eyes closed and head tilted to the sun. When the blonde kept ignoring her friend, the brunette sat up in her chair and turned to face her. “Ok, entertain me for a minute.” She said and waited for Clarke to focus her attention on her. “If she hadn’t been the pilot, you would have asked her out.” Octavia indicated with a big smile on her face. “Am I right?”

“Wrong.” Clarke answered resolutely, leaving no room for argument.

“That was not an option.” The shorter girl pouted.

“Ok.” Clarke breathed out, pushing her glasses into her hair. “You know what. If she hadn’t been the new pilot, I would have never seen her again, and that would have been the end of the story.”

“Really?”

“Yes, because I had to leave and all I knew was her first name. How the hell would I’ve been able to get in touch?”

“True, but…” Octavia paused and her genuine expression returned into a naughty grin. “Fate has played you. She’ll be longer in your life and this gives you the chance to ask her out.”

“Why do you think I would want to do that?” Clarke asked annoyance clearly written all over her face.

“Because I know you.”

“Then you also know, that I’ve just been in a fucked up relationship with a colleague and do not want a repeat of that.”

“Give it time. I’m not talking relationship. I’m talking fun. You’re young and hot. She’s young and hot. Together you’re -”

“Don’t finish that sentence, I get it.” Clarke interrupted her.

“Fine, but do yourself a favour and loosen up a little. It’s time to live again.”

“I am living.” She answered, anger seeping into her voice. “Why do you and Ray keep persisting on that I’m not?”

“You’re breathing, we agree, but this is not living sweetheart.” Octavia put her hands on top of Clarke’s and squeezed them. “Being happy in the here and now, looking forward to things excitedly, looking back on things cheerfully – that’s living. You merely exist.” Clarke could fool everyone around her that she was a happy young woman, but her two closest friends.

“Damn you and Ray.” She mumbled in defeat. “What do you suggest I do in order to start living?”

“Well, you could try having fun tonight. Dress up and enjoy yourself.” Octavia grinned, knowing she had won the debate for now.

“I can do that.” Clarke smiled back, knowing she had lost, but not feeling as bad about it as she thought she would. It was hard for her to admit even to herself, but Lexa had had her intrigued the second she had chosen to step into the blonde's life. ‘This might be a sign’, she mused and slid her Ray Ban’s back over her eyes.

# ***

“Lex, you ready?” Anya knocked at the door of Lexa’s hotel room. She was sharing with Raven, but had wanted to talk to Lexa before they ventured out for the evening. The door opened and revealed a tired looking woman.

“Wow, you’re not ready. Did you not rest for a little?” Lexa moved to the side to let her friend pass. They had arrived two hours earlier, and after checking everyone in, had disappeared to recharge their batteries.

“I tried…” Lexa sighed and plonked herself back down in the chair she had vacated to open her door, “but Titus had emailed the latest numbers and I had to go through the document and confirm, so everyone back in LA knows how to proceed.”

“God, can you not switch off for once?” Anya asked; concern etched into her voice.

“Not really. Told you it’s a 24/7 profession.” Lexa smirked tiredly.

“Well, enough now. You deserve downtime as well. Actually, you need some.” Anya stood behind her friend and saved the open Excel file, before closing the laptop. “Get ready, we’re leaving in 40 minutes. And yes, you are coming.”

Lexa stared at her for a moment, before being resigned to her fate of having to talk to Anya now. “Thanks by the way for throwing me under the bus earlier.” Lexa said sarcastically.

“You’re welcome.” She said with a teasing smirk. “I couldn’t let you stay in. Besides, this crew is really entertaining.”

“You only say that because Raven is here.” Lexa reclined in her chair, stretching her back, curious eyes on her friend’s face. “How are you guys doing anyway? Sorry I haven’t asked yet.”

Anya looked at her thoughtfully, thinking how to answer the question. “Raven is wonderful, I agree, but no it’s not just her who makes this crew amazing to spend time with.” She said and added in a gentler voice. “We’re doing well. It’s hard, but we manage.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” Lexa nodded with a sincere expression. They were silent for a moment. Lexa looked down on her hands before raking one through her hair.

“What’s on your mind?” Anya sat down on the other side of the small coffee table.

“I’m nervous.” Green eyes flickered over brown, the tenseness in the forest coloured orbs painfully obvious.

“Nervous about your undercover project or Clarke?” Anya asked carefully.

“Ironically kind of both.” Lexa laughed unhappily. “I don’t know how to be around her. I feel she can suss me out as soon as I open my mouth. I’m afraid I’ll spill the beans involuntarily.”

“In order to do that, you would have to actually speak to her.” Anya smirked. “Didn’t really see you doing a lot of that.”

“If I spend the whole evening with the crew, I’m pretty sure I’ll talk to her.”

“You could be the silent observer. Unless you want to talk to her.”

“Huh?”

“Lex, let’s drop this bullshit. I know you.” She sighed impatiently. “You’re more than interested in talking to her. Clarke is…” She stopped for a second, moving her hand uncoordinatedly in front of her body.

“Special.” Lexa finished the sentence, before Anya had found the proper word to describe the head of cabin. The answer stunned both of them and silence took over for a few moments, before Anya cleared her throat and quietly voiced her opinion.

“If you think that already, than she’s more than just special.”

“She is dangerous.” Lexa nodded along to her statement.

“I can see why you think so.”

They exchanged a look that said more than words could and Lexa closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

“You know? Sometimes, such danger is acceptable. It can spice up your life in a healthy way.” Anya interrupted their quietness.

“Yeah Guru?”

“Well, it could give you a chance at a life.”

“Please, what do you know about living?” Lexa mocked her friend. “You jet from A to B and do pit stops at your girlfriend’s bed.”

“Well...” Anya grinned, unaffected by her friend's obvious dig. “If you want to go down this lane, when was the last time you did a pit stop, huh?” Anya countered.

“None of your business.”

“That’s the universal answer for it has been too long.” She concluded. “Which means, between the two of us, I, at least get laid, which is a step closer to living than you.”

“Touché.” Lexa finally grinned as well.

“Listen.” Anya sobered, adopting a serious voice yet again. “I’m not saying you should have sex. I mean you should, but not with Clarke. If Raven is right, she’s still pretty delicate after her messy breakup. However, I do think she’s perfect for you, to get you out of your uber-scheduled lifestyle.”

“I could try to become friends with her, I guess.” Lexa acknowledged her friend’s worry.

“Yeah, she’s a good friend. Might wanna go and talk to Raven or Octavia?”

“That’s highly inappropriate Anya.”

“Maybe for Lexa Woods, owner of the Grounder Corporation, but not for Lexa Hayes, simple pilot of Grounder Airlines.” Anya smiled.

“I don’t want to use my undercover position to get information I would otherwise not be privy to.”

“Oh my God, Lex.” Another impatient exhale followed by the scrape of the chair, when Anya pushed it back to stand up. “Take that stick out of your ass. You have that special opportunity to experience how life could be, without anyone being all over you, ‘cos of your money or position.” She said louder than before, flailing her arms without aim. “These few people, not that this would change anything, know nothing about you. You could learn how you, as a nameless person, come across.”

“Good point.” Lexa accepted. “I’ll get ready.”

“Hurry up, you’ve got 15 minutes left.” Anya huffed and left the room with a headshake walking back to her own. ‘When did ‘Babysitting Lexa’ become part of my job description?’, she thought, clenching her jaw for a moment. “Right when we became friends.” She whispered to herself and a small smile replaced her frown.

# ***

Lexa quickly took a look at the few clothes she had taken along for the overnight stay to find something suitable to wear. She decided on her outfit from the morning, the tight black shirt, half covered by an equally black leather jacket and the lose fitting combat pants. She opted to replace her heavy boots with plain chucks. She let her hair flow freely over her shoulder and touched up her makeup.

When she made her way down to the entrance hall, she spotted the group fairly quickly. All were dressed casually, she had realised in relief, as soon as her gaze had swiped over them. Her eyes instantly found Clarke, who had changed out of her flight attendant uniform into a beautiful summer dress with big yellow flowers forming colourful patterns on soft fabric, which played teasingly with the blonde’s curves. Lexa had to force her attention away from the woman and smiled casually, making quick eye contact with everyone. “Hello again.” She said as cheerfully as possible, receiving greetings back from the crew.

“Hi.” Clarke answered a second later. She hadn’t been able to take her own eyes off the pilot. The outfit had had her full attention that morning and it did it again for her. ‘Damn,’ she thought to herself, 'This woman is unbelievably sexy'.

“Hey there Captain.” Raven laughed, upon seeing her friend struggle, placing an arm around the blonde, effectively pushing her out of her reverie. “Shall we?”

Clarke finally lowered her gaze and smirked at being caught staring. “Sure.” She said calmly and the group finally started to move out of the hall into the warmth of Honolulu. Once the group had turned to leave the hotel, Lexa allowed a small grin to take over her otherwise impassionate features. ‘Wow’, she thought to herself, but immediately regretted having learned the fact that her attraction to the flight attendant was obviously mutual. She sighed silently. That would make it even more complicated for the pilot to stay away from her.

They ordered a small bus for transportation and were quickly on their way to the cocktail bar the crew had been raving about. Soon they arrived and piled out onto the street.

“Wow!” Lexa breathed out, completely taken by surprise at the beauty of the Honolulu skyline.

“You really haven’t been here, huh?” Clarke commented, having been witness to Lexa’s surprised reaction.

“I told you, I haven’t.” The brunette turned around to look at her.

“You did.” Clarke smiled amused but sincere at the other woman.

“Beautiful.” Lexa said quietly, still looking at Clarke, which left her comment open to interpretation whether she meant the city or the blonde, who blushed at the words.

“Hey guys. You coming?” Raven yelled at them from the other side of the busy boulevard.

“We’ll be there in a minute.” Clarke hollered back and turned towards her companion. “You want to take a stroll along the waterfront?” They locked eyes and Lexa nearly forgot the question hanging in the air between them.

“Yes. I mean no. Or maybe.” She stammered, as shiny blue orbs made it difficult for her to focus.

“It’s ok.” Clarke laughed lightly. “Maybe another time?” She offered a moment later.

Lexa only grimaced at her inability to relax. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” The blonde reassured. “Let’s catch up with the others.”

They crossed the road at the light and quickly joined the rest of the group. The only reason why Lexa had been hesitant to take Clarke up on her invitation for a walk had been her deep rooted inability to tell lies. She just couldn’t conceal the tell-tale signs, and if Clarke had asked her a personal question, she would have felt obliged to answer truthfully. Lexa Hayes didn't exist, so the truthful answers would have revealed information about Lexa Woods. She really had wanted to spend some time with the blonde; she sighed in defeat and followed the group towards the club. ‘It was for the better.’

Raven had sided up with Clarke as soon as the woman had been back, whilst Anya was strolling next to Lexa.

“What was that about?” Raven whispered.

“She was impressed by the skyline and I asked her if she fancied a walk.”

“Oooh, that’s smooth Griffin.”

Clarke smiled innocently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just offered to be a guide, as we have been here so often.”

“Yeah right. Did O talk to you?”

“Yes, and I’m not going to do anything with Lexa.”

“Woah, we don’t mean for you to jump her bones.”

“You keep hinting at it and I’m tired of you or O pushing me to get some action. I’m happy right now. I won’t lie, I’m intrigued by her, but I have plenty of time to get to know her.”

“Fair enough. We just want you to give it a try.”

“I am, ok? It's not a one sided thing though.”

 

# ***

“What was that about?” Anya was asking the same question a few feet behind the flight attendants.

“I don't know what you mean?”

“Ah come on Lex.”

“She just asked me if I wanted to have a look around…” She paused, rolling her eyes at her friend’s expression. “Don't look at me like that. I know I screwed up, but what if she asks me things? I mean, what am I going to say, if she for example wanted to know, where I come from?”

“For fucks sake, LA is a fucking big city.” Anya hissed through her clenched jaw. “Stop being so super cautious. If she wants to get to know you, tell her what there is to know. She won't want to hear all about your dramatic childhood experiences on an evening out, god!” Anya exhaled loudly and slapped Lexa hard on her back. “Remember, living means daring.”

“Not sure I'm ready to gamble.”

“Well, like it or not, but I challenge you to talk to her. Spend some time with her. Just be yourself.”

“Why is this so important to you?” Lexa finally asked the question, which had been on her mind all afternoon.

“I love you, and want you happy. You deserve to be happy. Happiness comes in all forms and shapes. It’s that simple, really.” Anya said and shrugged her shoulders. They had reached the entrance of the Nightclub and queued in the rather short line.

“Ok. What makes you think, talking to her will make me happy though?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at her.” Anya had stepped closer to her friend. “Again, no one is talking about bedding her. Just relax.” She gave one more pointed look and stepped up to her girlfriend, circling her arm around Raven’s waist and pulling her in for a quick kiss.

‘If Anya is so excited and positive about something, maybe I should give it a try?’ Lexa squared her shoulders and walked up to Clarke, who had been looking at her phone, ignoring Octavia asking the bouncer if a specific barkeeper worked this nightshift.

“Hi.”

Clarke looked up and into the green expanse focused at her. “Hi yourself.” She smiled amusedly.

“I’d ask if you came her often, but I think it’s a given.” Lexa said and laughed with Clarke. “About earlier.” She started after a moment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward.”

“Lexa, it’s ok. You didn’t. Offer stands though. If you want to see a little of Honolulu, I’m happy to show you around.”

They were finally able to enter the building and Octavia made a beeline for the main bar, hollering over her shoulder she’d bring the first round of drinks.

They walked into the spacious club and looked around. It was still early enough for some tables, located at the walls to the left and right to be empty, so they quickly settled down and inspected the premises. There were a couple of bars, one in each corner it seemed and people danced on every available spot. In the far back was a DJ booth, which was currently occupied by a young woman plunging the club into an ‘out of space’ experience with her music accompanied by very fitting lighting. Lexa felt at ease although it was loud. She hadn’t realised how much she had missed going out and enjoying herself. A small smile played at the corner of her mouth as she let her gaze wander back to the group of people she had come with.

Raven and Anya were in a deep conversation with Clarke and Monty, whilst Octavia had returned and was distributing a variety of cocktails with the help of Echo. Lexa found herself sipping an interesting concoction of strawberry flavoured juice combined with water melon cordial and lime syrup. Not her first choice, but it worked well for a mocktail.

She was turning back into the discussion, when she felt her leg being kicked ever so lightly and Anya replying to Octavia. “I don’t know anything. I’m sure everyone will be informed sooner or later.”

“It’s been half a year and no one has bothered to tell us, who we’re working for. I mean, you know, I felt I belonged to the family, when the Woods were in charge of their own company. They cared about us. We knew they did, but whoever is in charge now has no idea who we are. It’s frustrating.”

“I wasn’t even aware they had a child to start with. They can’t be interested in taking over the company and getting to know us. I mean, fair enough if Grounder Airlines was bigger with more employees -” Echo chimed in.

“Yeah.” Monty interrupted her. “Remember last year? The Woods sent such nice Christmas cards to everyone. Even the handyman got a handwritten note. It’s so sad they’re dead. I really miss them.”

Anya quickly glanced over to Lexa, who had adopted her stoic façade and sat emotionless sucking on the straw in her mouth, eyes fixed on the table.

“Hey, consider how the child of Mr and Mrs Woods must feel, if even you miss them. I think we should give them more time. They’re mourning the death of their parents.” Clarke stopped Octavia, who had opened her mouth to add her own opinion to the matter.

“Well.” The brunette shook her head. “I’m just thinking it would be a nice gesture to acknowledge the hard work, as the older Woods have done.” Octavia stood up. “Dance anyone?”

“I’ll go get some less liquid sugar.” Clarke declined and walked over to the bar, whilst Raven, Monty and Echo followed Octavia to the dance floor.

“You ok?” Anya asked Lexa as quietly as possible, who hadn’t moved for the last five minutes.

“I didn’t know my parents had done that.” She said and lowered her gaze once more, tears collecting in the emerald pools.

“Don’t beat yourself up. Someone should have told you. Maybe ask Titus next time you talk to him?”

“Yeah, yeah. I should.” Lexa angrily wiped over her face and glanced up, when Clarke arrived back with a tray of empty glasses and a pitcher of beer.

“Cocktails are great, but I’m a simple girl.” She said and sat down again. “Pity we don’t have more downtime, so you guys could drink as well. The beer is really great.”

“Well, I’m sure we’re missing out. I’ll go and dance too.” Anya proclaimed, leaving the two alone.

“So…” Lexa started, but had no idea what to talk about.

“Lexa?” Clarke interrupted her in her musing of what to say next. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah sure.” She quickly answered and added. “So, have you always wanted to become a flight attendant?” Lexa did the only thing she knew; start a meaningless conversation and steer the subject far away from herself. Clarke eyed her for another moment and decided to play along.

“No.” She laughed a little. “I wanted to be a doctor like my mom, when I was little. In high school I wanted to become an artist. Then life happened and I found myself staring at an infomercial advertising the job of a stewardess. It sounded great back then. Never having to settle down, always on the go, so many inspirations for my paintings or drawings.” She laughed again, but it was tinged with disappointment. “I haven’t touched a pencil or paintbrush in years. This…” She gestured between them indicating to what linked them together, “became my vocation.”

“Can I ask why?”

“You can, but I unfortunately don’t know how to answer your question.” She sighed and took a sip of her beer. “I guess I was more affected by my father’s death than I had realised.”

‘She’s lost a parent too?’ Lexa thought and the urge to move to the other couch, to be closer to Clarke and take her into her arms became nearly unbearable, but she resisted and instead smiled sadly. “That can influence you on a totally different level.” She let slip and bit her tongue as soon as she realised what she had said.

“Did you…” Clarke looked at her with sadness in the deep blue orbs that made Lexa’s heart ache for her. She nodded unable to divert her gaze.

“That sucks.” Clarke stated after a moment and finally lowered her eyes.

“Why did your father’s death stop you from painting?” Lexa asked after a while.

“He was my biggest fan.” Clarke looked up from her shredded napkin. “He was always the first to see any drawing or scribble or dabble I ever produced. For the longest time, he was the only one, who had shown any interest in my work. It had been only a few months before he’d died, that people started to see me as an artist. He’d been my go to person, whenever I’d needed advice. With him gone, I felt and still feel like, no one is interested in it anymore, because I don’t have my father’s blessing.” She sighed. “I know it sounds weird.”

“It doesn’t.” Lexa offered gently, placing her hand over the table on top of Clarke’s. “I know what it means to seek your parent’s approval and I also know how it feels if you don’t get it.” She squeezed the warm fingers under hers and retreated, reclining on her end of the couch. “Worse if you’ll never get it anymore.”

“What happened to your parents?”

Lexa looked at Clarke in silence. “Car accident.” She finally answered truthfully.

“That’s awful.”

“Hi ladies. Why the sombre expressions?” Raven fell down on the couch next to Clarke and let her eyes wander between them. “What happened?” She asked carefully.

“Nothing.” Clarke said; waving away whatever had been between her and Lexa with a pearly smile and a wink.

“Yeah. All good.” The pilot confirmed with an equally over the top grin.

“Wow, you guys should go into the movie business.” Raven mumbled taking a sip of her cocktail. “Convincing act.”

Not long after, the rest of the group re-joined them and a lively conversation about Hawaii and Christmas erupted between them.

Whenever Clarke and Lexa exchanged a glance they smiled reassuringly. They might not have known each other for long, but the revelation of their mutual pain had formed an invisible bond between the two women.

The night ended fairly early, as Anya and Lexa had to stick to the safety rules of their jobs. They needed to make sure to have at least 8 hours of sleep before flying.

When they reached the hotel lobby, Raven pulled Anya quickly to the elevators with a short “Don’t disturb, we’ll meet you at the bus in the afternoon.”

Monty and Echo quickly disappeared as well, leaving Octavia, Clarke and Lexa alone.

“I’ll check for… whatever.” Octavia mumbled and walked off to the elevators, studying the floor plan to occupy herself. The two remaining women looked at each other and smiled shyly.

“I had a really nice time tonight.” Clarke finally admitted.

“Me too.” Lexa smiled warmly.

“Shall we meet for breakfast later or are you meeting us at the bus as well?”

“I…” Lexa stopped, thinking if she had a scheduled meeting in the morning. “I’m not sure.”

“Well…” Clarke took out her phone and looked up at Lexa. “We could exchange numbers and you text me if you want to meet up?”

“Sure.” Lexa said quickly and typed her contact details into Clarke’s phone. “I don’t have my mobile with me at the moment. Can you send me a text later?”

“I can.” She smiled and pocketed her mobile. “Good night Lexa.”

“Good night Clarke.” Lexa smiled back, before the blonde and her brunette friend stepped into the lift and disappeared from her sight.

By the time Lexa was settling in her bed, she had checked her calendar and had sighed deeply. Of course she had a meeting in the morning, a phone conference with Titus and her right hand Nia Izard. Well, at least she could address the Christmas card problem right away. Now that she was aware of it, Lexa decided to send an Email to all of her employees. It was the least she could do until the New Year’s Conference in LA, where she would be introduced as the new owner and could personally address how grateful she was for the people working for her. She had four weeks left at her undercover job. Once she had been revealed to the whole company, she wouldn’t be able to go anywhere incognito.

A muffled sound stirred her out of her musings and she looked for her phone, which had slipped under the covers, to see Clarke had sent her the promised text.

**Unknown number (00:56):**

_**Thank you again for being so open. I guess it must have been hard for you to talk about your loss. In any case, and if you need someone who understands, I’m here for you. Rest well Lexa. Clarke** _

She sighed. Four weeks of avoiding Clarke, who was sweet and caring and beautiful and tantalising and all Lexa would want and need in a woman. Four weeks of denying something, she hadn’t wanted in a long time.

**Lexa Hayes (00:58):**

_**Thank you Clarke. I appreciate your offer. Sleep well. Lexa** _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright... what do you think? Let me know here or on tumblr. Keen to hear from you.
> 
> On another note, I won't be able to update regularly as proven at the moment. I, however, will do my best to not let you wait too long.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And welcome back as well... as promised the new chapter. Hope you'll like it.

The flight back to Los Angeles the next day had gone by without any complications. They had left on time, the cabin crew around Clarke had done their best to lift the spirit of the sad passengers who had had to fly home. The overall flight had been calm and without disturbances. Once the airplane had been disembarked and cleared, the crew found itself back in the terminal.

“Thanks again for making this a very great experience.” Lexa said relieved, a smile playing on her full lips.

“Well, we hoped you would have a good start.” Clarke answered on behalf of the cabin crew.

“You guys are all off right?” Anya stepped up behind Lexa, handing her some papers, whilst looking over to her girlfriend.

“I am.” Raven and Octavia confirmed at the same time.

“Yeah me too. Got an airport staff meeting early tomorrow morning, pleasure of being elected as the staff representative.” Clarke groaned. She was tired. She hadn’t slept well the previous night. Her conversation with Lexa had kept her awake for a long time. She just felt so much understanding and appreciation for the pilot and wished she could do more. This was beyond her physical attraction; she genuinely cared for her, as they shared the mutual experience of a similar tragedy.

“Airport staff meeting? Spinning as many plates as you can, huh Griffin?” Anya teased draping her arm over Raven’s shoulder. “Well if you excuse me and my girlfriend… we have a bed to catch.” She winked upon the mutual groan from all sides at the millionth sexual innuendo of the day and turned to Lexa. “Call me if you need anything.” She said, making the international hand gesture for a phone call. Lexa only nodded and returned her attention back to the papers in her hands.

After the two had strolled off, Monty, Echo and Octavia discussed briefly with Clarke what they wanted her to take into the meeting and left shortly after, when Clarke waved them off. Octavia smiled at her and gave her the thumbs up, but the blonde only rolled her eyes. Clarke had added their input to the ever-growing list, which she had started on her phone, of the complaints of all the cabin crews working at the airport, when she eyed the pilot still completely engaged with the information on the sheets. “That looks rather boring.” Clarke smiled, pointing to the papers in the pilot’s hands.

“Calculations of kerosene in combination with the flight route and influenced by weather as well as consumed food and drinks and efficiency based on the capacity of passengers.” Lexa replied absentmindedly.

“Um, wow. You have to know all that?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?” Clarke asked, genuinely interested.

“Why what?” Lexa finally diverted her attention to the conversation she had unwittingly joined. “Clarke?”

“Lexa? You ok?” She laughed, but eyed her worriedly.

“Oh god. What did I say?” Lexa looked shocked, eyes darting back and forth between Clarke’s eyes, before she folded the sheets of paper in her hands and hurriedly crammed them into her pants pocket.

“Hey relax.” Clarke walked closer to the brunette. “I just asked why you’d need to know all the stuff like kerosene amounts and efficiency.”

“Um, I don’t.” Lexa averted the inquisitive gaze of the blonde and started walking down the hall towards the exit. “I’m just curious.” She smiled and hoped she came across as a nerd who just loved her job immensely.

“Ok.” Clarke nodded, following the brunette through the empty terminal, but didn’t seem convinced. Once they reached the exit she turned towards Lexa and offered with a small smile, “Anyway, see you when I see you I guess?”

“What’s the meeting about?” Lexa asked, now that the dangerous subject was off the table.

“Huh? Tomorrow morning’s?” Clarke inquired surprised, as she didn’t think the pilot had been listening to any of the conversations going on around her. Upon her nod, Clarke explained the difficulties between the airport management and operational procedures, which collided more often than not with the needs of ground and cabin staff of the airlines frequenting the hub.

“And you’re there to negotiate better working conditions?”

“Not really. I’m there to make sure the ‘pen pushers’ get an understanding of our needs to consider them in their decision making.”

“Wow.” Lexa complimented impressed. “I wasn’t aware of that.”

“Why would you be?”

Lexa held her breath for a moment, wide green eyes searching for an explanation, but before anything reasonable came to her mind, Clarke helped her out. “Have you been part of things like that at another airport?”

“Um.” Lexa exhaled quickly, thanking the universe for the blonde’s obliviousness. “Yes indeed. I meant, I wasn’t aware there are such meetings at this airport too. Do you have pilots sitting in on the meeting?”

Clarke watched the relief wash over the brunette’s features after she had offered her an out. Something didn’t match up, she thought to herself, before placing a smile on her face. “No. Pilots are usually very busy creatures.” She answered as politely as possible, but still indicating that this particular occupational category of human beings didn’t care for others. Lexa smiled understandingly. On her mental list of things to think about she added, how to make sure the people working for her were aware, that everyone had the same worth and value independently on their job.

“It’s great you invest time to help your colleagues.” Lexa finally offered, eyes trained on the blonde’s face, dancing back and forth between eyes and mouth. Clarke looked at her with curiosity and unaltered appreciation, before a yawn interrupted their silent conversation. The pilot chuckled at that, before stepping to the side to allow the blonde to leave the airport. “Rest well, Clarke.”

“Goodnight Lexa.”

Once Clarke was out of sight, she released a long breath and scolded herself for being so careless. Twice. She knew the blonde would be a danger to her. She needed to learn to keep her brain alert whenever she was around. Well, she had been paying attention. To her inquisitive and captivating blue eyes, her cute nose, her sensual lips… “Shit.” She let out. ‘Yeah, more focusing on the beautiful mind of the blonde, than the breath-taking body.’ She slapped herself soundly on her arm and made her way quickly over to the shuttle service offered by the hotel, she had opted to stay for the time being. She needed to make a decision whether she’d stay in the city once her identity had been revealed to everyone or move back to the east coast, where the actual headquarters of Grounder Corporation had been established. Her parents had been travelling between Boston and Los Angeles fairly regularly, making the office in the ‘City of Angels’ the second biggest in the company. She could live and work in either city.

Lexa went through the motion, deeply invested in her thoughts, and was surprised, when she realised the shuttle had stopped in front of the hotel. She needed to stop thinking too much. Her mother always reminded her to live in the here and now. Lexa greeted the front desk and walked briskly over to the elevators, which carried her up to her floor. Once in her room, she stripped off her uniform jacket and shoes and released her hair out of the tight braid she had forced it in that morning. She moaned at the sensation of her hair falling loose around her face and scratched her head. She then set up her laptop and opened her calling app to contact her headquarters. It was close to midnight in LA, so Boston would probably be sleeping. Well, Boston might, but her parents most trusted advisor surely wouldn’t be.

“Titus.” She greeted as the face of a bald man came into view.

“Ms Woods.” He returned the salutation.

Lexa rolled her eyes and hissed in annoyance. ”It’s Lexa.”

“Right.” He cleared his throat. “Good evening Lexa.”

“I’m sorry I’m calling you at this time of night, but have you had a chance to look into the Christmas card problem we talked about?”

“Don’t worry, I was waiting for your call.” He reassured her and a small smile flashed over his face, but was gone just as quickly. “Yes, and again my deepest apologies for overseeing this matter would be of importance to you.”

“Well I wasn’t aware of it as I’ve never received a card from my parents. However, people seem to be fond of the tradition and I don’t want to take that away from them.”

“I understand. Well Ms Izard and I have come up with various options for you.” Lexa perked up at the prospect of finally getting something done right. “You can either use one of the previous designs your parents have used or as you have already suggested yourself, send an email instead.”

“These are the only ideas you came up with in the last ten hours?” Lexa asked in disbelief.

“Well, it’s on short notice and so yes, that is all we can do at the moment. Already printing hundreds of cards takes time and the delivery to everyone before Christmas is a tough task. To create a design from scratch will take too long.”

Lexa let her head fall into her hands and massaged her temples, feeling a headache approaching. “I understand.” She finally mumbled. “Can you send me the old designs with the year they have been used?”

“Now?”

Lexa sighed, remembering the three hour time difference. “Do it first thing when you’re in the office. Can we quickly go over tomorrow’s agenda?”

“Right away Ms… Lexa…” He smiled awkwardly and continued. “You have a meeting with a possible investor at ten in the morning at your LA based office.” Lexa nodded along, checking her calendar on her phone. “It should last no longer than lunch time. You have a flight to Seattle at around two in the afternoon.”

“Ok. I am off after that, right?”

“As far as I can see no more meetings are scheduled. Accommodations have been acquired for the crew.”

“Good. I’ll be at the office before ten. Call me if you need me. Thank you Titus.” She smiled gratefully at the older man.

“Sure… Lexa. I hope you’ll get some sleep.” He answered knowingly and her smile vanished.

“Thanks. You too.” She answered awkwardly and ended the call. She sighed deeply and went through her nightly routine before exhaustingly climbing onto her bed. She sighed and closed her eyes. ‘May the nightmares begin.’

# ***

The next day came quicker than expected. Lexa got ready and drove herself with a rented car to her office. She didn’t want to be depending on anyone else more than she already did.

She had had a short night spiced with her usual dreams of being unprepared for meetings, being exposed to her co-workers and losing her company to money sharks. She sighed for the millionth time, when she parked the car and walked into the one level building of Grounder Corporation. She walked past the receptionist with a smile and straight into the office of her parent’s second most trusted employee and manager of the LA branch, Nia Izard. She received her with her usual cold demeanour and Lexa wondered once more why her parents liked the woman so much.

“So, Titus informed me you wanted to see the old designs?” Nia closed the folder she had been studying to watch her deceased boss’ daughter over the rim of her glasses. She had only met Lexa Woods when she had come for her incognito tour in Los Angeles. Her existence had been a well kept secret, Nia herself only learning of her at the funeral. She still wondered why the Woods hadn’t trusted her earlier with the information.

“Yes. Has he sent them?” Lexa asked, eying the woman behind the big table with dislike. Morning greetings were so overrated.

“Of course. Printed and on your desk.”

“Anything else?”

“Have you thought about the annual conference in a month? We need to settle on a location and print the invitations.” Nia stood and picked up another folder, following Lexa, who had turned towards her own office.

“Ok, no. What are the possibilities?” Lexa asked, gloating internally for making her follow, instead of standing like a pre-schooler in the other woman’s office.

“We have three conference centres at our disposal.” If Nia had been offended or disturbed by the subtle display of authority, she didn’t show it. “Firstly, ‘Laz Event Space’, very fancy and expensive, but would surely make a great impression on the staff. Secondly, ‘The Greatest Place’, a moderately priced meeting space and lastly, ‘Stage 1’, well-known and has been used by Grounder Airline numerous times already.”

“Ok.” Lexa nodded, taking the folder handed to her and skimming the pages. “Laz Event Space does look neat. How much exactly is expansive?” She eyed her with a raised eyebrow.

“Well they offer a flat rate beginning at $3000 and additional costs would occur if we wanted the rooftop.”

“Have you obtained a quote?”

“I haven’t, as you haven’t decided which premises to take.” Nia answered annoyed.

“How am I supposed to decide on anything without knowing the costs it would take to rent a space?” Nia shot death glares at Lexa, who sat unaffected in her office chair. “Tell you what Nia.” The younger woman finally broke the deafening silence. “You go and get a quote from all three event places and we’ll talk again.” She turned away from the woman and started to look at the designs neatly presented with the date they have been used as requested. When Nia hadn’t moved for a moment, Lexa raised her eyes again and fixed a stern glance onto the other woman. “Is there anything else?”

“I am not your secretary in case you hadn’t realised.” Nia hissed, finally showing her anger.

“I know you’re not. My parents considered you a very capable manager. I’m not saying you have to personally get the quotes.” Lexa smiled softly, as if looking at a baby. “Just get them.”  Nia turned on her heels and stormed out of the room.

Ten minutes later a young woman entered her office and introduced herself as her secretary. Lexa groaned inwardly and explained to the shy woman, what she had wanted Nia to do. This woman was impossible. ‘Really, what did her parents see in her?’

The designs of the Christmas cards were frustratingly boring and not what Lexa would have picked to start with. She concluded the raging protectiveness of the tradition on the part of her employees must stem from the words and gratitude her parents had expressed. The cards themselves surely didn’t convey any thankfulness. They were extremely traditional, and whilst Lexa could support customs, she felt her whole being spoke modernism and social change. Mainly, being gay didn’t fit too well with the overly religious themed motives her parents had chosen, but more importantly, she didn’t feel comfortable choosing one belief over another. She was sure not everyone working for the company was a Christian or believed at all. Therefore, Lexa considered Santa Claus should be representing her ‘Christmas Message’. He stood for the notion of being good and to be treated well in return; exactly what Lexa wanted her employees to express to their customers, as well as each other. This meant, however, she would have to design something new, and in accordance to Titus she didn’t have enough time for this. She groaned loudly showing her dislike of the situation, but pushed the Christmas card issue further back on her itinerary. It was closing in on her ten o’clock appointment and she settled in her chair to get acquainted with the possible investor. 

# ***

Clarke had had a long day. She had gotten up early in the morning to join the meeting and had ended up arguing with the representative of the airport management team about the times to get an airplane ready for take-off. It had always been the same issue. The ground staff had accused the flight staff of stalling time and the flight staff had blamed the inefficient information policy of the airport for uninformed and angry passengers.

She had ended up running out of the meeting to catch her first flight which had been scheduled at 9:20 to Las Vegas. Luckily she had had a competent team and flew with Octavia, who had known of her occupancy in the morning and in the interim had acted as head of cabin until Clarke had taken over.

“O? You guys all set?” She asked, running into the still empty plane, taking off her jacket and storing it in the staff overhead bin.

“Yeah. All good. You ok?” She asked, handing her the passenger list as well as the checklist of the interior.

“God, don’t ask. Stupid Nigel argued again for ages about how we don’t process the procedures in a timely manner.”

Octavia nodded, but decided to not indulge her, seeing as Clarke was already agitated. “Well I’ll leave it to you to talk to the pilots now that you’re here.”

Clarke knocked at the cockpit door, which opened seconds later and delivered the information they needed. Once they checked off all security points, Clarke gave the signal for boarding and shortly after found herself smiling at business people and gamblers alike. Las Vegas always promised a special crowd of passengers. The flight was uneventful. With just an hour between the two destinations the on board catering only consisted of distributing a snack upon boarding the plane. However small their work occupancy seemed to be with a short flight, the cabin crew still had their hands full, monitoring the passengers. After her many years it didn’t come as a surprise to Clarke that passengers ignored advice or rules given by her or her crew. To keep seated with their seatbelts fastened due to the risk of turbulence, was the most disregarded announcement.

The plane landed smoothly and disembarking was finished in record time, leaving Clarke, Octavia and the rest of the crew a few minutes to breathe and grab some non-filtered air, before they had had to get the plane ready to fly back to Los Angeles.

With a few minutes delay they arrived at lunchtime at their home base and the whole crew headed over to the canteen. When Octavia and Clarke entered the room, Raven signalled for them to join her, Anya and Lexa, who seemed to have arrived just moments ago as well. The women nodded and waited for their turn to buy lunch. Octavia was talking about her evening plans, but Clarke didn’t listen. She was secretly admiring Lexa in her form fitting pilot gear. To think they had only met a few days ago was as surprising as it was unsettling, considering the eruption of butterflies in her stomach, when her gaze met the other woman’s eyes over the expanse of the dining hall. They shared a timid smile and Clarke tuned back into the conversation with her friend. When they reached the table Octavia asked about her next flight.

“San Francisco to and fro, and then to El Paso.” Clarke sighed.

“I’m with you to El Paso.” Anya offered between bites of her salad. Clarke looked over to Raven, who shook her head.

“Going to Seattle with O and Lexa here.” She grinned.

“Great. At least I don’t have to be jealous of any of you, after that horribly long day, to be able to sleep in their own beds.” Clarke joked and started to devour her lunch.

“How many flights are you doing today?” Lexa asked her quietly, concern evident.

“Five.” She mumbled with her mouth full.

“Ok. That’s a lot.” Clarke kept looking at the brunette whilst swallowing the contents of her mouth.

“Yeah but all of them are short distance flights. The Woods’ had asked everyone a couple of months ago, how we felt about that particular issue. The majority of crew members hadn’t minded longer hours if it helped the company to grow. We’ve been promised pay rises by the end of the year.”

Lexa nodded. As far as she had been aware, her parents had established more routes all over the US and acquired more planes to be able to cover the new additions to the flight plans, which had led them into a tight but manageable budget. Her parents always had just enough people working for them to cover their flights, to ensure proper payment with benefits. However, when they had started flying all over the US, it had become apparent that the cabin crew members had had to bear the brunt of the work. She carefully eyed Anya, who was looking at her.

“As long as you’re ok with that?” She finally acknowledged Clarke, who simply smiled and shrugged as if saying ‘can’t change it now, can I’.

Thanks to Raven the conversation changed to happier subjects and soon everyone was laughing. Before long, Clarke excused herself, dragging Monty along.

“Later Rivers.” She called over her shoulder and winked at Raven, who threw her napkin in the general direction of the blonde with a scowl on her face. “Fuck off Griffin.”

“Hey hey.” Anya soothed her partner and kissed her fondly on her cheek. “I’ll be back before you know it. No need to be jealous of her for spending time with me.”

“I’m not, I just don’t like her rubbing it into my face.”

“You’re so cute.”

“I’m not cute.” Raven sulked.

“Yes you are, pouty lips.”

“Excuse me I need to puke.” Octavia interrupted loudly and pushed to stand up. Anya ignored Octavia, who looked at her in disbelief, and continued with laughter lightly patting Raven’s head. “Look at my little trouty pouty fish face.” She cooed.

“Ok, I’m with you O. Let’s get outta here. My girlfriend has lost it.” Raven stood up as well, playfully pushing the blonde off of her, who laughed whole heartedly.

“Come here.” She managed between gasps of air and pulled her back. “Don’t go.” Anya pouted, wrapping her arms around the brunette.

“Look who’s the grumpy pants now?” Lexa piped up for the first time since Clarke had left.

Anya scowled at her. “I’m not grumpy.”

“Never mind.” Raven interrupted before the two could launch into another debate. “We have to go anyway. Prepping the plane.” She leaned down and pressed a soft kiss onto the blonde pilot’s lips.

“Be safe.” Anya whispered with a genuine smile against the soft mouth.

“You too. Talk to you later. Lexa? See you in a bit.” Lexa confirmed with a nod and a smile and Anya let go of her girlfriend’s hand, watching her leave with Octavia.

“It suits you.” The brunette grinned at her friend over a mug of coffee.

“Shut up.”

“Just saying. You guys fit together.”

“You know who else fits together?” Anya retorted with a wicked grin. When Lexa only eyed her suspiciously she went on. “Clarke and you.”

“Don’t you dare say anything to her tonight.” Lexa growled.

“Easy tiger. I’ll keep your secret, don’t you worry.”

“Well keep everything a secret.” Lexa pointedly stared at her.

“Ah, now where’s the fun in that?” Anya replied and checked the time. “Oh no…” She drawled. “I need to go.” She said in a mocking tone, making it obvious she wasn’t needed anywhere.

“Haha. Stay.” Lexa responded with an annoyed smile. The blonde pilot sat down again and watched her for another moment.

“What is it?” She asked, knowing the look on Lexa’s face.

“What if Raven and Octavia ask me things?”

“What things?”

“Things, things.”

“I don’t even know how to respond to that.” Anya laughed. “Use your words Lex.”

“Well, what if they ask me things about me? Or in relation to Clarke?”

“Such as?”

“I don’t know.” Lexa stalled, feeling like a teenager with a high school crush all over again. “If I like her?”

“Say ‘no’ and move on?”

Lexa only stared at her.

“Well what? Ok, I guess Octavia won’t ask you such things, but I know for a fact, that Raven would and probably will. Unless you want to confess your love, I suggest you learn to ‘white lie’ a little.”

“I’m not in love with her.”

“Yet.” Anya mumbled and grinned, knowing Lexa had heard her anyway. “Regardless.” She said after a heartbeat. “Why are you even worried about it? Are you planning to go out with them again?”

“Well we’ll arrive fairly early in the evening. I guess we might go out for dinner.” The brunette shrugged.

“You can always schedule a meeting and say you’re busy.” Anya offered.

“Wasn’t it you who suggested I need to loosen up in order to get to know my people?”

“Your people? Who are you? Commander of the grounders?” Anya joked. When Lexa silently requested further explanation, she clarified. “Grounders as in workers of Grounder Corporation?”

 “Right.” Lexa slowly dipped her head, with one eyebrow raised, focusing on her friend. “Whatever.” She continued annoyed after a moment. “You’re not helping.”

“And you’re overthinking.”

“Really?”

“Relax woman. They won’t grill you. And if they do pretend you have to place a phone call and leave.”

Lexa closed her eyes and contemplated the advice. She could do that. She was sure she wouldn’t even have to pretend, as Titus always had things to discuss. “You’re right. Thanks.”  She said and stood up, after checking her watch. “I have to go now… flight to Seattle.” She accompanied her words with a sweeping motion of her hand through the air as if it were a plane.

“Ok. Have a safe trip.”

“You too. See you soon.”

“You will. Call me if you have to.” She joked.

They exchanged one more look, before Lexa turned and left the canteen.

Anya stared at the retreating figure, shaking her head. “Kids nowadays.” She mumbled and finished her coffee.

# ***

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and welcome on board of Grounder Airline flight 204 to El Paso.” Clarke greeted the passengers on her last job for the day. “The flight will take approximately 1 hour and 50 minutes.”

This time Harper, Monty and Echo formed her cabin crew. She liked working with them, she really did, but after such a long day she only looked forward to getting out of her uniform and shoes and straight into bed.

After all passengers were seated, all announcements were done and they had the clearance for take-off she collapsed in her designated chair and closed her eyes. Without much stimulation her mind wandered to the green-eyed beauty and she wondered briefly what her friends were doing at the exact same moment, hoping they wouldn’t make it weird for Lexa.

# ***

Roughly 1100 miles further north, Octavia, Raven, Lexa and the rest of the crew enjoyed each other’s company in an Italian restaurant in the central terminal of the Seattle International Airport. After clearing the plane, they had decided to eat there, before travelling the two miles to their hotel.

“So Lexa.” Raven started, munching happily on a slice of pizza. Lexa’s fork filled with pasta hung awkwardly between the plate and her mouth upon hearing Raven address her.

“Yes?” She asked tentatively.

“Um, what have you done before you started working as a grounder?”

“I worked for other airlines.” She offered vaguely.

“Ok. Have you always wanted to be a pilot?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because.” Lexa answered, but knew she needed to elaborate. “My parents travelled a lot and therefore I grew up being often at airports. I guess it kinda stuck with me.” She finally divulged. “What about you?”

Raven looked at her grinning. “I’ve never wanted to be a pilot.”

“I meant-”

“I know.” The other brunette interrupted her laughingly. “I’ve also never wanted to become a juice pusher.”

Lexa winced at the demotion of the job. “Don’t say that. You’re not a juice pusher.”

“Well, according to many pilots you’re a minority if you think like that.” Octavia chimed into their conversation. “The overall opinion is that we are dumb and stupid.”

“I trust you with my life just as much as you trust me with yours.” The pilot answered.

“Yeah, thanks for saying that, but honestly, your colleagues haven’t gotten that memo.”

To say she was surprised such a rift existed within her employees, would be a lie, as she had been aware of the ‘god complex’ many pilots had, but it had always been her opinion that no one was more important in an airplane than the other. She knew perfectly well, she depended not only on the functionality of the machine and her co pilot, but also on the crew in the cabin to keep everything under control and everyone in place.

“I won’t accept that.” She pressed through her clenched jaw, adding this point to the mental itinerary. She would make sure that Grounder Airline was one team.

“Then you have some long and nasty fights ahead of you to change the archaic thinking of your colleagues.” Octavia concluded and they returned to their abandoned dishes moments later.

“Anyway, how do you like it so far?” Raven asked, once they had finished their dinner, sipping on their drinks.

“I like it a lot. Everyone is really giving and engaged on behalf of the company. It’s very new to me.” It was, she didn’t lie. Her former airlines had not been nearly as loved or appreciated by their employees as it seemed to be the case here.

“It’s a shame you’ll never meet the former owners, really.” Raven shook her head sadly.

“Why?” Lexa jumped upon the chance to learn more about what her parents had done to make sure these dedicated and loyal people had kept working for them.

“Well, the Woods’ always ensured our wellbeing. Besides paying reasonable and sometimes generous wages on time, they got us all a healthcare package as well as retirement funds. Mrs Woods always said that you shouldn’t focus on the future, but you’ve got to make sure, to have a future.” She paused to sip on her drink and Lexa realised one big thing about her parent’s way of leadership. They had seen everyone as their own child. She remembered a few occasions where her parents had said the same words to her.

“Sounds nice.” She managed past the lump in her throat.

“It was nice.” Octavia confirmed. “I always felt highly appreciated.”

“Yeah.” Raven agreed. “Remember when they would always make sure to stop by the airport whenever they were in town? Just to let us know they were here if we needed to talk to them personally.”

‘Wow’, Lexa thought, and another truth wormed itself into her brain. Her parents had appreciated their employees more than their only daughter. She had had to inquire the whereabouts of her parents on so many occasions and when she had needed them the most, they hadn’t been available, leaving it to her to pick up the pieces of her life, with only as much as a throw-away comment of contacting the family lawyer ‘before she did anything even more stupid.’ It left the young woman with a sour taste and she wished for the subject to change.

“Well, I’m sure the new owner will eventually step up their game.” Octavia concluded and Lexa nodded, realising she needed to act soon, to make sure, her employees felt appreciated.

“Speaking of game.” Raven smiled, pulling Lexa back from her thoughts. “What do think about Clarke?”

And here came the change of topic Lexa had worried over for the majority of her afternoon.

“What has game to do with her?” She asked, avoiding an answer.

“Why are you deflecting?”

“Why do you even ask?”

Raven and Lexa watched each other carefully, both searching for an indication on how to proceed with the conversation.

“Ok, Lexa.” Octavia interfered after a moment glaring at her friend. “Raven and I are a little worried about Clarke. What we would like to know are your intentions with her.” Lexa stared at the two with wide eyes. Had she been that obvious? Did Clarke know of her slight infatuation with her? “Wow.” She breathed out slowly, sorting her thoughts. “I wasn’t aware I have sent out anything that implied I had intentions with her to start with, considering the short amount of time I’ve known her.” She deflected and took a huge gulp of her water.

“You should watch your eyes more carefully.”

Lexa’s only response was an immature eye roll at Octavia for pointing that out. Her eyes always betrayed her. Always. Stupid eyes.

“Ok, listen. Clarke has been in a really shitty relationship. All we’re asking you is to not play any games with her.”

“I don’t know what you guys want to hear, but I think I can promise I’m not intending to play anything with Clarke.”

# ***

The plane touched the tarmac smoothly and Clarke thanked Anya and the co-pilot via the cabin announcement. It was almost midnight when they finished clearing the plane and the crew exhaustingly stumbled through the airport towards the exit.

“How was the flight for you?” Anya sidled up to Clarke, who smiled at her.

“You did an excellent job and the passengers were ok.”

They walked the rest of the way occupied in small talk. When they finally reached the hotel, the crew retreated to their rooms, leaving the two alone in the empty entrance hall.

“You fancy a nightcap?” Anya asked pointing to the bar to their left.

“Sure.”

Their drinks were water and orange juice as they felt too tired to handle alcohol besides the regulations.

“So.” Anya broke the silence which had engulfed them. “How are you doing in general?”

“What do you mean?” Clarke eyed her suspiciously. “I’m sure Ray keeps you updated.”

“True, but it’s nice to talk to you personally.” Ever since her discovery of Niylah cheating on Clarke, Anya felt a high level of protectiveness for the blonde. She had witnessed first-hand how devastated Clarke had been.

“What do you want to know?” The blonde was too tired to try and guess what the other wanted to hear.

“I’ve heard about your run in with Niylah.”

Clarke opened her mouth to reply something along the lines of ‘none of your business’, but upon seeing the genuine concern in her best friend’s girlfriend’s eyes she only shook her head. “It was awful to be honest.”

“What did she want?”

“Time to talk, which is not a bad thing I agree, but the way she instantly made me feel again…” Clarke’s eyes glossed over and she remembered all the times Niylah had made her feel as dumb as the saying about blondes goes.

“Hey.” Anya gently put her hand over Clarke’s and stirred her out of her reverie.

“Sorry.” She mumbled. “She just makes me feel so stupid.”

“She’s an asshole.”

Clarke laughed out loud at the comment. “Indeed. Thank god Lexa interfered.” It was a throw-away comment and Anya knew that, but it made her smile that the blonde thought about Lexa even when she had been mentally captivated by her past merely seconds ago.

“Yeah, how did that go?” The pilot asked curiously.

“She just stepped up to us and requested Niylah take her hands off of me.”

“That’s surprising.”

“How come?”

“Lexa is not a confrontational person. Like never. She’s always avoided them like the plaque.”

Clarke furrowed her brow at the information. “Why do you think she did?”

“Must be something about you.” Anya smiled softly. “Or, maybe she has been reminded of something.”

“What do you mean?”

Anya looked at her intensely for a moment before shaking her head. “It’s not my story to tell.”

“Ok.” Clarke whispered and added after a moment. “She told me about her parent’s accident.”

“She did?” Anya was more than surprised at the news. What else had Lexa told the blonde?

“Yes, I’m so sorry for her. It’s horrible to lose one parent, but both at the same time…”

“Lexa is a strong person. She’ll cope, I know her.”

“I figured. I don’t know why…” Clarke laughed bashfully. “I shouldn’t care about her as much.”

Anya just looked at her with a small grin. “You like her?”

Clarke avoided her gaze for a second, a blush creeping up her cheeks. “I feel connected to her.” She finally settled on and Anya only acknowledged the statement with a nod.

# ***

At the same time, now 1800 miles further north, Lexa learned more about the friendship dynamic between the ‘three musketeers’. She was glad the blonde had such great friends in her life, who watched out for her, but the pilot had the feeling Clarke knew how to deal with what life presented her just as well on her own. She remembered their short conversation in the club, when she had learned that she had lost her father fairly early in life. Lexa felt closer to her than she probably should after knowing her only for a few days, but the connection was so intense that it was ridiculous to deny its existence.

However, at the end of their impromptu hang out at the Seattle airport, Lexa knew for certain, that Anya’s words about the fragile state of Clarke were true and Lexa swore to herself to be even more careful around her, for her sake as well as Clarke’s.

 

 

_“And then my soul saw you and it kind of went ‘Oh there you are. I’ve been looking for you.’”_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaah... soulmates. Question is... will they be friends, lovers or enemies?  
> Clarke still doesn't know Lexa's true identity. How will she react if she finds out? Well stay tuned to read for yourself.
> 
> Thanks to all your kind reviews, kudos etc. Everything is so so so appreciated. 
> 
> Big thanks to my love. Apparently I lost my grammar skills. She fixed it.
> 
> See you soon. Hopefully.  
> Cheers and stay safe.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there,
> 
> without repeating myself in case you read my other story 'Let Your Dreams Set Sail', I'm sorry for making you wait.
> 
> We ended with Clarke and Anya in El Paso and Lexa, Octavia and Raven in Seattle exchanging some interesting facts about the other.  
> Let's get on with it, shall we?

 

* * *

She squirmed and twisted her body unable to shake off the unwanted images and painful memories.

_Cold brown eyes stared deeply into hers, and a devastatingly horrid smile spread over the face she had once loved with her whole being. She still loved her, although her heart was breaking wide open at the same time, bleeding out her feelings and emotions._

_“Why?” She whispered, certain her voice would crack if she attempted to use it. “Why did you do that?”_

_“Would it be too harsh if I said, because I could?” An eerily cold voice replied._

_She blinked at the revelation. “I don’t understand.” She tried again to make sense of the information in the document in front of her._

_“Well, shall I give you more time to read it over?” The other woman sneered._

_“I know what you did. I don’t understand how you could!” She explained herself, with slight frustration in her voice._

_“Ooooh, well well well, feisty now, aren’t we?” The grin was evident in the tone of the other woman’s voice even without her looking up for confirmation._

_“Just tell me why.” She finally stood up, tears pooling in her eyes. “Why would you do that?”_

_“It was so easy. I could not pass up the opportunity.”_

_She nodded. She knew it. She shouldn’t have trusted anyone with anything. Before she could react, the cold arrogant woman spoke up once more. “So?” She stepped closer to Lexa. “What will it be baby girl?”_

_She looked up hearing the nickname she hadn’t heard in a while. “Don’t you dare call me that!” She growled through her clenched jaw. They looked at each other. One detached from the whole ordeal and the other breaking down due to the situation. “What are my options?” She finally asked, defeated._

_“That’s a question I like to answer.” She smiled. “One million and I’ll sign a confidentiality contract.” Arms crossing over her chest, the woman wallowing in her victory._

_She watched her for a moment, before voicing her fear. “How can I trust you once I’ve paid you?”_

_“Guess you have no other choice.” She laughed, and it felt like a bullet entering Lexa's heart, slashing the muscle into tiny pieces. She felt her body trembling and had to lean against the desk for support, eyes fixed on her black desktop screen. Her very own embodied nightmare stepped once again closer to her, leaning over and whispered. “Oh and Lexa? Make sure the money is untraceable. Wouldn’t want the world to know who you really are, would we?” Another laugh filled the silence and the sound cut through her eardrums and she pressed her hands against them trying to muffle down the chimes of hatred._

Lexa woke up startled, feeling nauseous and disorientated. Her ears were still ringing and she felt the coldness slowly leaving her body the more conscious she became.

“Fuck you Costia.” She growled and threw herself back on her pillow. She had the same dream on repeat for a very long time now. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a nightmare but a twisted up memory, and she couldn’t shift the feelings it brought along. She felt stupid for trusting someone. She felt incredibly dumb for believing in love. All it had ever given her had been a broken soul and her own personal bankruptcy. Her parents had declined to help her, as they had had their own issues understanding why she had wanted her identity kept secret. In order to get the woman, who Lexa believed was the love of her life, off her back, she had had to silence her with her own money.

Lexa stood up and walked over to the window overlooking Seattle at dawn. The sun was slowly crawling over the horizon, spilling soft orange rays into empty streets, casting long shadows. She shook her head, when it dawned on her that fate had chosen to force her to reveal her identity anyway, being the solemn owner of Grounder Corporation.

She’d never wanted people to know, as she’d learned very young that money brings you all sorts of people but not friends. She had seen with her own eyes and had heard with her own ears about people her father or mother had thought highly of, disappointing them in the end. Little Lexa had truly believed, that she would only find happiness if she kept her background hidden. Her life theme had been ‘When no one knows who I am, and they still spend time with me, they only do so because they like me for me and nothing else.’ Small Lexa had been naïve to think she could erase her true self and create someone else. It worked well until tiny Lexa wasn’t tiny anymore and discovered her undying love for the daughter of the ‘Corner Bookstore’ back in her hometown. Not so small Lexa had been reluctant to keep her secrets, but Costia had had her way of coaxing them out, quite literally. Lexa had told her everything and even taken her to meet her parents. They’d spent four long years together. Years of travelling, years of love making all over the world until Costia had decided one day Lexa hadn’t been what she had needed in her life. All she had wanted had been the money she had come along with.

The brunette sighed loudly. She knew, even back then, it would haunt her till the end of the day of her unknown identity, and she had been right. She stepped back from her observation point and looked at her phone. It was only quarter past seven and she could have slept another hour, but there was no way she would find rest after her sudden, forceful wakeup.

After a long shower, she slowly put on her uniform and grabbed her warm jacket from behind the door before leaving her room, walking downstairs. She stored her bag at the reception and walked out of the hotel. Lexa had no idea where to go, she had never been to the city, but anything was better than being on her own. This way she could get sucked into the energy of a city in the morning rush hour, still lonely but not alone. It helped to settle her mind on other things. Things she needed doing. After 20 minutes of walking aimlessly she dialled Titus’ number and got lost in her duties.

# ***

Clarke met with Anya and the rest of the crew to travel back to the airport the next morning.

“Slept ok?”

“Yeah, you?”

They exchanged more pleasantries and joked around, before stepping into the terminal.

“Anya? Can I ask you something?” Clarke stopped her from entering the meeting room.

“Yeah sure.”

“How long have you known Lexa?”

“A while. Why?”

“Have you met her parents?” Anya looked at the blonde with her mouth tightly shut, watching emotions flickering over the blue eyes. She was wondering what Clarke was trying to find out, but ultimately decided to go with the truth.

“Yes, lovely couple.”

“How was her relationship with them?” Clarke chewed on her bottom lip.

“No offense, but why are you asking?” Anya narrowed her eyes suspiciously. ‘Had the blonde found out?’

“I don’t know. I just got the feeling she wasn’t very close to them. It makes me sad I guess.”

“She had been as close as possible with everyone being constantly somewhere else.”

Clarke only nodded upon hearing Anya’s statement, watching with interest the lines on the floor. She didn’t hear the slight irritation in the pilot’s voice and didn’t witness the quick look of fear for having revealed more than she should have. By the time Clarke looked up again, Anya wore an expression of sympathy on her face. “Why are you asking me?” She repeated.

Clarke smiled shyly. “Because you’re here and her friend?”

“If you want to get to know her, you should ask her these questions and not me.” Anya said, but thought, ‘Just ask her the right questions.’

“I know. I just don’t want to impose.” Clarke said quietly.

“You won’t.” Anya smiled broadly now. “You didn’t hear it from me, but Lexa’s as intrigued by you as you are by her.” The pilot winked and finally gestured for them to enter the room as well. With a small smile on her face Clarke sat down and pushed the brunette out of her mind to be professional.

# ***

Lexa came back to the hotel just in time to see the rest of the crew walking into the reception hall.

“Good morning.” Lexa greeted them with a smile.

“Where have you been?” Raven asked promptly upon seeing the reddened cheeks and wind- tousled hair.

“For a walk.” The pilot shrugged off and went to receive her luggage.

Raven followed her with her eyes. “That’s weird. It’s not even 8:30 and she’s been out and about?”

“Whatever. Stop snooping around Ray.” Octavia whispered when Lexa was back.

They arrived at the airport within ten minutes and immediately started with the preparations. The flight took off without trouble and went smoothly. Once they had landed again in Los Angeles the brunette pilot left the airport as quickly as possible.

“Where did Lexa run off to now?” Octavia and Raven left the plane and walked straight up to the next stall selling coffee.

“Ray, stop being so nosy.”

“Octavia, I tell you, my left pinkie tells me something is off with her.” Raven pointed to a table nearby whilst ordering coffee for them.

“Your toe has been more wrong in the last years than right. Shut up and let it be.” Octavia sighed after she had sat down.

“Let what be?” Clarke fell into the chair next to her, reaching for Raven’s coffee when the other brunette had joined them.

“Hey that’s mine! Why are you always stealing my coffee?” She exclaimed with a winy voice.

“Octavia’s has no sugar in it.” Clarke pouted.

“Rightly so. Sugar in coffee is a crime.” The petite brunette huffed out, moaning after taking a sip of her black drink. “Mmmm, so good.”

“Get your own.” Raven slapped the hand reaching once more for her Styrofoam cup.

“Ok.” Clarke sighed loudly and stood up. When she came back a few minutes later, she picked up her earlier question. “So, what’s going on?”

“Huh?”

“Your extremities are talking to you?” Clarke reminded her.

“Oh that?” Raven quickly exchanged glances with Octavia, who subtly shook her head. “Well, I was just saying that I think it’s going to rain later.”

Clarke’s gaze flitted from one to her other friend pondering if she should dig deeper, but ultimately felt too exhausted to do so.

“If you say so.” She said instead. “I can’t wait for Christmas. I need a day off.”

“Are we still scheduled off together?”

“As far as I know. The Woods never made us fly on the 25th.”

“True, but does the new owner know that?”

# ***

As soon as Lexa had arrived in her office she had buried herself in work. Titus had sent over a few documents needing her signature and she studied them thoroughly as not to miss anything.

“Ms Woods?” Her secretary knocked.

“Yes?” Lexa looked up from her desk.

“Ms Izard told me to tell you to finalise the Christmas cards, otherwise they won’t be out on time.”

“Oh sh… right.” She stopped herself from swearing. “I’m on it. When do you need the text?”

“Latest in one hour.”

Lexa nodded. “Anything else?”

“I have the quotes for the party venues. Do you have time to look at them?”

“Not now, but leave them and I’ll do it later. Thank you for inquiring Maya.”

The young woman looked up in surprise at the gratitude and smiled. “Of course Ms Woods.” She put down the folder where Lexa had pointed to and stepped back out of the office.

“Ok… let’s be generous and praise the staff.” Lexa whispered to herself and opened a document on her computer. It took her roughly half an hour, before she sent an email to Maya.

She then took the folder and scanned through the possibilities for the annual Grounder Airline meeting. They all looked fairly decent, but differed significantly in their rent.

She liked the first option as they offered an in house catering service which had really positive feedback, but it looked more like an old plant hall than a venue. Lexa scrunched up her face in dislike.

“No no, we need to be stylish and modern.” She said to no one in particular.

The second place Nia had listed, was a spacious room with a wooden floor, brick walls and high ceiling. Lexa liked the natural light flooding the room.

“Now that’s to my liking.” She exclaimed happily and studied the price for one night. She didn’t even look into the third possibility as she had been there before and immediately decided against it. After another moment she had made up her mind and picked up the phone receiver.

“Nia? Do you have a minute?” She summoned her assistant over.

“Of course.” Without warning the line went dead. When the blonde woman entered her office Lexa leaned back and gestured to the chair opposite hers. “Maya gave me the quotes for the venues.” She started.

“Good. Have you decided?” Nia asked with a strained voice.

“Yes.” Lexa reached over and handed her the quotes back. “The Greatest Place.”

“Good choice.” Nia nodded and a small smile played at her lips. “Anything else?”

“I have been informed that my parents promised a bonus for everyone who had been picking up additional flights to cover the expanding flight plan. Has that been looked at?”

“I’m sure.”

“Good.” Lexa leaned back in her chair, studying the woman in front of her. Maybe her parents valued her for her efficiency? She should try to get along with her. “The cards should be printing as we speak.” She offered.

“Oh? You haven’t sent me the text.” Nia raised an eyebrow.

“I’ve given it to Maya directly to send it on.” Lexa smiled genuinely. “No need to bother you with that.”

“Right, well your parents have always included me in such things.” Nia sat up straighter, a scowl taking hostage of her face.

“I hadn’t been made aware they’d asked for your approval.” Lexa replied slightly irritated.

“Not approval, just ‘three brains, six eyes advantage’.” The older woman shrugged.

Lexa eyed her warily. “Well, I’m not my parents.” She eventually stated with a glare.

“I’ve noticed.” Nia snapped.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lexa countered, standing up.

“Nothing. Do you have anything else you don’t want to talk about?” The blonde said standing also.

Lexa looked at her with an illegible mask. “I want you to book the place.”

“Done.” Nia said and left the office.

# ***

Clarke had been awfully busy with her work and her representational duties. In her meagre spare time, she had gone Christmas shopping with either Raven or Octavia, whoever had been around or needed her. Despite her demanding schedule her mind had always found time to travel to the brunette pilot she knew next to nothing about, but had desperately wanted to change the fact. She just didn’t know how. So she kept quiet, re-reading the only text she had received of Lexa. She had debated with herself numerous times whether to send another message or not. At the end of each debate she had thrown her phone onto her bed not wanting to invade the other woman’s privacy. It did nothing to her curiosity and that nagging feeling of missing her.

A few more days passed by before Lexa had another flight with the blonde who wouldn’t get out of her mind. She hadn’t had any contact, as she hadn’t known how to break the ice. Lexa had found herself staring at her phone at night alone in her hotel room, but nothing would come to her mind to spark a conversation. She was acutely aware of the feeling inside of her, but couldn’t do anything about it. She missed Clarke.

All the more, Lexa smiled when she finally saw her again, walking down the hall towards the gangway and talking with an agitated voice on the phone. The flight attendant had her hair down this morning, her uniform pressed neatly and form fitting and slight makeup accentuated her natural attractiveness, and Lexa sighed to herself, before the blonde was within earshot.

“No Ray I haven’t seen it yet. I’m running late for my flight to Boston.” When she saw Lexa waiting she smiled at her apologetically and rolled her eyes mouthing “Drama alarm.” Lexa grinned at that, wondering who of Clarke’s friends was acting up.

“I can’t talk to them at the moment. I’m literally at the plane and boarding is soon. If you think it’s not just a copy paste mistake, call the boss?” She huffed, pulling her little trolley into the plane.

At that Lexa’s grin vanished and her forehead scrunched up with deep wrinkles. ‘What the hell?’

“Yes Ray, I mean the actual boss.” Clarke sighed heavily, she was already exhausted and it was only half past six in the morning. She kept quiet for a moment, listening to her friend, before she spoke up again. “Yeah you’re probably right. Call Ms Izard then and ask her. Let me know what’s going on.” She hung up and smiled a strained smile at Lexa who looked at her quizzically.

“Oh that.” Clarke gestured to her phone. “Raven said she had received the work plan and apparently Grounder Airline is now flying on Christmas Day and we’re all scheduled to work.” Clarke explained.

“You sound like this is news to you.” Lexa offered tentatively. She remembered signing the rota just the other day, thinking it had been a mistake that the day had been off for everyone. In her books it had seemed stupid to miss out on the money they could make.

“Well, we’ve never flown on Christmas day. Mrs Woods once said everyone deserved Christmas with their family.” Clarke shrugged. “Guess the new owner doesn’t bother with family and focuses on profit.” She pushed past Lexa and stored her luggage in its designated overhead bin.

“What do you mean?” Lexa followed her with a sinking feeling in her belly.

“Exactly what I said. I’ve been working for Grounder for seven years now and I’ve never worked on Christmas day.” Clarke closed the latch and straightened her uniform, before slowly walking down the isle checking the first class. Lexa didn’t follow her further into the cabin, but stood rooted to the ground. If Grounder Airline had never flown on Christmas Day, why hadn’t her parents been home? Where had they spent Christmas? Lexa blinked a couple of times. She couldn’t, for the sake of it, remember her last Christmas with her family.

“Lexa? Are you ok?” Clarke stepped carefully up to the pilot who stood in the middle of the plane her face sporting confusion and hurt.

Upon hearing Clarke’s voice full of concern, Lexa snapped out of her painful realisation and locked eyes with the blonde. She slowly started nodding. “Yeah, I am. Sorry…” She mumbled turning to leave. “I need to do… something.” Lexa practically ran off the plane and up the gangway.

“Lexa?” Clarke called after her. “Lexa? What’s wrong?” Clarke still stared at where the brunette had disappeared when Monty came to the front of the plane.

“Clarke? I need you to check the provisions for this flight. I don’t think we have enough.”

Clarke blinked a few times, before facing her colleague. “Yeah ok.”

# ***

Anya didn’t understand what Lexa was saying between harsh breaths and stammered words.

“Where the hell are you?”

“Restroom at terminal 3, vis-à-vis the passenger screening.” Lexa pressed out.

“Stay there. I’m on my way.” She replied before quickly walking down the hall of terminal two, cursing the architects for not building a corner cutting connection between the two building arms as they had done with the other terminals. She made her way through the staff security gate and went straight into the women’s stalls to find Lexa crouched on the lid of a toilet.

“Oh Lex. What’s happened?” She lowered herself down to be on eye level with her friend.

“I…” Lexa stammered, breathing slowly in and out, before trying again. “I...” She shook her head.

“Hey. Calm down.” Anya pulled her up and led her over to the basin and turned on the water. Lexa let the coldness wash over her heated skin, calming her overactive brain in the process.

“Clarke…” She started again, but was interrupted.

“Oh god, has she found out?”

“What?” They exchanged a confused glance before Lexa shook her head and picked up the conversation. “Clarke told me about Christmas Day. I didn’t know you guys were always off on that day.” Anya nodded while Lexa continued. “Do you want to know why I didn’t know it had always been a company holiday?” She grimaced at the breaking of voice.

“Why?” Anya managed, feeling the sadness for Lexa’s situation washing over her.

“Because my parents have never been home for fucking Christmas as long as I can remember. I’ve spent that day with nannies or butlers but never with my parents, thinking they had to work.” The brunette spat out in hurt.

“Where were they?” Anya asked in a calm voice.

“I don’t know.” Lexa spluttered and shook her head. “You know, I think it was my fault.”

“What?”

“With me wanting to remain a secret, they must have thought, I didn’t want to be their daughter.” Lexa explained quietly, painfully aware of the heaviness of her words.

“You’re not guilty of anything Lexa. Your parents had decided to not come home for the holidays to their only daughter. If they had thought for a minute you wouldn’t have wanted to be a Woods they wouldn’t have given you the company.” Anya tried to reason.

“No Anya. You didn’t know them like I did.”

“Probably, but I’m sure they loved you and understood the reasons for your secrecy.”

“No they never have. I had to deal with the whole disaster on my own. They’ve never helped me or given me any advice on how to deal with Costia. They only told me to call the family lawyer and learn from it.” Lexa slumped against the basin. Anya stepped closer to her, rubbing her hands along the brunette’s arms in a soothing manor.

“Maybe they just didn’t know why?”

“Maybe.” Lexa agreed slowly nodding along. “I won’t be able to change that anymore.” She sighed heavily. “Also, why haven’t you told me about Christmas? I’m sure you’ve gotten the shift plan earlier than anyone else.”

“I haven’t checked thinking it’s like always. I’m really sorry. Can you not undo it?”

Lexa looked at her friend as if she had grown two heads. “Undo it?” She repeated unbelievably. “I can’t just reverse the decision. Flights are already sold for the day, and quite crazily if I remember the sales numbers. Not surprising if we’ve never flown on that day. People were probably delighted to get last minute flights with Grounder ”

“Right. Am I flying as well?” Anya leaned against the tiled wall, arms crossed in front of her.

Lexa looked sheepishly and nodded.

“What’s that look for? Spit it out? Am I flying to some asshat lame city with one runway and no internet?” Anya scolded her, hands on her hips.

“Actually I -” Lexa was interrupted by her mobile ringing. “Yeah?” She answered quickly. After another moment she hurriedly glanced at her watch and replied she’d be there in a minute. “I have to go. Flight’s ready for boarding.” She explained checking her appearance once more in the mirror. “I’m in Boston from 4ish on. Can we talk later?”

“Sure. Go.” Anya ushered her out of the restroom and turned back to her terminal.

When Lexa came running down the bridge she was stopped by a laughing Clarke.

“Easy there tiger, we don’t want you breaking anything.”

She slowed and marvelled at the beauty in front of her. Clarke’s smile morphed into a concerned look. “Are you ok?”

“Sorry because of earlier. I had to… you know.” Lexa answered vaguely and the blonde nodded, not really understanding a word, but time wasn’t what they had to waste at the moment. Lexa stepped into the cockpit and greeted her co-pilot before she glanced over her shoulder watching Clarke watching her. She waited with her trademark half grin for the blonde’s attention, and when crystal blue eyes met hers she couldn’t help feeling breathless and overwhelmed.

“Have a good flight Ms Griffin.” She said after another moment.

“You too Ms Hayes. Let me know if you need anything.” Clarke answered and closed the door to the cockpit before contacting the gate to initiate the boarding.

# ***

Lexa had always found cross country flights uneventful and boring, but with Clarke’s entertainment talent the pilot found herself listening to the cabin announcements more often within the five and a half hours of their flight than ever before. If her co-pilot had found this weird, she hadn’t said anything. They had exchanged pleasantries before take-off and stayed professional without revealing anything private. Clarke had joked again hoping to be on the ‘Polar Express’ and Lexa had laughed.

They were way into their journey when Lexa called the cabin.

“Yes?” Clarke sounded a little out of breath.

“Are you busy?” The pilot asked politely recognising the voice immediately.

“Um, not sure you’ve realised, holed up in the front playing with your joystick, but there are about 150 passengers as well on that plane who want to be fed and pampered?”

“Right.” Lexa grinned. “Joystick?”

“Well whatever you call that thing you use to steer the monster.” Clarke grinned as well, gesturing to her colleague to start serving the first class.

“Mmm, if you fancy I’ll explain it to you.” Lexa offered. Without knowing Clarke had managed to lift the heaviness of off Lexa’s shoulders. The blonde turned around to the camera above the cockpit door and smiled.

“I might take you up on that.” Clarke answered still looking up when she felt a hand at her arm pulling her back to reality. “I’ve gotta go. Was there anything you wanted?” She asked.

Lexa bit her lip for a moment, watching Clarke on the monitor, before answering. “If you have time can we get some coffee?” Lexa asked quickly when she realised the co-pilot was looking at her.

“Of course Captain Hayes.” The blonde answered professionally and finally went back to help her crew. Thirty minutes later they heard a knock and Lexa opened the door and took the cups out of Clarke’s hands with a smirk “Thank you.” She said and handed the second cup to the other pilot her eyes never leaving the head of cabin.

Boston in wintertime was a thing in itself. It was a few minutes to four in the afternoon and the sun had already started setting, plunging the deep gorges made by skyscrapers into darkness, but stretches of untouched snow brightened the atmosphere. Streetlights illuminated the scenery giving the city an oddly serene appearance like stars twinkling on the white-clouded night sky.

Lexa landed the plane smoothly and the passengers left happily into the vastness of the airport.

When the last one had disembarked, the pilots stepped out of the cockpit and scanned the plane, before the crew left for the day leaving a blonde and a brunette behind. Clarke had been busy with checking the duty free stock, noting the missing items and counting the money, and had waved off her colleagues who had offered to help.

“So…” Lexa stepped up to her and leaned against the parked trolleys.

“So…” Clarke imitated her and grinned brightly.

“Still interested in a little lesson?” Upon seeing one eyebrow shooting up onto the blonde’s forehead she laughed out shortly. “Cockpit tour?”

“Oh, you wanna do that now?” Clarke stood up from her crouched position.

“Why not? Unless you have to be somewhere?” Lexa’s face fell a little at the idea of Clarke not having time.

“No I don’t. All yours.” She winked and Lexa felt a blush creeping up her neck upon Clarke’s words. She opened the cockpit door and held it for the blonde to step through, before Lexa gestured for Clarke to sit down in the chair the pilot had occupied earlier.

“Wow. This is quite overwhelming.” Clarke whistled appreciatively at the control board. “Stupid question, but do you know what all these switches and buttons do?” She asked interested.

“No, I usually go by trial and error.” Lexa deadpanned.

“I knew it was a stupid question. Well see, you’re talking to a trolley dolly…”

“What? No it was meant as a joke and what’s this bullshit about dissing your job? Raven and Octavia had already said things. I won’t stand for it.”

“Stand for…? Why would you? You’re not the poster child for Grounder Airline, are you?”

Lexa looked at her with wide eyes. ‘Damnit.’ She opened her mouth but Clarke beat her to it.

“I mean you would tell me if the new owner had decided to use you for the advertisements, right?” Clarke wouldn’t have been surprised if the pilot had confirmed her suspicion. She found her utterly stunning.

“Yeah. No it’s not like that. I meant it as in I wouldn’t accept any of you badmouthing yourselves.” Lexa explained with a soft smile.

“Ok.” Clarke scrunched up her nose and shrugged at that. “You’re probably one in a million Lexa. You wanna know the difference between God and a pilot?” She paused for the effect and continued when Lexa grinned. “God doesn’t think he’s a pilot.”

“Nice. Thanks.”

“You're welcome." Clarke smirked and gestured to the display in front of her. “Soooo... explain, plane yoda.”

“Sure.” She pointed to the ceiling. “Overhead panel with the on and off switch.”

Clarke put her head back and studied the vast amount of light switches and buttons, before pointing to a random one. “What’s that for?” She looked back at Lexa who wore a half smile and angled herself to see which one was meant.

“That one?” Clarke nodded. “It’s part of the hydraulic system.” She explained.

“And that one?”

“Main tank pump.”

Clarke nodded and lowered her head back down eyeing the various displays in front of her.

“Ok from left to right?” Lexa spoke up again without being prompted. “Flight path control. Navigation display. Altitude and Airspeed display. Primary engine display. Landing gear. And this thing between your legs?” Clarke grinned at her now and Lexa’s half smile turned into a smirk. “It makes the plane go up, come down and go all around.”

“Ok. Seems you do know what you’re doing.” Clarke conceded.

“Well if not, the whole panel up there…” She pointed straight ahead to the front. “… Is the so called Mode Control Panel and activates the auto pilot.”

“So technically I was right thinking you’re only a figurine and the plane flies on its own?” Clarke teased and tried to get up from the seat.

“Mm.” Lexa held out her hand to help her up, and the blonde came to stand mere millimetres away from her. The pilot gulped, unable to control her glance falling on red tinted lips. Clarke saw the movement and licked them appreciatively. She had wanted to be closer to Lexa since they had spent time together in Honolulu. She had admired the voluptuous mouth and had wondered more than once how it might feel against her own. Neither moved to close the distance between them, but they were still holding hands and an electrifying current of energy pulsed from one to the other. Blue eyes searched for green and when they found each other they smiled, acknowledging the chemistry between them. They stood like that for another moment, before Lexa lost her nerves, chastising herself for feeling something, and stepped back, letting Clarke’s hand fall out of her grasp.

“Mm, we probably should leave the plane.” She rasped out, voice laced with emotions she was unable to bury after the intense connection.

“I guess you’re right. Cleaning staff are probably waiting.” Clarke agreed and cradled the hand Lexa had held to her chest.

They hadn’t stepped of the plane yet before the aforementioned crew entered and both women sighed, relieved they hadn’t gone any further, knowing for sure they would have been disturbed.

“What are you doing until tomorrow?” Clarke asked once they stepped out of the airport into the cold winter night.

“I’ve got to go meet up with a…” Lexa looked to her left and spotted Titus walking towards her. “A friend.” She quickly sent a glare towards the bald man who stopped and waited.

“Oh ok.” Clarke nodded. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She smiled; a smile Lexa felt tugging at her heart, and she opened her mouth before filtering her words.

“If you want we can meet up later and watch the ‘Polar Express’?”

“Really?”

“You keep wishing the plane would take you to the North Pole. Least I can do.” Lexa shrugged with a tiny smile, trying to avoid the invading thought of being weak.

“Ok. I’ll get dinner then. Pizza ok?”

“Very.” She smiled.

“I’ll text you my room number? When will you be back at the hotel?”

“I guess around eight.” Lexa said after a moment, going through her appointments.

“Ok.” Clarke scrunched up her nose again. “I better get going. It’s cold.”

“See you later Clarke.” Lexa stepped away and waved once more, before turning around and walking toward Titus.

“Ms Woods.” He greeted but grimaced as he witnessed Lexa’s famous glare. “I mean Lexa. How was your flight?”

“Good thank you. Please take me as quickly as possible to my office. I’ve got to be somewhere at eight.”

# ***

 **Clarke Griffin (17:45):** **_My room number is 214. I’ve found the movie on Netflix. Hurry up or I’m visiting Santa without you._**

# ***

**Anya Rivers (19:10): _Still waiting for you to tell me how I’m spending my Christmas this year. Call me woman!_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby steps folks baby steps! Let's see how the evening progresses...
> 
> Can't promise an update but I'll try for soonish.  
> Let me know what you think. Kudos, comments - anything. Or message me on tumblr (Jaansche)
> 
> Cheers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I have been on vacation and then life just interfered. I don't know how quickly I can update as I'm awfully busy at work but I try my best. However please know I'll finish the story 100 %. Rest assured. Now, hopefully you enjoy the new chapter. Here it comes.

* * *

 

As soon as Lexa had arrived at the headquarters the meetings had started and she’d spent all afternoon confined in a glass cube with rotating conversational partners.

The only constant one had been Titus.

Lexa glanced at her watch and sighed loudly, a headache forming and tiredness seeping into every cell of her body. It had been four hours and she questioned her life choices at the incapability of people to decide the smallest things. She had been asked questions regarding the menu and had been forced to pick a new toilet paper out of a stock of not less than five different types. She had wondered for a moment if there had been a hidden camera filming the exchange between her and her facility management sniffing loo rolls and testing the trueness of the stated ripping factor. She’d felt utterly bored.

The only time she had been interested had been when she could discuss the new brand logo for Grounder Airline. Since she had had no saying in the old one, she was adamant to redesign and modernise it. However, this had been a short meeting. In fact, the shortest as the designer had listened to all her wishes and created an almost perfect new sign. Lexa wasn’t surprised; the designer had been a woman. She grinned at her inner monologue. If not for the alarmingly high number of male employees, curtsey of the old-fashioned thinking of her father, Lexa could be accused of favouring females in general and not only in her private life. In her own little world, Lexa would replace every non - or bad performing man with a woman, but such decisions weighted heavily and needed to be thought through properly. Equality was a beautiful thing as long as it went both ways. Lexa knew from her vast experiences in a man’s world how outraged and offended men react when they felt unequally treated. She wished women were a bit more vocal and louder at the unfair treatment.

Lexa exhaled again for the millionth time, finally gaining the attention of the bald man next to her.

“Ms Woods?”

Lexa didn’t know if he was just stupid or ignorant to her request, but she had had enough. “How often do I have to remind you to call me Lexa?” She growled annoyed.

“I’m sorry. I just feel it’s disrespectful considering your status.” He explained calmly.

“My status? As in ‘your boss’ or as in ‘a Woods’?”

He didn’t need to answer for Lexa to know, he only respected her for her name and the history of having been working with her parents. “Scratch that. I’m your boss and I have no qualms replacing you, if you ignore me.”

“I don’t ignore you, I’m merely having difficulties to address you in such a familiar way.” He finally showed some irritation at Lexa’s threat.

“Well, it’s Lexa if you fancy keeping your position.” She hissed under her breath.

“With all due respect, this is not an acceptable reason for firing me.” He blanched at her.

Lexa glared at him with fire in her eyes. The ridiculousness of their argument hadn’t been lost on the CEO, but the day had been awful. She had been reminded of her lack of knowing her parents and how they’d processed things in every talk and every meeting. She felt so low, unloved and unimportant at the moment; she couldn’t care less if she was being absurd. She just wanted to be Lexa, the new CEO who did things her way.

“Your parents were quite right. You are very intense.” A voice interrupted their faceoff and Lexa quickly turned to the sound.

“Indra?” She asked incredulously.

“The one and only, dear.”

Lexa’s glare morphed into a wide smile when she got up and walked over to the woman. “How long has it been?”

“Too long.” The woman replied and hugged the younger one tightly. “My deepest sympathy for your loss darling.” She said quietly into Lexa’s ear, not wanting to entertain the audience they had.

“It’s ok.” Lexa breathed out, pushing any emotions out of their interaction. “How have you been?”

Indra looked at her for another moment, before nodding once and stepping out of the hug. “I’ve been well. Thanks. How are you holding up?”

“Well…” She drawled the word and sighed. “I had my downs I’m waiting for the ups.” Lexa smiled, aware of her numerous mistakes.

“Your parents had a very interesting way of leadership. I take it no one had informed you.” It wasn’t a question, as the older woman knew the answer when she looked over Lexa’s shoulder at Titus.

“Um.” The addressed rose from his chair and walked over. “I’ve been doing the best I could.” He held out a hand to the stern woman.

“Clearly not enough if the transformation from Senior Woods to Junior Woods has been bumpy.” Indra said accusatory, raising her eyebrows. She didn’t wait for either to explain, but went on. “It looks like the miscommunication starts between the two of you, judging by the glaring I stumbled upon when entering.” Indra pointed out and took a seat at the long table.

Titus sat down as well, but before he could clarify the situation Lexa raised her voice.

“Well, I’ve asked numerous times to be addressed as Lexa but he won’t do it. Being addressed as ‘Ms Woods’ reminds me of my mother.” She said in a low voice, a shrug accompanied her words. Her sad eyes showed the hurt of not being considered ‘a real Woods’ when her parents were still alive.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realise.” Titus looked more sour than apologetic, but Lexa nodded.

“You two are ridiculous. Considering you…” Indra pointed to Titus. “Are the personal advisor to you…” She turned to Lexa. “The CEO of Grounder Corporation, I’d expect a more professional atmosphere.” She scolded both. “This is stupid.” She finished, leaning back in her chair.

“You’re right.” Lexa agreed.

“I’m sorry Lexa.” Titus repeated his words more sincerely this time, earning a small smile from the younger woman.

“So, back to more pressing measures. What are the plans for the Airline meeting?” Indra leaned forward, elbows on the table. Lexa sighed and sat down again, checking her watch and cringing at the time. She had half an hour left, before she would officially be late to her evening with Clarke.

“Can we maybe talk about this in LA? It’s where it’ll take place anyway.” She tried.

“Why?” Indra looked at her confused. “I’m here, you’re here. Talk now.”

“I kinda have to be somewhere soon and would want to change my clothes.” Lexa explained.

“The meeting is in three weeks. I promised your parents a long time ago I would help you in any way possible. I’m your godmother.”

Lexa smiled tightly at the reminder and after another moment she bend over the armrest to retrieve the papers from her bag on the floor. “This is the venue.”

# ***

**_My room number is 214. I’ve found the movie on Netflix. Hurry up or I’m visiting Santa without you._ **

Clarke stared at her phone for the millionth time since she had sent the message to Lexa, who hadn’t answered nor showed up so far. She had decided to call room service to order dinner once the brunette was there to make sure the food was warm. She wondered if she should call her to check if everything was alright. The pilot had seemed as eager to spent time with her as she had. Why would Lexa stand her up now?

 

Clarke paced back and forth in her hotel room, wondering and sighing, when she finally heard a knock at the door. She quickly made her way over and before seeing who was there, she said. “Wow finally. Took you long enough -” She stopped and gaped like a fish upon seeing a man on the other side of the door. “Um, hello?”

He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry to disturb your evening Ms Griffin, but I have a message for you.” He explained with a bright smile. He handed over a small bottle of champagne, a box of chocolates and a note. Before Clarke could say anything the man turned around and left her standing with her hands full. She furrowed her forehead whilst stepping back and closing the door with a swing of her hips.

 

**Clarke,**

**I’m really sorry I can’t be with you already, but I hope the refreshments will help you enjoy the movie.**

**Lexa**

Clarke smiled at Lexa’s words, but immediately sadness took hold of her features and she sighed disappointedly. Whatever the pilot was busy with was more important than being here with her. She cringed at her thoughts. Lexa had a life, which was apparently higher class, if she felt the need to send something to Clarke’s room as an apology for not being there personally. The blonde looked up from the note and eyed the alcohol and sweets. Who does that? A simple text would have just been as informative.  
Clarke shrugged and opened the box of sweets, a tiny piece melted on her tongue whilst she marvelled in its rich taste. “Wow, good stuff.” She praised appreciatively, sucking the praline.

 

**Clarke (20:16): Bribing me with bubbles and chocolate won’t get you out of this, but it’s a nice gesture. Thank you. :-)**

 

Lexa felt the vibration in her pants pocket and started fidgeting almost immediately, hoping she had gotten a text from a certain blonde assuring her she wasn’t mad. Hoping being the operative term. She had managed to make a quick call to the hotel on her pretended toilet break to make sure Clarke knew how sorry she was. Lexa was more than disappointed for missing out on their downtime together.

She sighed and stealthily pulled her phone out to read the message.

“Lexa? You ok?” Indra looked at her worriedly. Lexa’s facial features must have displayed the giddiness she had felt reading the words.

“Um, yeah yeah. Just…” She lifted her hand holding her phone up. “Do you mind? I need to answer this quickly.” Her godmother shook her head, but eyed her curiously.

**Lexa (20:18): I’m sorry Clarke. Please start the movie and enjoy. Lexa**

 

She had wondered if she might get a response at all and was genuinely surprised at the little time, which had passed. Clarke looked at her messenger, a tsunami of disappointment, sadness, and frustration flooded her mind and she sat down on her bed, champagne glass temporarily forgotten in her hand. ‘She doesn’t want to be here.’ The thought was running amok in her brain. ‘Why suggest it to start with?’

“Why suggest it to start with?” She repeated loudly breaking the silence around her. “Why?” She again read the note attached to the gifts and decided Lexa was just being polite and didn’t want to hold her back from enjoying her favourite Christmas movie. Clarke bit her lip, contemplating her next move. She could be bold, couldn’t she? They had a moment back in the cockpit, hadn’t they? Besides, she still recalled Anya’s words from earlier in the week about their infatuation for each other.

**Clarke (20:26): Tell you what. I’ll start watching but you promise to come by as soon as you’re free?**

 

‘She still wants me to come?’ Lexa thought when she read Clarke’s answer. It had taken a little time and she wondered what had gone through the head of the blonde. Lexa felt a warmth spreading through her body at the fact that she was still very much invited to Clarke’s, but as soon as she allowed herself to marvel in the feeling she caught the curious glance of Indra.

“What?”

“Who are you texting?”

“That’s for me to know.”

“Finish up, we still have a few points to discuss.”

 

**Lexa (20:27): I don’t know when I’m free but I’d love to come over. Just don’t want to be a nuisance.**

‘Huh?’ Clarke swallowed the liquid in her mouth questioning Lexa’s sense of reality. She could never be a nuisance. Whether or not Lexa knew it herself, Clarke was very convinced the brunette could only be, if at all, positive trouble. If she wanted to find out, what could be between her and the pilot, she needed to be clearer of her intentions. She wanted Lexa to come over, not in as a booty call. Clarke blushed at her own thoughts. She simply wanted to spend time with her, get to know her, and explore their connection. She grinned at that and let her fingers type out her answer.

**Clarke (20:36): I’ll call the reception and have them hand you a key card. This way I can stay comfy in bed with my treats. No bother at all.**

Lexa glanced up from her phone, cheeks slightly red from Clarke’s last message. Wasn’t it a big step from offering to spend time with each other watching a movie to be granted access to the room without restrictions? She sat up straighter, watching Indra and Titus at the other side of the room getting coffee, and biting her lip subconsciously. There was nothing wrong with the offer, as she wasn’t a creep. They had had a moment earlier the day and Lexa was pretty sure if she had been braver she would know by now how Clarke’s lips felt against hers. And she really wanted to know that, so much so, that it scared her. She hadn’t felt such a strong connection to anyone, not even the one whose name she despised with all her power. She studied her phone for another moment before typing out her response and getting back to the meeting to wrap it up.

 

**Lexa (20:40): Ok. I’ll finish as quickly as possible. See you soon.**

 

She was so tired and longed for her bed, when she finally made her way down the second floor of the hotel. It was close to ten o’clock. Not really that late, but her day had been long and exhausting. When she arrived in front of the door, she considered for a moment to knock rather than using the card, but she didn’t want Clarke to get up. Especially after such a long time being comfortable in bed. She pushed the card into its designated slot and the green light flashed after a second accompanied by an unlocking sound. Lexa pushed the door slightly open, surprised to see the room drowned in darkness with music playing quietly in the background. She closed the door and stepped into the room to see Clarke asleep, wrapped in her duvet. Lexa took a moment to calm her nerves and just watched the sleeping beauty. ‘God, she is gorgeous.’ She went over to the bed and with shaking hands pushed a lock of hair back, which had fallen over the blonde’s face. When Clarke made a tiny sound the brunette came back out of her trance, straightened up again, walked past the TV, and switched it off. Before she slipped quietly out of the room, Lexa turned back and with a longing gaze whispered “Goodnight Clarke”.

# ***

When the alarm went off Clarke blinked at her surrounding, utterly confused as to where she was. It took her moment scanning the room when it dawned on her and she sat up. Lexa had not shown up and she must have fallen asleep, she mused. She looked at the time and with a yawn got up. When she walked past the TV she stopped and slowly turned back to the device. It was switched off. She remembered she hadn’t switched it off; she loved the music at the end of the movie and usually left it on.

“Lexa had been here.” She whispered to herself relieved to learn the brunette had stopped by. She grinned like a toddler on a sugar rush and skipped into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

 

They met in the entrance hall. Clarke had just left the lift and walked towards the reception to check out when Lexa turned around, leaning against the counter to do the same. They smiled when they caught sight of each other.

“Hi there.” Clarke stepped up to the counter next to her and handed her card over to the eagerly waiting woman.

“Good morning Clarke. I’m sorry for yesterday.” Lexa lowered her head, regret written all over her green eyes.

“Me too, but I’m sure you were needed wherever you were.” Clarke tried and Lexa smiled softly at her, but the blonde had to focus her attention at the receptionist and signed the checkout form giving Lexa a few moments to admire the beauty next to her. It was early morning, but Clarke looked flawless in her uniform and aesthetic makeup.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

Lexa blinked and blushed immediately realising she had been caught staring, but the flight attendant just smiled at her. “You looked so calm and soft I couldn’t wake you.”

It was Clarke’s turn to blush and she lowered her head. “Pity though.”

The women turned and walked towards the exit, when Lexa spoke again. “I really wanted to be there, I hope you know that.”

Clarke looked at her, a smile playing at her full lips. “I really wanted you to be there, I hope you know that.”

Before Lexa could reply her phone rang and she glanced apologetically at the blonde who gestured for her to go ahead.

“Lexa here.”

“Fucking finally woman. I’ve been trying to get you on the phone for ages.”

“Good morning to you too.” Lexa sighed. She had forgotten to call Anya back although she had been asked to do so.

“Yeah yeah. Stop the niceties. So, what’s happening at Christmas?”

“Actually, we’re on our way to LA. Shall we meet up tonight?”

“Geez, better have time for everyone. Talked to Raven yesterday. Octavia and her are really pissed at having to work.”

“Um…”

“You can’t talk at the moment?”

“Not really.” Lexa looked over at Clarke, who had given her some space and was waiting with the rest of the cabin crew for their transport. “But are you suggesting I should send out an information letter?” She whispered into the receiver.

“Well, I’m not paid remotely enough to function as your advisor -”

“Anya.” Lexa interrupted her with a whiny voice.

“But…” Anya picked up her sentence. “If I were you I’d address that issue before it escalates any more. Explain and diffuse.”

“Right.” Lexa nodded.

“So?”

“Yeah will do. Thanks Anya.”

“Wait. Are we still on for tonight?”

“Um, I have to check my agenda. Let me message you once I know more.”

Anya sighed loudly. “You need to let go and relax a little or else you’ll explode. Come out with me tonight? Ask Clarke if she wants to come along? Raven will be there too.”

Lexa looked over again, this time catching Clarke looking at her. She smiled. “Ok, if I have no meetings I’m in.”

“Yes.” Anya exhaled triumphantly. “See you later loser.”

Before she could come back with a retort of her own the call was disconnected and she quickly opened her calendar. She grinned whilst walking over.  
“Clarke?” The blonde looked up from her phone. “I was wondering if you fancy a drink later? I’ll be out with Anya…” She stopped seeing the grin on Clarke’s face.

“And Raven?” The blonde finished the sentence for her and held up her phone for Lexa to read her latest conversation with her friend.

 

**Raven: You better come tonight. I need to vent.**

**Clarke: Why? What’s happened?**

**Raven: Christmas happened…**

**Clarke: Christmas happens every year shockingly always on the 25 th of December. Crazy huh?**

**Raven: Asshat. Not what I meant. We’re working.**

**Clarke: Well, new things don’t necessarily have to be bad things.**

**Raven: We NEVER worked on Xmas!!!!!!!!!**

**Clarke: Chill out lover of punctuations and I know. I was there. With you. Every Christmas.**

**Raven: Why are you so calm about it?**

**Clarke: Cos it’s nothing I can change and I’m sure it’ll be ok.**

**Raven: I need a dose of the tranquilizer you frequently seem to ingest woman. Bring it tonight. We’re going out. Anya and O are on board as well.**

Lexa gulped at Raven’s outburst. She really should have been told about the ‘Christmas is company vacation’ rule. “So, you going?” She asked hesitantly.

“Are you?”

“I asked first.” Lexa smiled, feeling the anxiety leaving her body.

“I am.”

“Me too.”

They grinned, blue locked on green. The bus arrived at the same moment and the spell was broken, and reality seeped in. “Cool.” Lexa mumbled and offered to take Clarke’s trolley to hand it over to the driver.

The trip was short and Lexa tried actively to not think about the drama her decision had caused. In her mind she’d already formulated an email, which she hoped to be able to send later that day. She needed to do damage control, Anya had been right.

Their work at the airport went smoothly and soon enough Lexa sped up on the runway westbound towards LA leaving a cold and windy Boston behind.

# ***

“Mmmm.” Clarke moaned at the warmth enveloping her when she opened the cabin door. “Nothing’s as nice as a warm breeze in December.”

“I like the cold more.” A passenger quipped back at her when she moved aside to let them get off the plane.

“Fair enough. Thanks for flying with Grounder Airline.” Clarke said with a nod and a smile. She repeated the statement in various versions to all the first class passengers and bit her farewells to the economy class and sighed when the last has disembarked the plane. “Thank god I’m off tomorrow.”

“That’s nice.” Lexa stepped out of the cockpit and joined her on the platform to the tunnel.

“So…” Clarke drawled eyeing the pilot with a smirk. “Am I still seeing you tonight?”

“Yes.” Lexa breathed out. She would cancel all meetings if she had any today to make sure not to stand Clarke up again. “I’ll most definitely be there.”

“I’m looking forward to it then.” Clarke said when they entered the arrival hall. She spotted Raven at the end of it and quickly turned to Lexa. “Excuse me please, but my crazy, unmedicated friend needs assistance before the airport police arrests her again.” Clarke grinned and waved at the pilot over her shoulder before marching down the hall. Lexa kept her eyes on the retreating form until Clarke vanished from her sight. She exhaled the air she had been holding and made her way over to the exit. She needed to get to her office after having been informed about the misery she had put her employees in.

 

“Clarke. Come here. You have to see this.” Raven exclaimed as soon as Clarke was in earshot. She waved her into the meeting room of Grounder Airline and made her sit down at the head.

“What is it Ray?” The blonde flight attendant asked annoyed. Instead of replying she was presented a single sheet of paper. Confused Clarke looked at it and upon reading her own name as well as her friends she picked it out of Raven fingers to study it properly. “Is that what I think it is?” She asked carefully.

“The Christmas rota. Yes.” Raven replied with anger in her voice.

“New York?”

“Yes.”

“On Christmas Day?” Clarke looked at her.

“Yes.” The brunette confirmed annoyed.

“You, O and I?”

“Anya and Lexa too.” At that a small smile tugged at her friend’s mouth and Clarke let a grin take over her own features.

“On Christmas Day?”

“You’re repeating yourself.”

“I’m just trying to find out why the hell you’re so pissed at that.”

“It’s Christmas Day.” Raven exclaimed loudly.

“Doesn’t really matter were we are as we’re still together.”

At that Raven eyed her suspiciously. She opened her mouth as if to counter, but closed it, when the blonde spoke up again. “We’ll be flying in early afternoon and will have the rest of the day off until the evening shift on the 26th. We could go ice-skating in front of the Rockefeller Centre?” Clarke’s eyes brightened more the longer she spoke and Raven’s mouth widened the more she let the idea sink in.

“Wow Griffin, you’re right. Actually, that is probably the best Christmas in a long time.”

“What do you mean? You guys spent the last two at my place.” Clarke pouted.

“Yeah that was nice too.” The dark haired woman appeased her friend. Silence sank into the small meeting room whilst both women daydreamed of the possibilities a Christmas in New York offered.

“So.” Raven broke the calmness of the moment, but waited for Clarke to look at her, before she elaborated her thought. “Lexa, in New York, with you, at Christmas… thoughts?”

# ***

When Clarke got ready for the evening out, she heard her phone vibrate on the kitchen counter. She was nervous about the night, as she wasn’t sure where her and Lexa stood at the moment. She had hoped to be surer after their time together, but as it turned out, she had been more confused than before. Lexa hadn’t shown up for their evening, but had apparently tucked her in after spending money to apologise for her no-show. Again Clarke asked herself the same question she had the previous night. ‘Who does that?’

She strolled over to where her phone was charging and checked the reason for the notification. An Email from l.woods@grounderairline.com sat in her inbox. ‘Was that the new boss? L. Woods?’ Clarke mused whilst opening the message, curiosity too big to ignore till the next day.

Clarke read the email twice. “Wow.” She whistled to herself. “They know how to eat humble pie.” She closed the app and readied herself upon hearing a car honking just outside her apartment complex, accompanied by a text message telling her to hurry the fuck up.

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Clarke breathed out in annoyance when she yanked open the door and glared at Raven’s impatience. “About time.”

“Just drive.”

Raven nodded and reversed out of the small parking lot onto the main road taking them downtown LA.

“So, that happened.” Clarke stated nonchalantly.

“What?”

“Oh the new boss had just sent an email apologising for the Christmas debacle.”

“What? What did it say?”

Clarke opened her app and read the words out loud for Raven.

_Dear Colleagues,_

_It came to my attention that my recent decision to schedule flights on Christmas Day had been received with incomprehension and animosity towards my person._

_Please accept my apology. I hadn’t been informed about the tradition to not conduct business over the holidays._

_I understand your anger and outburst, but I hope Grounder Airline can still bank on your utmost focus, motivation and enthusiasm to create a special time for our customers._

_Everyone working on the 25 th / 26th will be granted an additional vacation day in the next year._

_I value each and every one of you just as much as my parents did and I hope this incident won’t decrease your loyalty towards Grounder Airline._

_Happy Holidays,_

_L.Woods_

 

“That’s um… unexpected.” Raven muttered.

“Someone must have talked and explained for them to write that.”

“Yeah. Takes some courage to openly admit a mistake though.” Raven admired.

“Oooh, does that mean the big boss is off your naughty list?”

“Haha. You are so funny. Not.” Raven grinned despite her words. “Here we are.”

They arrived in front of the bar and spotted Octavia leaning against the nearest wall talking to Anya and Lexa.

“You’re ready for this?” Raven sat after unfastening her seatbelt watching Clarke doing the same.

“For partying? Always.” The blonde replied with a smile.

“No I mean for hanging out with Lexa.” Raven clarified with a smile.

“Sure.” Clarke cleared her throat and opened the door indicating the conversation done.

“Good. Cos someone looks fucking hot tonight.”

Clarke glared at her for a moment, before turning her head towards her colleagues and friend. “Fuck.” She moaned.

“Told ya.” Raven whistled quietly and pushed the stupefied blonde forward.

“Raven, Clarke.” Octavia called out when she saw them coming over, affectively making the other two aware of the arrival of the rest of their group.

Lexa, who had been talking to Anya, stopped mid-sentence when her eyes found Clarke’s. Anya picked up on the missing part of Lexa’s attempt to convince her about the beauty of underwater documentaries and looked back at her friend. She leaned closer to Lexa and whispered “breathe” in her ear, before stepping back and turning to her girlfriend in a greeting.

“Hi babe. Long time no see.” Raven flirted.

“Too long as usual.” Anya replied against the brunette’s lips and pulled her into a tight embrace and more kisses, leaving the other three women standing awkwardly next to them.

Clarke cleared her throat. “Hi O. Lexa.”

“Hi Griffin. You look hot.” Octavia stepped closer to squeeze her friend, whom she hadn’t seen in a few days.

“So do you.” Clarke smiled into the hug, before moving out of her reach.

“Hi Clarke. You do look stunning.” Lexa managed, her heartbeat going a mile a second.

“Thanks. I can only return the sentiment.” They stared at each other, and effectively forgot the world around them.

“Great. We’re all hot as fuck tonight. Good we’ve established that. Can we move on?” Octavia interrupted the staring contest and kissing marathon and pushed the groaning and complaining women towards the entrance. “Well, I’m not getting younger.”

# ***

“Did she now?” She raised an eyebrow and glanced over.

The group of women had settled at a table after each getting a drink. It didn’t take long for the conversation to turn back to work and Raven recalled the words of the message their new boss had sent earlier this evening.

“Yes Anya. Haven’t you read it?”

“No I haven’t. I’ve been with Lexa.” Anya was still looking at her friend questioningly.

The brunette pilot smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware I’m keeping you away from modern technology.”

“Never mind. So Woods Junior apologised and offered a day vacation?” She looked pointedly at Lexa, daring her to say anything.

“Quite generous.” Clarke spoke up before Lexa had a chance.

“The least they could do.” Raven grumbled into her cocktail.

“Tell me Raven.” The blonde turned to her friend. “Who was it again setting fire to one of the planes in her first week on the job?” She smiled sweetly.

“Hey, wasn’t me. The cooker was defective and no one bothered to tell me.”

“Oh, no one told you? I wonder how you felt back then being held responsible for something someone had forgotten to inform you about.”

Lexa’s eyes travelled from Clarke to Raven and back, whilst the former lectured her friend, before settling on the blonde in utter disbelieve and awe. Within a few seconds she had managed to effectively demolish the fierce, unthankful attendant into a stuttering mess.

“I.. no.. I mean… Fuck ok.”

“One more thing.” Clarke took a small sip from her own drink before facing Raven. “Tell me, who said mere hours ago that this year’s Christmas will probably be the ‘best Christmas ever’?” She grinned now.

“Griffin you missed your true calling. Ever thought about heading into law?” Anya patted her girlfriend’s back and high fived the blonde. “That was epic. Sorry sweetheart.”

“I just don’t like everyone judging without knowing the facts first.” Clarke shrugged it off as nothing.

“You’re too loyal to someone you don’t even know and not devoted enough to your own friends, who have been around you all the time.” Raven complained and finished her drink.

“Well, I think it’s a very good attitude to have.” Lexa chimed in for the first time after having been kicked on her shin for the past minute.

“Yeah whatever. I’m going to dance. Anyone but Clarke?” Raven stood up and turned to Anya who smiled at her. “Or you deserter.”

“Oh come on babe.” She grabbed her hand and let herself be pulled up despite the scowl on her girlfriend’s face.

“You should drop the act. I know you’re looking forward to New York. Especially when you find out where we’re staying.” Anya said loud enough for the rest of the table to hear.

“Why were?” Octavia piped up curiously, having been quietly sipping her own drink whilst texting.

Anya exchanged a glance with Lexa, before dropping her voice. “You don’t know this from me, but the CEO has booked rooms in very good hotels for everyone.”

“How do you know about it?” Clarke asked and Lexa blanched at her words.

“Huh?” Anya stalled not having thought anyone would ask. Lexa had told her earlier about this little bonus for her employees. “Um, I know someone from the management.” She evaded and made her way over to the dance floor.

“Do you know anything about it?” Clarke asked Lexa who was gulping down her water. She needed something stronger if she wanted to survive the inquisitive blonde.

“She might have told me about it?”

“Who does she know? Is she friends with Nia?”

“Who would be friends with Nia?” Lexa blurted out at the absurdity of the statement. “This woman is as cold as ice.”

“Do you know her too?”

Lexa looked like a deer caught in the headlights at being stupid again around Clarke. This woman will find out about her sooner than later, Lexa was convinced. She bit her lip and thought about an explanation, following Clarke’s eyes to her mouth. She cleared her throat and the dark-blue orbs focused back on her own. “I met her at my interview. She was impersonal and distanced, hence my ice comment.” Lexa smiled before adding. “Would you like another drink?”

Clarke narrowed her eyes but decided it wasn’t worth it and nodded affirmatively. “Thank you.”

She watched Lexa walk over to the bar and sighed internally. “O? Something is off here. Did you notice?”

“What?”

“Have you been paying attention at all?”

“Nope. I’m texting with Lincoln.” At Clarke’s confused glare she clarified. “The bartender in Honolulu.”

“Oh!” The blonde exclaimed. “I wasn’t aware you guys were still in contact.”

“Still and it’s nice.” She smiled.

“Great I’ll be the only one watching the ball drop on my own. Raven’s got Anya, you got the bartender…”

“You could ask Lexa.”

“I don’t know.” Clarke sighed again looking over to the bar where Lexa was still busy with ordering. She turned back to Octavia and told her about the previous night.

“So? She wanted to come but couldn’t make it on time. No biggie.” Octavia tried to calm her friend.

“I just don’t know where we stand I guess.”

“Ask her.”

“Ask whom?” Lexa questioned whilst putting down the drink for Clarke who looked shocked to see her.

“No one.” She quickly answered turning bright red in embarrassment.

“Well Lexa.” Octavia started but Clarke got up immediately and interrupted. “Do you want to dance?”

Lexa looked from one to the other, noticing the cheeky smirk on Octavia’s face and the nervous twitch in Clarke’s posture, but didn’t elaborate on either. Instead, she took the outstretched hand into her own and led the owner of the limb to the dance floor.

# ***

They met up with Raven and Anya and danced for a few songs until a slower number came on and the couple turned towards each other, leaving them alone.

“Do you want to go back?” Lexa asked tentatively almost shyly and the walls around Clarke’s heart cracked a little more.

“Or we could just enjoy the dance?” She offered instead holding out her arms for Lexa to step into her embrace. They had never been that close to each other since they had met, but neither felt weird about it. Lexa pulled her closer and took one of Clarke’s hands into hers and her other came to rest on the blonde’s lower back. They swayed a little to the soft melody. Lexa looked over at Anya and grimaced at the other woman’s thumb up, before returning her gaze back to the woman in her arms. She gulped lightly at the intense gaze, but let herself be sucked into the bluest blue. She hadn’t realised Clarke’s body was impossibly closer, her hand more possessive on the small of her back. She hadn’t registered moving her other hand out of Clarke’s hold and onto the blonde’s hip. She only felt the blonde’s hands linking together softly at the nape of her neck; felt warm puffs of breath hitting her face every no and then, felt the warm body pressed into hers. She couldn’t look way. She couldn’t step away. She was powerless to one Clarke Griffin, who was merely an inch away now. Lexa’s lips quivered in anticipation of the soft mouth but she couldn’t let it happen. Not like that. Her work ethics were still in tact.

“Wait.” She breathed out and Clarke’s eyes snapped back to hers. “Wait.”

“What’s wrong?” Clarke looked at her surprised.

“I can’t do that.” Lexa managed when she felt the warm body step out of her reach.

“Oh.” Was all she heard before the blonde turned on her heals and disappeared into the crowd of moving bodies.

“I can’t do that before telling you who I am.” She finished her sentence, but the words got lost in the music.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom... ups.
> 
> I'm sorry but hey Christmas in New York will be epic. Epically awkward... lol
> 
> Thanks for reading and to everyone who had/has/will comment/ed or send/t kudos my way. It's awesome and I strive for more. See you soon.


	6. Chapter 6

"What the hell did you just do?" Octavia stomped over from the table she had been seated at. She had been utterly happy for Clarke as she had thought Lexa had been perfect for her. Now however, she was a millisecond away from punching the pilot in the face.

"I…" Lexa stammered and slowly faced the angry woman. "I can't." She repeated, turned on her heals and left in the opposite direction than Clarke.

"The fuck?" Octavia stared at the back of the quickly retreating form when Raven and Anya appeared at her side after seeing the tense body language between her and Lexa.

"O? What happened?"

"Who knows?" Octavia mumbled and pulled at her friend's arm to make her follow her to get to Clarke. Raven turned apologetically towards her girlfriend. "Call you later?" She hollered over the music and Anya nodded and started searching for Lexa.

"What happened?" She asked once she'd found her friend slumped in a seat in a darker corner.

"Not now." Lexa answered avoiding eye contact.

"Ok." Anya shrugged and sat down next to her. "I can wait. Seeing that my girl has just been dragged off, gives me the rest of the night to bother you." She bored her eyes into her friend's to read what was behind the mask.

"Let me be, Anya. I don't want to hear any of your shitty advice right now."

"What happened?" She repeated calmly.

"Exactly what I'd worried about..."

"Did she find out about you?" Anya asked incredulously. She would not have thought Clarke could take the carefully spun web of lies apart to find the truth. She didn't think the woman was stupid, but she thought Lexa had more help in hiding her identity.

"No." Lexa answered, shaking her head at the same time, before lowering it into her hands. A long sigh escaped her mouth which was followed by harsh breathing.

"Come on." Anya pulled her up and guided her towards the exit. They left the club without bumping into the other half of their group, and without so much as glance back the brunette started to take off and cross the road.

"Hey, wait." Anya stopped her mid-motion and pulled her back up the curb. "I'm calling a cab."

"I don't need a taxi. Just leave me be." Lexa tried to wriggle out of the strong hold.

Anya looked at her with intense eyes before shaking her head no. "You're hurt and I don't know why. I'm taking you home and you're going to spill the beans."

They stared at each other, neither wanting to give in.

"I'm capable of taking care of myself. I have been for a long time. Do me a favour and leave me alone." Lexa said with finality in her voice, before she finally twisted out of the blonde's grip and walked as quickly as possible into the shadow of the night, leaving Anya clueless and worried.

* * *

"Clarke?" Octavia had finally caught up with her friend who had stood outside the club staring gloomily at the sky. She didn't answer, just clenched her jaw. "What was that? One moment I see you having a great time and in the next you're running off." Octavia tried again.

Clarke finally focused on her and Octavia felt her heart break for her friend seeing the hurt in deep-blue eyes. She gently took her in her arms and hugged her when she heard her talk quietly. "I can't do this at the moment. I'm going home. Please stay."

"You're not going home alone." Raven said walking up to them, putting her arms around the both of them. Octavia took hold of Clarke's hands and squeezed them tightly. When she saw Lexa and Anya leaving the club as well, she turned slightly to make sure the blonde couldn't see them. "Let's go."

"Thanks." Clarke mumbled and was about to walk to Raven's car, but was stopped by a gentle hand on her elbow.

"Hey." After Lexa had made it very clear that she didn't want her company, Anya had walked back over to the group. "You ok?"

"Yeah, not so much…" Raven spoke quietly to her girlfriend, sensing Clarke wouldn't answer. "We're leaving."

Anya nodded, leaning closer. "Do you know anything?"

Raven shrugged and shook her head. "No, and she's not speaking. Where's Lexa?" She looked around for a sign of the other woman. Maybe she could help bring light into the darkness.

"I don't really know, to be honest. Couldn't stop her and she wanted to be alone."

"Right… That's so weird." Raven frowned.

"Anyway…" Anya interrupted her thinking. "Take her home and call me when you're free. You could come over later?"

"Yeah..." Raven smiled. "Not sure when though."

"Well, let me know. I'll see if I can find Lexa."

They kissed goodbye and Raven watched her cross the road before turning back to her friends. She nodded and they slowly started to walk to her car.

"Where did Anya go?" Clarke's voice was quiet, but they heard her anyway too focused on her in hopes she'd tell them what was going on.

"She went to find Lexa." Raven answered honestly.

Clarke nodded but remained silent for another moment before whispering. "I'm sorry for ruining your night."

"You didn't ruin anything." Raven assured her, stroking her hand up and down the blonde's back.

"It's been so long for you and Anya to enjoy a night out, I'm sorry." Clarke mumbled eyes fixed on the sidewalk.

"It's not your fault, I'm sure. Let's take you home and we can assess the situation." Octavia offered when they reached the car. Clarke ignored her and climbed into the back.

They didn't talk any further and drove in silence with only the radio playing soft music in the background. Clarke stared out of the window. She didn't see anything, she was thinking about every interaction she had had with Lexa and where the hell she had interpreted her wrongly. She couldn't think of a single moment where she hadn't felt Lexa had interacted with her in a way that would suggest she hadn't been interested, quite the contrary. She had first met the pilot when she had helped her get rid of Niylah. From there on Lexa had always been quick to support her or had shown her how highly she thought of her. Needless to say, she replayed their moment in the cockpit yesterday morning, which had been so much more different than the one minutes ago. Back then Clarke had been very sure Lexa would have kissed her given they had been elsewhere. Tonight they had been off work and far away from any plane or airport and they could have just been Clarke and Lexa, but the brunette had taken the emergency exit nevertheless.

"Clarke?"

"Mm…?" She turned her head and realised they were in front of her apartment block. "Oh. Thanks for dropping me off." She said quickly, unfastening her seatbelt and stepping out of the car.

"Hey wait." Octavia called after her, getting out as well. "Do you want us to come up with you?"

"No, thanks though... I'll be fine." She reassured with a small smile. She just wanted to be alone.

"Are you sure?" Raven killed the engine and climbed out of her car. "We can stay. You don't have to talk if you don't want to. We can also just watch a movie or something?" She shrugged.

"No really. I don't feel like company at the moment. Please don't worry about me."

"I don't like the thought of you being alone." Octavia stepped closer to her. "Please let me come upstairs with you."

"No offence, but I really don't want anyone with me." Clarke answered more harshly than needed. She was just fed up with the world and needed to be on her own.

"Are you angry at us?" Raven asked somewhat surprised by Clarke's outburst.

The blonde looked from one woman to the other, before speaking up again. "I'm not angry, but I shouldn't have followed your advice to pursue anything with a pilot. I knew better." The blonde let out with a sigh, raking her fingers through her mane.

"What happened?" Raven asked softly to calm everyone down.

"Nothing..."

"Clarke?"

"I feel different about her than she does about me."

"She doesn't want you?"

"Clearly not..." Clarke mumbled and walked backwards to the entrance of her apartment complex. The statement, as truthful as it was, hurt her more than she wanted anyone to know. "Please, let it be. I'll get over it. That's not the first time and surely not the last either." It was final and they knew it. Octavia nodded and got back into the car whilst Raven walked over to the blonde and whispered. "Call if you need anything." She knew Clarke wouldn't be in danger, but she was hurting and the brunette was worried.

"Will do…" Clarke nodded. "See you."

"Yeah. Take care of you please."

The blonde watched them leave before turning around and entering the house. She slowly made her way upstairs and into her apartment. She stepped out of her shoes and closed the door.

'How could something that had felt so right, turn out to be so wrong?'

She prepared a tea and settled on the windowsill staring out into the darkness. It didn't take long, for the emotion she had tried to bury, crawl back into her conscience. Loneliness. It had all started with losing her dad. 'Maybe I'm cursed,' she thought to herself. Ever since the first loss, she had experienced it over and over. Her mother hadn't technically left her, but she hadn't been there for her either. Whenever she had risked getting close to someone they had left her or had hurt her and then had left. She hadn't been enough for anyone in a long time. Not enough of a daughter for her mother to be there for her. Not enough of a girlfriend for Niylah to not cheat on her. Not enough for Lexa to overcome her doubts or fears or whatever the words were aimed at. The only people remaining in her life had been her friends.

"Maybe I'm not made for relationships." She whispered, sipping her tea. 'Maybe my friends can be enough?' She thought and got lost in the vastness of the dark sky.

Eventually she went to bed and hoped to forget the painful admission of the woman she had thought could be someone more. 'I can't.' A small part in her was wondering if there was more to those three words, but the bigger part was hurting and embarrassed for opening up and putting herself once more in the position to be pushed away.

Clarke really tried hard to find sleep, but it didn't come. Her mind couldn't find rest. All thoughts twisted and swivelled around one notion. She could have sworn Lexa felt something for her too, but her own track record of relationships showed she clearly had no clue how to read other people. 'Have I reflected my own attraction onto her?' She sat up and pulled out her phone to scroll through the short conversation she had had with Lexa since they've met.

* * *

Lexa had walked for a little while when she stopped in a park and sat down on a bench. She closed her eyes, hoping to forget the hurt in Clarke's eyes. Hoping to forget that the one thing she had been adamant of not happening since she had met the blonde, had happened nevertheless. She had managed to hurt her. She kept sitting with her eyes closed and replayed the last moments before everything had gone downhill. The blonde had been in her arms. They had been dancing and she had felt the invisible pull, like two magnets, but seconds later Clarke had been out of her reach with the most heart-breaking expression on her face, stumbling further away from her.

She sighed deeply and opened her eyes. Deep down she knew she had done the right thing by not kissing Clarke. Her family name was heavy, a burden with lots of obligations and commitment. It wasn't fair to omit this fact, but she also worried the outcome of the disclosure for another reason. She had seen it multiple times and her very own past proved plentiful of examples that people became greedy as soon as wealth and importance came into play. Would Clarke change? Would Clarke be influenced by all the glamour and luxury Lexa could offer? Would Clarke still want to be with her because of, or despite the money?

Lexa rubbed over her tired face, before letting her head fall back. Every fibre in her body told her that Clarke was different, and she could trust her, but she was scared. She was scared of how important the flight attendant had become in the last few weeks. She was frightened of how much she already felt for her. She hadn't needed this episode in her shitty life to realise she was helplessly falling for her. She had known before and had tried to push her feelings away. She couldn't afford love. She couldn't risk losing everything. Not now. The company was the only thing her parents had left to her that had been of value to them. She still felt more like drowning in the waves than actually steering with the current when it came to running Grounder Corporation. Everything was at stake if she didn't figure out how to manage her parent's company. Her company.

Lexa started nodding to no one when the thought hit home. 'I need to start by accepting the fact this is my business now, my responsibility. I need to take over. I need to be in control.'

She stood up and slowly walked towards the exit of the park and another concern filtered through her sub-consciousness. Something she had known from the start and had preached over and over until she had stopped and had started to indulge in the idea of a possibility with Clarke. Despite the fact that Lexa couldn't let herself get lost in someone and as hard as it was to accept, she couldn't date Clarke, because it was unethical and unprofessional. Even if the blonde learned all about Lexa, at the end of the day, she was still her employee and Lexa was still her boss.

She pulled out her phone, staring at its dark screen for a while, thinking of what to do. Every apology she created in her head, she discarded right away. She didn't regret a single moment between her and Clarke and in another life she wouldn't hesitate to get what she wanted. Alas, this was her only life and she was not allowed human desires. Maybe she could meet up with her and just tell her everything, and make her sign a nondisclosure agreement? 'Yeah, that might work.' She thought and finally felt she'd made progress on her path to be who she needed to be.

'It's not what I want, but its never had been my choice anyway to become who I am nowadays.'

* * *

Clarke had moved over to her couch and was watching some comedy reruns to take her mind of the disaster the evening had been, when her phone lit up.

**Lexa (01:20): Can we meet later? I'd like to explain.**

Clarke huffed out in surprise. 'What's there to explain?'

She thought back to the moment in the club and realised, she hadn't really given Lexa any time to elaborate. She had heard the words and had taken off.

'She doesn't want me the way I want her. I get it.' She thought and played with her phone, contemplating. There was nothing to misinterpret. She had tried to kiss Lexa but the woman had stopped them. Although, thinking back, the words were spoken with such a depressed voice full of resignation. The longer Clarke thought about the way Lexa had sounded and had looked so lost and sad, the more she got the feeling there was a story behind the 'I can't' she wanted and needed to hear.

**Clarke (1:32): When and where?**

Lexa did not expect Clarke to still be awake and felt even worse worrying it was her who had kept the blonde up. After she had left the park, she had gone to her office. She had known she wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway. She had wanted to prepare all the documents she would need as she had been hopeful to hear from Clarke once she had sent the message. When she read the blonde's words she felt her heartbeat increasing and her hands started to sweat. 'I can do this.'

**Lexa (1:40): Brunch at 11:00? The Belvedere?**

"The Belvedere?" Clarke asked loudly into the silence of her apartment, surprise written all over her face. She had never been to the place because it belonged to an exclusive hotel on Santa Monica Boulevard.

'I wasn't aware they do brunch,' she thought. Why would Lexa want to meet me at such a high-class restaurant? Was this an invite or would she has to pay? Clarke quickly opened the browser on her phone to check out the menu and nearly choked on her own spit when she saw the prices.

"$85 for a brunch?" She exclaimed outraged and replied with a scowl.

**Clarke (1:45): Sounds good, but can we meet elsewhere? This is a little out of my pocket.**

Lexa was wondering how the blonde would react to the place and a small smile played at her mouth at seeing the answer. Of course Clarke would assume this wasn't an invitation with all expenses paid. She wasn't Costia.

Lexa wasn't sure how to proceed. She hadn't really been anywhere since she came to LA. She only knew about this place, because her parents had mentioned it a couple of times. Should she stick with the original plan and invite the blonde? Lexa cringed at that, worrying it might look too much like a date when she was going to do the exact opposite of that.

 **Lexa (1:53): Where would you like to meet?** She finally wrote and hit send a second later.

**Clarke (1:55): Ever been to a place called Charcoal?**

**Lexa (1:56): No. Message me the address and I'll meet you there at 11:00. Thank you for giving me your time, Clarke. Lexa**

**Clarke (2:00): 425 Washington Blvd.** Clarke stopped typing, thinking of how to end her message but came up short. Whatever Lexa wanted to talk about, it probably wasn't what she wanted to hear and so she simply added ' **See you.** ' and pressed send, slumping back into her couch. She did not look forward to seeing the brunette to break her heart, but she also didn't want to keep her hopes up for something which wasn't going to happen.

'Why am I always falling for the wrong person? What's wrong with me?'

* * *

Lexa waited another moment to see if she would get more, but nothing came and although she wasn't surprised she was still disappointed. The whole situation was awful, but she had maneuvered herself into it and now she had to get out of it somehow. She was just about to call Titus to send her the form, when she heard her phone ringing. She groaned and threw her head back in annoyance. There was only one person who would bug her at that time of the night and she wasn't really in the mood for that. The ringing continued and although it wasn't the case, Lexa felt it got louder and angrier the longer she ignored it.

"What?" Lexa hissed when she picked it up.

"Open up or I'll call your security and say you're suicidal and need help."

"God damn you." Lexa growled but walked out of her office and opened the door.

"Why are you here?" She was greeted at the same time she asked. "How did you find me?"

They stared at each other for a moment, before Anya pushed past her into the building.

"I know you, and you weren't at the hotel. Where else would you be." She explained her presence. "So now answer my question, what are you doing here?"

"I needed some documents for later." Lexa replied vaguely.

Anya quickly dropped her scowl and asked calmly. "Are you leaving?"

"What?" Lexa turned confusedly towards her. "No... You said it yourself. Where else would I go?"

"Well LA hasn't many options for you, but thinking of the bigger picture… Boston?"

Lexa nodded. "Right, ok. I guess that's a possibility."

"Well are you?" Anya asked impatiently when Lexa showed no inclination to say more.

"No." She drawled the vowel and started to walk back to her office with Anya following her hot on her heals.

"What happened earlier? At the club." She asked, feeling like a broken record.

"I… We…" Lexa stopped walked, scratching the back of her neck and avoided eye contact. "Clarke and I nearly kissed." She finally mumbled quietly.

If Anya was surprised by the admission she didn't show and simply smiled. "Ok. Where's the problem? I thought you wanted that?"

"I do." Lexa exclaimed without hesitation and promptly blushed at her eagerness. "But I can't, which is exactly what I said before it could happen." She added calmly before entering her office.

"You said, 'I can't'?"

"Yeah and she just ran off." Lexa whispered in a sad voice remembering the look on Clarke's face before she had left her.

"I'm not surprised." Anya said matter of fact. "Why the hell did you say that?"

"Anya, I can't date Clarke. As much as I want to, I just can't afford the distraction. I need to focus; I need to learn how to be a boss."

"Oh wow. Now tell me, how would Clarke be unhelpful in this? She's an awesome flight attendant, she's a spokesperson for the staff and she's an intelligent and creative woman. She'll probably support you better than any of the baboons your parents were so fond of."

"Anya." Lexa scolded. "She's my employee and this isn't right."

"Ok." The blonde sighed and flopped down in the guest chair, stretching her tired limbs. "You got coffee? Sounds like a long night."

"What do you mean and yes I have."

"Good. I'd like one and then you tell me what you were planning to do."

"Great." Lexa groaned in annoyance, but activated the coffee maker nonetheless. "I was about to call Titus to send me a non-disclosure contract."

"What?" Anya quickly whipped her head around to look at her. She had a few ideas of what her friend might have been up to, but this wasn't one of them. The night seemed to get weirder by the second. "Why?"

"I hurt her." Lexa slowly let her gaze wander from the coffee dripping into the provided mug over to Anya. "I hurt her badly and I think it's time to come clean."

"You want to tell her who you really are?"

"Yes." Lexa nodded and crossed her office back to her desk.

"And give her a gag order?" Anya just stared at her in disbelief, ignoring the outstretched hand offering her drink.

"Yes." The brunette huffed and set the hot cup down on her desk.

"Wow." Anya leaned back in her seat. "We have so many things to discuss, but first of all, drop the idea of Clarke signing anything."

"Why?"

"It'll only be three weeks until everyone will learn about you anyway."

"I don't want to lie to her anymore."

"21 days Lexa…" She looked at her with wide eyes. "What did you want to put in the document anyway?" Anya asked her, and after a second a smile grew on her face. "I hereby put you Clarke Griffin under the oath to never breathe a single word to another living being that I am the Lexa Woods, heir of Grounder Corporation? P.S. I love you but can't date you, cos I'm your boss. Sorry."

"You're not even remotely funny." Lexa shook her head. "I don't know the terminology of such sensitive nature, but that's what Titus was supposed to do."

"You wanted to seek advice from someone who's too awful to find anyone who would love him and sells this as a heroic self-sacrifice instead of what it is, a sad existence? What did he once say to you after the Costia thing?"

"Love is weakness?"

"Yeah, that bullshit. Love is anything but weakness Lexa. I agree you've suffered, been used and exploited in the name of love and on top your parents probably never made you feel loved…" Anya trailed off watching Lexa leaning back in her seat, eyes watering at the mentioning of the lack of love from her parents. "… but believe me, love can give you strength."

"I wasn't enough for my parents to love me, and the one woman I thought did, used me for my money." She whispered.

"I love you, because you're a great friend and an awesome person." Anya said in a warm voice whilst stretching over the desk and caressing Lexa's hand. "I'm sure if you gave Clarke a chance she'd prove to you that you're not a piggy bank."

"Nothing you just said changes the fact that I have to explain in…" Lexa pulled her hand away and studied her watch. "… less than nine hours why I can't be with her."

Anya rolled her eyes at that. "Tell me again why you think you can't be with her?"

"For the millionth time she's my employee!" Lexa raised her voice in frustration.

"For fuck's sake, she has been for the past weeks and this didn't stop you from spending time with her." Anya matched her volume.

"You told me to let go and see where it would take me." Lexa yelled at her now.

"True." Anya nodded and continued in a calmer voice. "But only because I think it's not an issue and you and her could be good for each other."

"You don't know that."

"No Lexa I don't, but I know you and I know her." Anya stood up and walked around the desk. "Listen. I don't know where you have the stupid idea from, that you can't possibly be involved with someone at work -"

"It's not just someone at work, is it though? I pay her salary. I grant her vacation. By all means, it's my money that allows her to afford her life." Lexa interrupted her impatiently.

"Oh my god. If that's the problem, check out any heterosexual marriages. A man's salary is higher than a woman's with the same education, hell even in the exact same damn job. That's the fact as atrocious and unfair as it is, but this also means, that a huge amount of women depends on their partners to support them financially." She paused watching Lexa clenching her jaw. "Let's play a little game." She suggested and continued when Lexa nodded. "Let's pretend you've been in a relationship with someone before you took over the company, ok?"

"Ok." The brunette sighed, vaguely assuming where Anya would go with this.

"Would your girlfriend still work or would you offer her a life where she could stay home and do whatever she wants now that you're minted?" Anya asked walking around the office making Lexa follow her with her eyes.

"You know my answer." She grimaced at the words, but played along.

"Exactly, your romantic, love filled heart would give her the best life possible." Anya clasped her hands dramatically over her chest.

"What's your point?" Lexa asked with an eye roll at the gesture.

"My point is you'd support her without even questioning that it is your money that allows her this life." Anya smiled smugly and sat back down in her chair.

"And what has all this to do with Clarke?" Lexa asked, with one eyebrow raised high.

"Well, without a doubt you'd support her in whichever form or shape if you guys were in a relationship."

"God damnit, Anya. I've been listening to you for the last time. Your logic is flawed. You just told me because I finance their lives I'm in a relationship with all my employees. I don't want any of them, I only want Clarke."

Anya grinned at the slipup. "I know Lex." She said and observed the different shades of red on her friend's face. "And don't twist my words." She scowled at her. "Besides, it really is no big deal. I can think of a few boss-employee relationships, which have not been frowned upon."

"Pray tell."

"Well, for starters Michelle and Barack Obama. They worked together for law firm in Chicago. Mind you Michelle had been asked to teach little intern Barack."

"It's not the same." Lexa wined.

"Not the same? Ok ok… how about Bill Gates? He was the CEO of Microsoft when he started dating his future wife. Closer to home?"

Lexa nodded after a moment. "Ok, so you really don't think it's unethical?"

"Nope."

"Immoral?"

"That's basically a synonym and nope again." Anya smirked.

"Inappropriate?" Lexa voiced her last worry standing between her and Clarke.

"The only inappropriate thing would be if the two of you had office or cockpit sex." Anya teased knowing she had won the discussion.

"Anya, I don't need the visuals."

"I know, I know. You're already thirsting."

Lexa shook her head and finally let out a small laugh, feeling a little lighter. "Well Clarke is hot." She shrugged as if she couldn't help it.

"Yes, and you know what else she is? An absolute catch and an outstanding person."

Lexa nodded in agreement and let her head fall onto her desk. "I screwed up." She admitted quietly. "How am I going to explain my behaviour?"

"Right, your meeting. What did you settle on?"

"I wanted to take her to the Belvedere but she asked to go elsewhere."

"Point Griffin on the scale for not being a gold digger."

"She doesn't know I have gold to dig for."

"Yeah, but still she wouldn't accept an invitation to an exclusive place. I bet she doesn't even think it was meant as such. It's just not her thing. She's down to earth in a refreshing manner."

"Yeah, ok I get it. She's the best." Lexa smiled sadly. "And I lost her before it even began."

"Stupid you, but maybe we can fix this."

Lexa looked at her best friend and felt hope blossom in her chest. 'Maybe.'

* * *

Lexa paced up and down in front of the restaurant. She was nervous, so nervous. She checked her watch for the millionth time and tried to steady her heartbeat. She hadn't been able to sleep, it took Lexa all night to accept the fact that dating an employee was nothing out of the ordinary and certainly quite common in many businesses.

Anya and her had left the office an hour later with a hopefully successful strategy to get her out of the doghouse whilst keeping the chances alive of a happy ending. Provided Clarke wanted her in the end.

"Hi." Lexa was stopped abruptly in her pacing by the woman who had been on her mind for the majority during her waking hours. She turned towards the voice and any greeting got stuck in her throat. Clarke stood in front of her, without any makeup, her hair in an unruly ponytail and a long sweater over worn jeans, but Lexa only thought how absolutely stunning the woman looked even without trying.

"Hello Clarke." She managed a few moments later with a small smile. "Thank you for coming."

Clarke only nodded and gestured towards the restaurant to shorten the awkward situation. Lexa looked just as tired as she felt herself, but more than that she was breathtakingly beautiful and the blonde tried to get her feelings in check.

They decided on a table for two and settled opposite of each other. After another hour of contemplating the previous night, Clarke had decided to minimalize her communication and let Lexa do the talking, and the brunette seemed to get the hint.

"I'm sorry." She said but was interrupted by a waitress who took down their drinks and offered the menu. "I don't know how to start." Lexa admitted after another moment of silence. She had tried to think of how she would want the conversation to go, but being close to Clarke made her forget any of her prepared lines.

"You could start by explaining what you meant with 'I can't'." Clarke offered, voice wavering with emotion. Lexa had that influence on her.

"Right, well um… Ok." Lexa breathed in deeply. "Remember when I told you about my parents?"

Clarke's eyes widened. She had not considered anything could have been linked to the biggest tragedy in Lexa's life. "Yes." She answered quietly.

"Well…" Lexa stopped again, her breathing was erratic and she knotted her napkin into a tiny ball of tissue. Clarke just watched her, feeling half sorry for her, but she also wanted to hear the reason behind the rejection. Before Lexa could continue, their drinks were served and they took a couple of minutes to choose something to eat. When the waitress left, Lexa tried to calm down with a sip of her tea.

"So?" Clarke prompted her to continue, tilting her head slightly to one side and raising her eyebrows.

Lexa marvelled at the soft voice and the cute expression, but nodded in understanding, fixing her eyes on the tablecloth. "Yes, um… my parents left me a lot to handle which I'm still trying to figure out, and I'm just struggling at the moment, to juggle my job and everything else. I have so little time left, that I thought…" She took another sip and risked to look at the blonde again, who cradled her own cup in her hands, blowing onto it to cool it down. She simply looked at Lexa with her expressive blue eyes and the brunette felt butterflies erupting inside of her at the intensity of the glance. "I thought, I don't really have enough time for you." She finished.

Of all the things Clarke had thought of could be the reason for Lexa's retreat, this was not on her mental list and it took her by surprise. "That's it?" She asked incredulously.

"Clarke you have to understand. I'm so over my head, I can't afford a distraction and you are a distraction, a good one, but still a distraction and I don't mean to offend you with this. I…" She stopped her rambling upon seeing a small smile form on Clarke's sinful lips. "Um, jump in at any time." She added with a smile of her own.

"Lexa…" Clarke shook her head, relieved her worst fear hadn't come true. "I just want to get to know you. I didn't mean to put pressure on you."

"I know, and the truth is you haven't, but I still feel some kind of stress because I…" Lexa stopped when their food was served, glad for the moment to collect her thoughts.

"Because you…?" Clarke whispered once they were alone again.

Lexa inhaled deeply and locked eyes with the blonde. "Because I really like you Clarke, and it scares me." She answered honestly.

"I'm scared too." Clarke admitted to Lexa's astonishment.

"Why?" She blurted out.

Clarke blushed slightly. "Because, I really like you too."

The smile which took over Lexa's features was the most beautiful sight the blonde had ever seen and she was ultimately glad she had been brave enough to talk to Lexa. She returned the smile and they kept staring at each other for another moment.

"So, where do we go from here?" Clarke asked, taking her cutlery and inspecting the food, purposefully avoiding eye contact.

"We'll figure it out." Lexa answered and added. "Slowly?"

"I'm not going anywhere." She said with a quick glance at the brunette and finally took a bite.

Lexa kept looking at her in awe and she knew at that instance she would give Clarke the world, if she still wanted her after knowing the whole truth.

They finished their food with an excited conversation about New York and Christmas. Clarke told her how they'd usually celebrated the holidays and Lexa let her in on how she'd spent the days on her own the past years.

"Well, this year you won't be alone." Clarke smiled softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna quickly thank my girlfriend for proofing and everyone for the awesome feedback the story has so far generated. You guys are truly great and I love writing because of you. So please keep reviewing or if you feel inspired I'd love some drawings or paintings. That would truly make me crazily happy. Until next time.


	7. Chapter 7

Clarke and Lexa had bid their farewell early in the afternoon. Raven had messaged her while she had been with the brunette and had asked if she wanted to come over to watch a movie. Clarke had felt guilty for how she had treated her friends the previous night and had agreed to meet with them.

"So?" Octavia asked as soon as Clarke had stepped through the door. "Where were you this morning?"

"What?" The blonde looked at her puzzled. "What happened to 'hello' as a greeting?"

"Stop deflecting." Octavia grinned. "I dropped by yours to check on you, but you weren't home." She poked her playfully in the shoulder "Or were you avoiding me?"

"Um, I didn't avoid you." Clarke admitted rubbing her shoulder absently. "Did you invite me to interrogate me?"

"No." Octavia answered quickly; the cheeky smile replaced by a soft one. "We're worried is all." Clarke nodded her understanding, and Octavia asked a heartbeat later "So where have you been?"

"Lexa texted last night and asked me to meet up with her. She wanted to explain herself."

Raven ran from the kitchen where she had been busy preparing snacks, when she'd heard Clarke's admission. "And you agreed?"

"Well, I wanted to know what the hell is wrong with me that she couldn't kiss me." Clarke huffed out; annoyed to have to explain the whole ordeal once more.

"She what…?" Raven and Octavia said at the same time.

"Well, ok." Clarke raked her hand through her hair and sat down on the couch before continuing. "As you are aware, Lexa and I had a good time dancing with each other last night at the bar." The two friends nodded. "But before I had a chance to kiss her, she said she 'I can't' and that's when I took off without giving her time to explain."

"Ah, that's why you thought she didn't want you." Octavia decoded the cryptic message from the previous night.

"Wouldn't you?" Clarke leaned back into the couch and put her feet up onto the coffee table accepting the beer offered from Raven.

"So how was the meeting with her this morning then?" Raven steered back to their original topic, sitting down next to the blonde, mirroring her position.

"Good." Clarke offered with a nod. "Yeah, good actually." She smiled happily.

Octavia and Raven shared a look before the latter spoke up again. "And by good you mean you guys talked it out or had sex?"

"Oh my god!" Clarke exclaimed loudly and slapped her friend's arm. "Of course it means we talked. Who do you think I am?"

"Um…" Raven laughed at the glare the blonde sent her. "So?"

"So?" Clarke repeated, addled.

"What was the talk about? How did she explain her reaction?" Raven asked impatiently.

Clarke looked at her before shaking her head slightly. "I don't think Lexa would like me to share. It's rather personal."

Both of her friends looked at her secrecy in surprise, but neither dug any further. "Fair enough, as long as you're ok?"

"I am." Clarke smiled shyly and averted her eyes.

"So, where are you guys standing now?" Raven asked with a naughty grin on her face. "Dating? Friends with benefits? Friends? What do you want it to be?"

"Hey." She pointed to the stack of newspaper, advertisement and letters on Raven's couch table. "Look what was in the post." She fished for the beige coloured envelope with the Grounder Airline logo printed on it and held it out to her friend. "You guys made such a big deal out of it, I'm surprised you haven't open it yet."

"Octavia brought it upstairs. Must have been delivered this morning."

She tore the paper open and carefully extracted the card out of its confines. It was red with lots of different winter and Christmas related symbols such as snowmen and flakes, candles and socks, a Santa hat and a church window.

"Well, that's modern." Clarke pointed out.

"Yeah, what happened to baby Jesus in his crib?" Octavia laughed.

"Shut up and read morons."

_At the close of this challenging and turbulent year I gratefully pause to wish you a warm and happy Christmas. My sincere gratefulness goes to all of you for your goodwill and loyalty throughout this confusing time._

_Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. See you all in the New Year._

_L. Woods_

"Wow, that's kind." Octavia mumbled.

"Well the email already proved their benevolence." Clarke pointed out.

"It's nice to hear, but -" Raven slapped the card back on the table and pointed at Clarke. "Don't think for a minute I hadn't sniffed out your change of topic. Come on Griffin. You and Lexa?"

Clarke smiled bashfully, but shook her head pulling her mouth in a thin line, before saying. "No, for now I'll be keeping this to myself."

The trio bickered for a few more minutes, but Clarke wouldn't tell them anything. Although Lexa had never said to remain silent about it, the blonde felt it was a sensitive subject and she didn't want to damage Lexa's trust.

They eventually relaxed on the couch with their snacks and enjoyed the evening together.

* * *

The days until Christmas just vanished in a blur for Lexa. She had been busy with profit calculations and salary amendments as well as board meetings and future advertisement campaigns. She had not been able to fly anywhere and therefore had not seen Clarke at all. It had only been four days, but Lexa missed her. The blonde had messaged her and had asked if she was ok, because she hadn't been scheduled for any flights. Lexa had smiled at the concern and had called her instead of writing back. They had talked for a little while, mainly Clarke complaining about rude passengers and Lexa letting her rant, but eventually the flight attendant had had to go. Lexa couldn't wait to see her.

Christmas day finally came around and she got up way too early for her own liking, but the only air traffic control slot she had been able to secure for her flight was at six in the morning. She went through her routine, donned her uniform and made her way over to the airport. She'd only organised two flights for Grounder Airline today; one to Honolulu, for people who liked it warm and one to New York for the opposite reason. The Honolulu-Crew had been luckier; the flight had been scheduled at ten in the morning. Lexa envied them for the longer rest, but overall she had always liked the winter more for Christmas, and growing up in Boston had brought a lot of snowy holidays. She was looking forward to being in the cold again.

She walked down the gangway to their airplane and spotted her favourite person crouching in front of a row of trolleys checking the contents.

"Hi Clarke." Lexa slowly walked towards her with a bright smile. "Merry Christmas."

"Lexa. Hi. Merry Christmas to you too." Clarke smiled but turned her attention back to the task at hand. "I'm sorry, I just have to finish these before the food delivery guy runs off again. It's so hectic this morning. You wouldn't believe." She laughed.

"It's ok. I'm sorry for this."

"Not your fault, and you have to work as well."

"Well. I didn't know better…" If Clarke hadn't been so distracted she might have caught on to Lexa who looked truly guilty for having planned the flight. "But anyway." The pilot quickly raised her voice again. "New York will be beautiful."

"Yeah?" Clarke answered, standing up and fixing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Have you been?"

"Not at Christmas, but in winter." Lexa's eyes lit up at seeing Clarke's smile. "It can be magical." She added with a bright smile of her own.

"Ok. I am definitely looking forward to it now."

"I'm glad."

They stared at each other for another moment, before Lexa cleared her throat. "I've got to start the procedure, but I'd love a coffee with you if you have time before take-off?"

"I probably won't have time, but I'll bring you and Anya one in a little bit." She answered and started walking backwards down the middle of the plane, eyes trained on the pilot a smile playing on her lips. Lexa was eagerly watching her every move when Anya walked into the plane.

"Your gay is showing." She whispered, pressing herself past Lexa into the cockpit and effectively breaking the eye contact between the two.

"Happy whatever to you too." Lexa said and with a last glance and a smile at Clarke, she turned and closed the door.

Anya grinned at her. "You've been MIA since you called after you guys had your talk."

"Been occupied with company stuff."

"Company stuff?" Anya wriggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Yes." Lexa laughed.

"Ah, so no news on the Clarke front?"

"She messaged when she saw I hadn't been scheduled for flights. We talked a little. It was nice."

"So without any doubt she understands you're momentarily too occupied for pursuing a relationship, but makes it clear she waits for you?" Anya asked with a smile. "Seems like she thinks you're worth it."

"She never said anything like that." Lexa answered.

"She didn't have to. You can see it in her eyes."

The brunette didn't reply, sitting perfectly still lost in her own world.

"Just do me one favour?" Anya pulled her back to reality. "Don't make me regret helping you get back into her good graces. She's too precious to be played."

"I won't hurt her again, I promised you already." Lexa huffed out, but a sombre expression replaced her annoyance almost immediately.

"Good." Anya nodded. "Oh! Raven asked me what's going on between the two of you. My sweet girlfriend was outraged to be left in the dark because apparently Clarke wouldn't tell them anything."

"She didn't?"

"Not a word. Raven said, Clarke had said it was personal and she wanted to keep it to herself."

"Oh." Lexa looked at her and whispered more to herself than for Anya to hear. "She's too good to be true."

"She's good for you." Anya said before a knock at the door announced their coffees.

* * *

The flight itself was bumpy due to the winter conditions and both pilots were only focused on doing the job. Two hours into the flight Anya had addressed the cabin and asked for everyone to remain seated as they were expecting turbulence at any time. The cockpit remained silent for the rest of the flight leaving the entertainment to the cabin crew.

Once Lexa had landed the plane safely, they breathed out in relief.

"What a flight. I'm knackered." Anya said but took over from Lexa to park the plane.

"Tell me about it. Never been that hard."

"Well, don't fly at Christmas at an ungodly hour. Santa doesn't like it." Anya joked whilst Lexa leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes for a minute.

"Never again, if I can help it. It's not worth it. I see that now. My parents were right." She mumbled.

They parked up and the passengers were eager to start their holidays, quickly leaving the crew to be the only ones left.

"So…" Anya stepped out of the cockpit, hugging Raven slightly, who looked at her sympathetically. "Rough one?" She asked the pilot pulling her closer.

"Mmm…" Anya purred, leaning into the embrace. "Don't know what you guys are doing, but I'm heading over to the hotel to take a nap. You with me babe?"

"Sure."

"Which hotel are we in?" Harper asked.

"Probably the usual one… The Marriott just around the corner…" Monty replied with a shrug.

"Yeah, but you've never been to the 'Big Apple' at Christmas." Anya piped up with a grin.

"Oh you guys made some comment in the club." Octavia remembered. "So tell us then. This is ridiculous that we don't know already."

"It was meant as a 'thank you for your work' from the CEO." Lexa finally offered and all eyes zoomed in on her. "The rooms are in the Waldorf Astoria." She revealed with a small smile.

She'd really wanted to give the crew she had stolen Christmas from, a chance at a memorable holiday despite their work schedule. She had done the same for the employees who had had to fly to Honolulu.

" **The** Waldorf Astoria?" Raven asked surprised, stressing the 'the'.

"Is there another one?" Lexa laughed.

"Ok, we're leaving right now 'cos I want to enjoy all this hotel has to offer." Octavia walked off and everyone but Clarke followed, which made Lexa stop as well.

"What's wrong?"

"You think this gesture was because we complained so badly about having to work? I feel bad for causing such trouble to the CEO."

Lexa melted a bit more at the concern in Clarke's voice. "I'm sure she didn't mind and can afford it."

"It's a woman?" Clarke looked at her in astonishment.

"Um." Lexa looked uncertain. It surprised her that even her gender had remained out of the spotlight. "Yeah the Woods had a daughter."

"Oh, I didn't know. Everyone always talked about 'the child' or 'sole heir' I assumed it must be a man."

"As you do." Lexa cringed.

"Have you met her?"

"Clarke, Lexa you coming or not?" Raven hollered back to them and Lexa sighed in relief, leaving the plane quickly and walking to join the rest of the crew. To answer that question would have been awkward to say the least.

* * *

"Oh wow. They have a Spa and Fitness centre." Octavia gushed once they had entered the hotel and she had studied the amenities. "Shall we meet up later for dinner?"

They agreed on a time and place, before Raven and Anya walked off as soon as they had their room key. Monty and Harper vanished just as quickly leaving the remaining three women alone at the reception desk.

"What about you?" Octavia turned to Clarke. "You with me?"

"Sure, but I won't go to the fitness with you." She glared at her friend.

"Fine." The smaller brunette rolled her eyes in good measurement. "Spa it is."

Lexa chuckled to herself about the exchange between the two.

"What are you doing until dinner?" Clarke asked her.

"Don't know." She laughed. She had been so busy lately the prospect of a few hours without a meeting or conference or reading material left her uninspired.

Clarke looked at her in understanding, but before she could say anything the reception staff demanded her attention. "Your keys Ms Griffin." He handed her the card and Octavia pulled the blonde along to finally get upstairs.

"Watch a movie or sleep?" Clarke suggested before she was out of earshot.

"Maybe." She smiled back and watched them step into the elevator before she turned back to the desk and waited for her key.

* * *

"We should go out and see the city." Clarke said; gaze fixed on the Chrysler Building she could see from the window. She had quickly dumped her bag and had changed into warm comfortable clothes.

"I don't want to. It's cold and look it's started snowing." Octavia pouted. "What happened to the Spa?"

"It's not really snowing it's more like a flutter." Clarke argued but turned around to face her roommate. "I'm not in the mood for it, but you should go. I'll ask Lexa if she wants to tag along." She mumbled quietly. She'd contemplated, from the moment she'd learned Lexa had no plans, whether she should use her chance to spend time with her or let the brunette relax.

"Ah, wanna spend time with 'Hottie'?" Octavia teased her knowingly.

"Well… What's wrong with getting to know her?"

"Nothing's wrong." The brunette shrugged. "Have fun."

"Will you be ok on your own?"

"Clarke, stop worrying about others and focus on yourself. Message Lexa and see what she says. If she doesn't want to join, you could meet me in the Spa." Octavia proposed.

**Clarke (16:00): Hey. This might be a little forward, but I was wondering, since you said you had nothing to do, if you fancied some sightseeing?**

Lexa had just changed out of her uniform and had freshened up, when she heard her phone signalling a new text message. Her face brightened immediately when she read the few words.

**Lexa (16:01): I'm all yours. Where do you want to go?**

**Clarke (16:01): You're the one who's been to NY. Show me?**

"You're off the hook. Lexa agreed to come with me." Clarke hollered through their spacious room to Octavia who was in the bathroom.

"Ok. Don't be late for dinner."

"We'll meet you there."

"Laters."

**Lexa (16:01): Meet me in the lobby in five. It's cold outside, wear something warm.**

Clarke grinned, pulled out her scarf and beanie, shrugged into her jacket and quickly made her way to the entrance hall. She spotted Lexa waiting for her at the big staircase. She looked absolutely beautiful in her dark jeans and warm coat. She wore a long, red scarf, which she had wrapped around her neck and let hang loose over her shoulder. She smiled softly when she spotted Clarke.

"Thanks for joining me." The blonde said once she was close enough.

"My pleasure."

They both smiled brightly at each other.

"I'm glad you're not busy today."

"It's Christmas after all."

Clarke nodded with a grin. "Shall we?"

* * *

"For real?" Clarke looked puzzled at Lexa. They had walked down Madison Avenue from the hotel to the south entrance of Central Park and had strolled leisurely to the Wollman Rink and were currently watching people ice-skate.

"Yup." Lexa smiled, thoroughly enjoying the uninhibited joy and bemusement on Clarke's face. "People joke that if you see two women dressed in Victorian fashion on the ice in Central Park, you must call a ghost buster." She grinned and followed the blonde's gaze back to the people on the ice.

"Where does the tale come from?" Clarke asked, looking back at Lexa again unable to spot anyone meeting the description of the ghosts.

"Um…" She was taken aback by the beauty in front of her. Clarke's blonde hair was half hidden under a blue-grey beanie and her scarf covered the lower half of her face, but her eyes revealed the hidden smile. They looked at each other for another moment; curious eyes wandered over facial features until Clarke cleared her throat and nudged Lexa. "You there?" She asked the brunette.

"Yeah… yes. Sorry." Lexa's blush wasn't visible as her cheeks were red from the cold. "If I remember correctly the ghosts were two sisters who'd lived close by and loved skating ever since World War I." She finally finished the story.

"Have you -"

"- Seen them?"

Clarke nodded staring intensely at Lexa waiting for the answer.

She started to shake her head. "No never."

The blonde laughed out loud. "I wouldn't have believed you anyway."

"You're not the only one and real party-poopers love to point out that the rink was built in 1949."

"Oh no." Clarke was still laughing. "Someone should tell the sisters."

"Do you skate?" Lexa asked a moment later and watched the smile slowly disappear.

"When I was younger my dad used to take me to the Pershing Square. I haven't been in ages." Clarke answered and tried to keep unaffected by her memory.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to…" Lexa reached out and took the blonde's hand, caressing her softly.

"No worries. As I said it's been ages." The blonde answered gaze lowered on their clasped hands.

"Doesn't mean you're over it." Lexa mumbled, and squeezed Clarke's hand once more before letting go of her.

"I'm fine." She said with more conviction and looked up again; a small smile supported the trueness of her statement. "Do you skate?" She added.

"Ice-Hockey State Champion in High school and College."

"Of course you are." Clarke shook her head in disbelief, a grin growing on her face. "Anything you're not good at?"

With a shrug and a grin, Clarke couldn't help but swoon. The easiness between the two women settled back.

"Wanna give it a try?" Lexa asked nodding in the direction of the rink.

"If you want to see an impression of a potato sack on ice, sure let's do it."

"You'd look good even as a potato sack." Lexa said quietly, but Clarke heard her anyway and smiled bashfully at the brunette's words.

"Well, let's do it then."

* * *

"No, no, no, no." Clarke scream-laughed loudly, waving her hands erratically to keep her balance, but kept struggling until she felt strong hands on her hips stabilizing her, keeping her on her feet. She leaned slightly into the helpful embrace and let herself be pushed across the ice at a slow speed.

"Better?" Lexa asked, mouth close to Clarke's beanie covered ear, but she felt the breath gently caressing her cheek from the exhale of air. She turned her head to thank her saviour, but hadn't calculated Lexa would be this close. They again found each other in very close proximity. Clarke's eyes darted down to Lexa's slightly open mouth and the memory of the other night wormed its way in and they both simply smiled, before Lexa guided them to the side so Clarke could hold onto the railing.

"You've been warned." She laughed, trying to calm her heart.

"I'm not complaining, am I?" Lexa grinned, easing the uncertainty between them.

"So… how often have you been to New York?" Clarke asked curiously eager to change the topic.

"Well, I grew up in Boston, so it's only an hour by plane."

"You could afford regular flights when you grew up?" Clarke asked astonished. She herself had been nineteen when she had stepped onto an airplane for the first time. It had been her mum's attempt to convince her to go to medical school by bribing her with a trip to England.

"Well, my parents could afford it and I'm an only child." Lexa shrugged. "Probably their way of making up for leaving me alone."

"There are worse compensations, if you ask me." Clarke tried to ignore the sombre expression and returned the gesture from earlier and squeezed Lexa's hand. "So what did a young Lexa Hayes do in New York?"

Lexa looked up from her hand currently cradled in the blonde's warm one and met deep blue eyes watching her curiously. "After a couple of years I'd seen all the tourist things and started to explore the real city." The smile returned and she added. "Speaking of, wanna get going?"

"Sure."

Lexa helped her get off the ice and once they found an empty bench Clarke immediately took of the shoes, wriggled her toes and sighed in contentment. "I really don't get how you could spend any length of time in these." She glared at the footwear. "They're really hurt."

"I got used to the pain." Lexa laughed and gestured for Clarke to give her the skates. Clarke looked at her quizzically for another moment, before rolling her lips into her mouth and stopping herself from saying anything and instead handed her the shoes and watched her walk away.

* * *

"You want to see more of the park?" The brunette asked after she had given back the rented items and re-joined Clarke at the boards.

"Ok." The blonde nodded and let herself be led back to the snowy path. They walked in silence for a little while, Lexa enjoying the cold air and snow powdered trees and bushes before she stopped them, turning Clarke towards to her. "Hey, what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?" She asked softly.

Clarke smiled at the words and stopped in the middle of a bridge leaning against the banister. "Do you miss Boston?"

"I'm going back and forth, so no not really."

"Do you still have friends there?"

"I never had many. Back in the day it wasn't ok to be gay, but I never made a secret out of my orientation." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth either. She sighed.

"Did your parents accept you?"

"It took a while, but eventually they did. There were other things, more important matters they worried about. I can't really remember the last time I saw them. They were always somewhere else and never for too long at one destination."

"They sound just as busy as you." Clarke joked. "What were their professions?"

Lexa looked at her intensely, thankful for the unvoiced 'sorry' she usually got when she talked about her absent family. She wasn't really sure how much more she could reveal. On one hand she wanted Clarke to know everything about her, on the other she wondered if she knew her enough to trust she wouldn't turn into a nightmare. She had been there before.

"They created their own business. Both of them were involved in different positions." She slowly explained, jumping over the borders of her comfort zone.

"How come you haven't taken over their business if you're an only child? Not interested?" Clarke asked with a smile and Lexa blinked a few times.

'I can do this. I can trust her. I can be brave. She is not like everyone else.' She inhaled deeply and finally managed a quiet "I have."

As soon as the truth has left her mouth, Lexa felt her chest deflate painfully. Her heart was beating uncontrollably inside her chest, and the voice inside her screamed 'run'. She didn't, she remained rooted to the spot and carefully watched the blonde.

"Aaah, hence you being so busy. Gotcha." Clarke smiled but it vanished when she took in her expression. "Are you ok?"

"Yes." Lexa's mind went a million miles a second and her eyes nervously flickered over the blue in front of her. She licked her lips and tried to focus on her breathing.

"I don't believe you." The blonde stated after a moment, but shrugged at the same time indicating she'd drop the topic if Lexa wanted to. She had the feeling it was better to not pressure her any further as the pilot looked uncomfortable and ready to take off. Clarke watched her with concern, all the while berating herself for bringing up Lexa's parents. She didn't even know when they'd died. For all she knew, it could have been recently and she had been stupid to ask so many question of such a sensitive matter. Whatever her parents had left her to deal with certainly meant a lot to her, if she tried to handle her day job and their business. 'Maybe Lexa will tell me one day on her own accord,' she thought, and smiled before pointing over Lexa's shoulder to guide their conversation back to the stress-free. "Oh, look. Mulled wine."

Lexa had looked at her the whole time, trying to figure out what was going through her head, but had come up without any inclination of her train of thought. She watched her for another moment, eyes wide at the sudden change. She couldn't believe Clarke wouldn't say anything. 'Does she understand what I've just told her? Did she purposefully change the subject? Does it not bother her at all that I'm her boss?' Lexa could taste the sweat above her upper lip and felt her clothes clinging to her body. She was utterly lost in the enigma in front of her and so she went for the offered route back to easiness and turned to where the woman was pointing. 'Maybe Clarke just needs a little time to process?' For better or worse, Lexa wanted to give her that. "You want some?"

"Mm. Yes." Clarke smiled and pulled the still confused woman along. "My treat."

They enjoyed the hot beverage and Clarke had managed to push them into a heated debate whether hot chocolate or hot wine was the traditional winter drink, whilst they slowly meandered through the park, effectively distracting Lexa.

When they walked past the Metropolitan Museum of Art Lexa caught the interested look on Clarke's face. She remembered being told that the blonde had wanted to become an artist before her father's death. Unsure, if she should bring it up again she rattled off the current exhibitions in the museum, but leaving out the obvious question.

"Not my kind of art." Clarke said.

"What is your style?" Lexa jumped at the offered chance to talk about the topic nevertheless.

"I never really had a style. I loved doing abstracts as well as realistic paintings of people or landscapes. I even tried a little architectural drawing, but I've been told my house would collapse." She laughed. "Are you interested in art?"

It was easier for Lexa to open up, after she had practically told Clarke her biggest secret. "My parents made sure I was properly educated with an adequate balance between my interest for sport and their interest for the finer things in life. I learned to appreciate art."

"What kind of art do you like?" Clarke was even more intrigued by Lexa if that was entirely possible. She usually faced disinterest and ignorance, even teasing, whenever she talked about a painting or drawing she liked with her friends.

"I value any kind of art, but abstracts are really difficult for me to accept as such. A randomly placed dot of any colour on a differently painted canvas just doesn't speak to me as much as a picture of something I can relate to."

"I'll have you know it's really difficult to create such a simple piece with only two colours which should support each other, but at the same time fight for dominance." Clarke grinned.

"You mean the weirdly placed drop of colour should harmonize with the background but stand out as sore thumb?"

"Exactly." Clarke laughed.

"Naaah, sorry. Still think a first grader can paint better than that." Lexa grinned.

"Fair enough. Do you want to go in?"

"I'd rather go to the Guggenheim. Have you been?"

"No!" Clarke exclaimed excitingly. "Is it nearby?"

"Half a mile I'd guess." Lexa didn't need to ask upon seeing the bright eyes and big smile on the blonde's face. "Come on then."

"Have you been to it recently?" Clarke asked animatedly.

"Last time I've been was ages ago. Not the best memory though."

Clarke stopped herself from asking if she had been with her parents and remained silent. They reached the museum and quickly walked to the famous Thannhauser Gallery, which was located in the spiral part of the building.

"Can I ask you something?" Lexa broke the silence with her quiet question. Upon Clarke's nod she proceeded. "You told me you haven't painted for a long time. Have you never felt the urge to draw or paint anything again?"

"I have…" Clarke looked from the painting in front of her to Lexa. "It vanished again."

"What happened?" She asked, but immediately paddled back at the intimacy of the question. "You don't have to tell me of course if you -"

"My ex broke my heart and destroyed my muse." Clarke interrupted her, walking over to another painting. "Haven't found a new one." She glanced back over to Lexa who had followed her. "Yet."

The brunette nodded knowingly. She remembered Anya telling her about Clarke's story the day she had helped her at the airport to get rid of the ex-girlfriend. She then smiled at the one word indicating hope. "So you think you might start again?"

"Maybe."

"What was your muse?"

"Love, mainly. That warm feeling of home, of belonging. That light feeling of fulfilment and enrichment to my world. It gave me the ability to see beyond the obvious, to open up to the unexpected underneath the covers." She sighed and sauntered to the next painting. "For now, the world still looks a little dull and abrasive." She mused, unfocused before jolting out of her reverie and smiling sheepishly at Lexa. "Guess that doesn't make any sense." She shrugged.

"Surprisingly it does."

Clarke turned fully to look at her, eyes scanning her face for an unvoiced question. "Burnt by love too?" She finally asked.

"Destroyed and pulverised."

They grinned despite the graveness of their topic. They both knew it was in the past and they had moved on. They were both a little careful and scared, but neither had given up the prospect of being happy at some point in the future.

They remained silent for only a short time, before starting to share ideas and facts about the paintings and artists around them, and both completely lost their sense of time and had to be asked to leave as the museum was closing.

"Wow, that's the longest I've ever been with someone in a gallery. I'm usually dragged elsewhere after 20 minutes." Clarke laughed when they stepped out into the cold December night.

"I enjoyed your company as well as the pictures. Where else would I go if I could have both?" Lexa smiled and checked her mobile for the time. "We should get to the Rockefeller Centre to meet the others."

They hailed a taxi and within a few moments they were stood at the meeting point, waiting for the rest of the group.

"I had a great time." Clarke said quietly to Lexa, who stood close to her seeking the warmth and comfort she had provided for the last couple of hours. She looked over and got lost in the sincerity of Clarke's words reflected in deep blue eyes. "Thanks for everything." The blonde whispered.

"Me too." She managed. "Thanks for asking me to come along."

Clarke nodded and they simply smiled contently at each other when Octavia, who had sneaked up on them, ambushed the blonde. "Hey." She complained whilst her friend yelled. "You had fun?"

"Where have you been?" Raven had finally caught up and eyed Clarke's red face and shivering form. "Have you been out long?"

"We went for a walk." The blonde offered.

"We?" Anya looked at Lexa who looked equally frozen to the marrow.

"Little city tour…" Lexa answered evasively sensing the question was rhetorical anyway.

"Let's get you two in the warmth." The other pilot said instead of probing any further and they walked into the Rockefeller building to settle for food.

* * *

An hour later the group had warmed up and was enjoying their drinks after finishing their dinners in a comfortable silence, broken once in a while by an approving sound or mumble.

"That was amazing food." Raven said, leaning back, stroking her belly and looking at Clarke. "I can't believe you could eat that much."

The blonde just shrugged. "Hey I had some exercise in the form of walking and skating and shivering." She excused her hunger. "Besides, I haven't really eaten anything today."

"Fair point." Raven grinned naughtily and let her eyebrows dance suggestively when Anya slapped her, hissing "stop it".

"Oh come on guys." Clarke groaned once she understood the double meaning of her words, and hid her face behind her hands.

"What is it? Getting squirmy?" Raven laughed, when the blonde just flipped her off and took a big sip of her drink.

"Change of topic. It's still early, any ideas of what we could do?"

Clarke had never been more appreciative for Monty than in that moment and she smiled gratefully at him, but shook her head and looked over to her afternoon guide. Lexa rattled off a few attractions they could check out and the group quickly settled on visiting the Top of the Rock.

The line for the elevators had been long but after Lexa had talked to some men in suits the group was guided to the front and entered the lift within twenty minutes.

"How did she manage that?" Raven asked approvingly.

"The commander has her ways." Anya laughed and playfully pushed Lexa.

"The commander?" Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow.

"A story for another walk, maybe." Lexa answered, blushing.

They smiled at each other before everyone was distracted by the clear ceiling of the elevator cabin offering a light show.

It was busy on the observation desk, but they managed to get some great pictures and everyone was in awe of the view. Due to the cold winds they didn't stay long and found themselves again on the plaza. The group gathered around a table, which offered some warmth from an integrated heating system, enjoyed hot drinks and chatted animatedly when Monty laughed out all of a sudden.

"I just realised." He explained. "You guys are under the mistletoe." He pointed up and everyone followed the length of his finger and then dropped to the two people underneath, before turning and shooting daggers at the oblivious man. Anya had seen it earlier, but didn't want to spook Lexa and Raven and Octavia had simply ignored it, knowing the blonde didn't want their help.

Clarke had never been more ungrateful for Monty than in that moment and she grimaced helplessly at Lexa, who to the blonde's surprise smiled shyly at her. Clarke remembered their talk and Lexa's admission that she did like her and after watching the brunette for another frantic heartbeat, she leaned in whilst softly whispering "sorry" and pressed her lips purposefully but gently against Lexa's own. The brunette was too stunned to react in time and the kiss ended before she could reciprocate but it left her stunned and dazed and she kept standing in the middle of Rockefeller Plaza, eyes still closed, mouth slightly open and panting slightly, trying hopelessly to calm her heartbeat, when she heard a gasp of surprise followed by a voice she would recognise in a million different ones.

"Lexa?"

She slowly opened her eyes and turned towards the sound. "Costia." She spat out.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the drama begin... :)
> 
> Thanks to all your wonderful feedback. I simply can't get enough of it. Keep it going and hopefully you've enjoyed the update. I'll post soon again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear readers,
> 
> The past days have been very taxing and I understand that many of you are scared and worried. I just want anyone to know if you don't have a go to person, someone you can talk to about your fears, you can talk to me on tumblr (Jaansche).
> 
> Now, I would have loved to offer a cheesy happy chapter - however this is not it. The drama goes on, but rest assured Clexakru, you're safe with me. Clexa is endgame, but I love me some drama.
> 
> Now, enjoy the reveal...

Clarke furrowed her brows at the woman who had effectively stirred her out of her silent study of Lexa's face after she had kissed her. The brunette had been standing completely still, eyes hidden behind closed lids concealing any sign of how she'd felt, but Clarke had seen quick puffs of air leaving the sinful, plush lips, which had mesmerized her. 'I've stolen her breath.' Clarke had wished for another chance to breathe it back in, but Lexa had finally moved and glared wrathfully at the intruder.

"Costia."

All eyes were fixed on the stranger, but when Lexa revealed the identity, Anya stormed forward and pushed between her friend and the enemy.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She growled between clenched teeth.

"Oh wow. Who are you? Her guard dog?" Costia raised an eyebrow but stepped backwards.

"No, but someone who knows who you are. Get the hell out of here."

"Anya." Lexa put her hand on the blonde's shoulder, and with a soft squeeze moved her out of her way. "I can fight my own battles." She explained to her friend who eyed her confusedly. She smiled, but when she turned back to Costia it fell immediately and was replaced by an icy mask. "What do you want?"

"Lexa." The woman breathed almost intimately. "I just saw you and wanted to say hi."

"Bullshit." Lexa spat out in disgust. "I don't wish to talk to you and you know that."

"I'm sorry for your loss." If she was offended by the open hate rolling off of Lexa, Costia didn't show it and soldiered on. "Please. Give me a chance to talk? Coffee? Dinner? Boston or LA?"

The skin on Clarke's forehead wrinkled more and more showing remarkable creases along with an impressively clenched jaw. 'Who was this woman? What had been the deal between her and Lexa? How long ago was it?'

"Don't -" Lexa stopped, quickly turned around and smiled apologetically at the group letting her gaze linger a second longer on Clarke. "I'll see you guys later. Text me."

"Lexa?" Clarke stepped forward in confusion.

"Lexa!" Anya raised her voice in protest.

"Anya, please." They looked at each other for a moment, before the tall blonde nodded holding up her hands in defeat. "Fine."

Lexa looked at Clarke and smiled. "Later." She promised and turned around and walked off with Costia following her closely.

* * *

"Anya? Who was that?"

Once Lexa had stormed off, they'd decided to go back to the hotel and enjoy a few drinks at the bar. Monty and Harper had left them with some lame excuse of not having seen enough of 'Christmassy New York'.

Clarke had been silent on their way back, but now that everyone had settled she finally asked the question she had had on her mind since the encounter.

"She's Lexa's past."

"Ex-Girlfriend?" Clarke whispered dreading.

"Long time ago." Anya nodded. "The split hadn't been fluffy."

Clarke nodded and remained silent, sipping at her drink and Anya didn't dare to console her in case she'd slip something. She hadn't had a chance to ask Lexa about their afternoon. How much did Clarke now know?

"Speaking of fluffy." Raven leaned in with a wide grin. Leave it to her to change the subject with the purest intention to steer clear of awkwardness to only plunge them deeper into it. "Lexa and you?"

"Nothing happened." Clarke answered with a shrug.

"Hello? The kiss?" She looked at Clarke than let her gaze flit over to Anya. "The kiss?" Then to Octavia. "The kiss, guys?"

"Mistletoe induced touching of lips, if I recall correctly." Clarke clarified.

"Indeed-y." Raven smirked. "How was it?"

"Raven." Anya warned lowly. "Let the woman have some privacy. It's not our place to know."

"Hell no. I've been through all kind of shit with Griffin. We tell each other things." Raven pouted.

"Fine." Clarke smiled the first time since they had left the square to get out of the cold. "Her lips are as soft as summer rain and as addictive as cocaine."

"Aaaaw."

"Happy now?"

"Very."

Anya smiled softly at Clarke, knowing Lexa would probably say the same.

"Anyway." The blonde blushed. "Can we stop talking about it now?"

"Sure."

They also avoided the other obvious topic and changed to small talk. Clarke only half listened to the conversation around her. She had messaged Lexa some time ago, informing her they were at the bar. She hadn't heard back from her. 'What does this mean?'

* * *

They'd walked for a few minutes; Lexa had been heading towards Sixth Avenue and away from Clarke and her fellow colleagues. She had had no desire to be alone with her devious and malicious monster of an ex-girlfriend, but she had been more afraid of her revealing something about Lexa's background to the rest of the group. It had been one thing to tell Clarke, as she had proven herself worthy of keeping secrets, but the others hadn't been too positive about Lexa's latest decisions and the brunette much rather explained it herself.

"Lexa wait."

"Seriously. You can't pop up like a Jack in the box and expect me to be happy about it."

"Listen Lexa, I -"

"No, Costia. Now you pay attention to me as I'm done listening." Lexa interrupted her coldly. "What you have done to me is inexcusable and probably the worst thing you could do to someone you had once claimed to love. I'm done with you and anything that comes out of your mouth. So unless your next words are 'Goodbye', I doubt we have anything to discuss." Lexa turned to leave, but felt a hand stopping her pursuit of an escape.

"I just want to be friends with you."

Lexa wielded around quickly and shook off the limb. "You've got to be kidding."

"It has been a long time Lex. Not everything we shared had been bad." She smiled warmly.

Lexa looked at her with wide eyes in utter disbelief. "You are the most delusional woman I've ever had the displeasure of meeting."

"I know it's too late, but I'm sorry." Costia said quietly.

"Yeah you're right. It's too late and I don't believe you."

"Lexa please."

"No Costia. Do us both a favour and lose my number." Lexa finally got away without being stopped. She stumbled through the streets of New York, flustered and raging. The desire to punch her ex-girlfriend's lights out pulsated through her veins, thickened her blood and fuelled her to the point she couldn't think clearly anymore. She made her way back to the hotel, changed and went to the gym.

"Fuck you." She yelled after a quick salve of hits against the punching bag. She grimaced at the accusing stares of the few others in the room, but didn't stop serving punch after punch and kick after kick to the unmoving heavy bag. "Fuck you for doing this to me. Fuck you for interrupting Clarke and I. Fuck you for existing." She growled out between each contact of her hands with the rigid leather. "I. Fucking. Hate. You." She yelled once more with a painful punch between each word.

She then stopped and dropped unceremoniously to the matt inspecting her scraped and bloody knuckles.

"Impressive."

"Anya? Where is Clarke?" Lexa jumped up immediately.

"Easy tiger. The three musketeers are in the bar. Thought Clarke had told you?"

"Oh. Is she ok?"

"Is she ok?" Anya imitated. "Seriously?"

"What?"

"Look at you." The blonde pointed to her hands. "Are you ok?"

Lexa nodded but remained silent, poking carefully at her skin. "What did you tell Clarke? I'm sure she asked you?"

"Didn't tell her much, just that she was an ex and you've split in anger."

"That's one way to put it."

"Well, I didn't know how much you would want me to tell her. Besides, it should come from you, if at all."

Lexa only nodded and after a moment suddenly asked curiously. "How did you know -"

"-You were here?"

Lexa nodded again.

"I went for the loo and someone complained at the desk about an angry woman destroying hotel property in the gym. Figured this could only be you."

"You're not funny."

"I don't mean to be."

"You're serious?"

"Yeah, and unless you want to explain your little outburst, I'd advise you and I should get going quickly."

They left and headed for the elevators. "I'll quickly stop by to let them know you're back safe." She looked at her friend. "Clarke was worried."

"Ok. Meet you in my room." Lexa said guiltily before the doors closed. Anya went back to the bar and did as she'd told Lexa.

"Is she ok?" Clarke got up immediately.

"Funny, she asked the same about you." Anya smiled softly. "But to answer your question she's a bit rattled. I'll talk to her. Don't worry."

Clarke wanted to protest, but seeing that Anya and Lexa had been friends for a long time and the other blonde knew the story about the mysterious woman from earlier, she backed down and simply nodded.

Anya kissed Raven whispering "don't wait up" and left the three once more.

"What do you mean don't wait up?" Raven growled at the retreating form but turned to Clarke a second later. "I swear, since your girlfriend came to work for Grounder too, mine is more occupied with her than with me."

"Not my girlfriend."

"Tomato, tomato. It's only a matter of time."

"Hopefully." Clarke admitted with a shy smile.

"I knew it."

* * *

"So? What did the devil want?"

Anya asked as soon as Lexa had let her in.

"Believe it or not, she wants to be friends." Lexa answered sarcastically.

"Is she for real?" Anya pulled her friend closer to the light to examine the grazed skin. "You believed her?" She took out the disinfectant.

Lexa snorted but hissed immediately after at the stinging sensation on her hands

"Well, shut up and take it like a champ."

"No need to be rude. I wasn't going to say anything."

"How did the conversation end?"

Lexa recapitulated the argument with Costia and Anya listened with a grim expression.

"I swear if I ever see her again, I'm going to hurt her. Badly."

"No need to get your white vest tarnished."

"Anyway, all fixed." Anya tapped softly on Lexa's fingers. "How do you feel?"

"Calmer."

"Ok. Wanna talk about Clarke?"

"She kissed me." Lexa grinned like a child at Christmas.

"I know, I was there." Anya grinned too at the sudden change in her friend.

"Clarke is…" Lexa hesitated.

"Crazy about you." Anya finished for her.

"You think?"

"Lexa, please don't ever pretend you're not aware that woman is head over heels for you."

"No, and…" She put her patched hand behind her neck. "I told her about me."

"What?" Anya dropped the first aid kit and sat down next to her. "What did you say? How did she react?"

"Well I told her I've taken over my parent's business and she nodded and asked if I wanted mulled wine." Lexa said with a shrug.

"Hold on. Rewind. What exactly did you tell her?" Anya asked confused at Clarke's reaction.

"Well we'd been talking about my childhood experiences in New York and I told her about how my parents were only making up for their absence by spoiling me with the trips." Lexa recalled. "Um, then she joked they were just as busy as I was and asked about what made them so occupied and I thought at this moment that I wanted to tell her everything. I mean…" She raked one hand through hair and hissed at the pain but went on after a moment. "You've seen her. She looked so stunning tonight." Lexa eye's glazed as she went down memory lane.

"Lexa, come back and finish your god damn story." Anya snapped her fingers in front of the brunette.

"Um… anyway. I told her they'd established their own business."

"And?"

"She asked why I hadn't inherited and taken over the company."

"Yes?" Anya was on the edge of her seat.

"I said I had."

Anya only shook her head and gestured for Lexa to continue.

"She was silent for a moment and then pointed to the stand with the hot drinks."

"Ok. Have you been as vague to her as you just have to me?"

"Huh?"

"Have you mentioned the words 'Grounder Corporation' or 'Grounder Airline' in the description of your parents' business?"

"No…" Lexa drawled.

"She still has no clue." Anya pushed up disappointed and walked to the window. "From what you've told me, she can't know who you are."

"But it's so obvious, isn't it?"

"To you maybe. To her?" Anya shook her head vehemently. "I doubt she got what you meant."

"Oh? What else is there to think? I'm a pilot for Grounder Airline and I told her I've taken over the business of my parents who have died, just like the former owners of Grounder airline." Lexa defended herself. "I'm sure she knows."

"Why didn't she say something?"

"Because she's cool with it and it doesn't bother her at all?"

"Or because she didn't understand."

They looked at each other.

"Maybe she just needs some time? She did kiss me."

"Yeah." Anya sighed but started to smile again. "How was it?"

"Heavenly." Lexa grinned, having all but forgotten the possibility of Clarke not knowing.

"You are ridiculous."

"Whatever."

"You ok to be on your own?"

"Yeah, yeah. Go to your girl."

"I'll see you tomorrow." Anya opened the door. "I'm happy for you, you know that right?" She meant it.

"Thanks."

Anya mock saluted and closed the door behind her. Lexa stared at her bandaged hands cursing herself for her stupidity but ultimately knew she had needed to have the exercise. The boiled up anger, frustration and rage had to come out. She could still wiggle her fingers under the plasters and sighed. At least she wouldn't need to call in sick and have another pilot come to New York to take over. She was able to fly.

A pinging noise got her out of her foggy state and she turned to a heedlessly discarded coat.

**Clarke (23:12): I hope you're ok. If you need someone to talk to I'm here. Text or call or I could come over?**

She sighed, happy to hear from the blonde. The worry in the text made her feel warm all over. Clarke really cared so much was obvious, but having her coming over was no option if Anya had been right and she still didn't know. Lexa felt emotionally too exhausted to go through the heart palpitations once more.

**Lexa (23:13): I'm sorry for everything. I haven't seen her in a long time. We didn't part amicably.**

Lexa knew Anya had told her that much already, but she wanted to tell her herself to make sure Clarke wouldn't unnecessarily question the brunette's feelings.

**Clarke (23:13): Anya told me. I'm sorry.**

**Lexa (23:13): Don't be. It's past.**

**Clarke (23:14): I'm glad to hear that.**

**Lexa (23:14): I had a great time with you. We should do that again.**

**Clarke (23:14): The kissing or the sightseeing? ;-)**

Lexa blushed at the reply. 'I've walked right into that.' Although Lexa had meant spending the day together, she couldn't get Clarke's soft lips out of her head.

**Lexa (23:15): Both.**

This time it was Clarke who blushed and she turned away from Octavia. They had come upstairs shortly after Anya had left and Raven had gone to her own room hoping Anya wouldn't stay the night at Lexa's. She hadn't meant to be too flirty or pushy, but the opportunity had called for it.

**Clarke (23:16): Me too.**

Unknowingly to each other they both grinned stupidly at their phones. At least they were on the same page again.

**Lexa (23:16): Pity we've agreed to sightseeing with the others tomorrow…**

**Clarke (23:17): Yes…**

They both cursed the existence of the world they we living in, but as they couldn't change the given, they needed to do the best of it.

**Lexa (23:17): Oh well…**

**Clarke (23:17): Yeah… some other time?**

**Lexa (23:17): Definitely.**

Clarke really wanted to go over to Lexa's and continue what they had been doing earlier, hoping for reciprocation on the brunette's part, but she knew they both needed to get rest as they had a long day ahead with sightseeing and then the flight back home in the early evening. Plus, Lexa had asked for them to go slow. Going over would be anything but slow.

**Clarke (23:18): We should probably sleep…**

If Clarke were here, with her, in one room with a bed and just the two of them – Lexa couldn't trust herself to do the right thing.

**Lexa (23:18): We should…**

It was clear to both they found it quite difficult to say goodnight.

**Clarke (23:18): Ok…**

**Lexa (23:18): Ok… I'm going to be the brave one. ;-) Sleep well Clarke.**

**Clarke (23:19): Thank god you are. :-) Sweet dreams. X**

**Lexa (23:19): X**

Clarke was still grinning, when she plugged in her charging cable and checked her alarm.

"Wow. Am I a witness to you two sexting?" Octavia sleepily murmured from next to her, having waited for Clarke to finish texting.

"I swear, you hang out too often with Raven."

"Maybe." She shrugged. "You guys ok though?"

"Yup."

"Ok. Ready to sleep?" Octavia wanted to know more, but she wasn't Raven, and knew when to stop digging.

Instead of an answer Clarke switched off the light, snuggled into her blanket and wondered if Lexa felt as happy as she did, before closing her eyes and falling asleep.

She was. Once they had stopped talking, Lexa had laid back on her bed and had stared at the ceiling. Despite the downer of Costia walking back into her life, even though it had only been a few minutes, she was giddy with excitement about the prospect of getting to know Clarke more and more. It took her longer than usual, but her excessive workout earlier had her falling asleep eventually.

* * *

"Statue of Liberty."

"Central Park."

"Empire State Building."

"Times Square."

"Greenwich Village."

They had met up for breakfast the next morning and were discussing what to see in the short amount of time. They had to be back at Newark International Airport at five in the afternoon, as they had to prep and prepare.

"There's a sightseeing bus stop around the corner." Lexa suggested. "This way you guys could see Central Park, Times Square, Empire State, Greenwich and stop to go over to Liberty Island."

"Are you paid by the company to make advertisement?" Raven joked.

Lexa laughed shortly but shook her head. "No, I figured you guys wouldn't know what to do and checked the route."

"Wow, wholly prepared and all." Anya teased. "Did a certain blonde make you restless?" She whispered.

"Shut up." Lexa hissed back with a grin.

In the end they did exactly that. This way they saw all the sights but remained warm and cosy and the cabin crew could rest their legs, as they would walk their fair share later the day. They decided to stay on the bus for a whole tour before going passed their hotel and exit the bus at the Battery Park stop to visit the Statue.

Octavia sat next to the window and Clarke next to her, Anya and Raven where cuddled up behind them and Monty and Harper sat on the other side, with Lexa in front of them. Lexa leaned against the window, not really bothered by the views and sights watching Clarke enjoying them. The blonde glanced over a few times and smiled at her and Lexa's heart would skip a beat. This was by far the best Christmas she had ever had in her thirty years of life.

It was lunchtime by the time they got off the bus at the south end of Lower Manhattan and Lexa guided them over to one of the many food stalls to make them try real New Yorker Hotdogs. Afterwards they went over to Liberty Island.

"Did you know that the green colour is the result of weathering of the copper they used to cover the statue?" Lexa whispered into Clarke's ear, when they exited the boat and walked towards the impressive monument.

"Did you know…?" Clarke turned towards the brunette, whose eyes immediately flew to the blonde's lips and back up to meet amused blue eyes. She gulped visibly at their close proximity, before starting again in a significantly raspier voice. "Did you know, that the crown has seven rays, one for each continent?" Lexa smiled knowingly and nodded watching Clarke biting her lip and releasing a shuddering breath. "Ok… that's all I know about her." She admitted after a moment.

Lexa cleared her throat and nervously rattled off all the facts she knew. If the others hadn't been around, she would have taken Clarke's hand to pull her in for a desperate kiss. Unfortunately for both, they weren't alone and Lexa didn't risk doing what she desired.

'How the hell am I going to find out, if Clarke understood what I've told her about me?'

They followed the others, who had queued to get up when Clarke stopped them.

"Lexa? Can I ask you something?"

The pilot looked back at her. "You never have to ask Clarke." She smiled and prepared herself for the question she expected since their 'dare she call it' date.

"What happened to your hands?"

Nope, this wasn't the question Lexa had thought, hoped and wanted to hear.

"Um…" She had thought she had hidden her fingers successfully in her gloves. "I…"

"You know, I can kinda tell that you had a run in with a punching bag. I know the wounds. I had them a few times myself."

"How come?" Lexa thankfully jumped onto the insinuated deflection.

Clarke looked at her narrowing her eyes, but instead of calling her out, she answered truthfully. "Niylah had the ability to corner me in a way that the only outlet for me to get rid of the frustration would be punching till I can't feel my hands anymore."

"I get the impression we had the same partner." Lexa offered.

"I know you said yesterday it's been and gone, but if you're still so angry then there clearly are unsolved issues still lurking around."

"Not unsolved, just unlawful."

"Sue her."

Lexa turned to her with a sceptical look. "Have you ever sued an ex-lover?"

Clarke shook her head.

"I don't love her anymore, but -" Lexa tried to assure the blonde, but she interrupted her.

"But you're held back by your shared past?" Clarke asked emphatically.

"Kind of like that." Lexa answered. She didn't want to talk to Clarke about Costia. She just wanted to forget about that person and start fresh.

"Ok." Clarke said after a moment. She again decided to not push for more. She had learned in her last relationship to give time and be patient. Niylah had gone off the handle whenever Clarke accused her of cheating, until it had been true. A small part in Clarke thinks, she had pushed her ex into the arms of the passenger with her constant digging and questioning.

They quickly made their way over to the rest of the group before they could disappear into the statue. Once they had climbed the many steps they enjoyed the view, before they realised they had to return to reality and get to the airport.

* * *

Once they had finished boarding and had received their good to go signal, they arrived in LA less than seven hours later.

"Hey Lex, what are you doing New Year?" Anya asked when they parked up.

"Don't know. I've got so much still to do until the meeting in two weeks. I have to go to Boston at one point too. You?"

"Probably with Ray and her friends. You sure you don't want to hang out with us?"

"I don't know. Can we keep it spontaneous?"

"Yeah sure."

An hour later Lexa found Clarke waiting at the gate.

"Hey." She greeted her smilingly. "The other's left without you?"

"I'm going home anyway." The blonde explained. "Was waiting for you."

"Why?"

"This might stretch our agreement to take it slow…" She stepped closer to Lexa. "… but I was wondering what you're doing for New Year?"

"Anya asked me already." Lexa swallowed the dry lump in her throat.

"And what did you tell Anya?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"And what are you telling me?"

Blue eyes locked with green orbs and their bodies slowly gravitated towards each other. Clarke reached out and interlaced their hands.

"Tell me when and where and I'll be there?" Lexa whispered; eyes focused on full red lips a few inches away from hers. She wanted to lean forward and close the distance between them, but the uncertainty of the correctness of their situation held her back.

"Is that a question or your answer?" The tempting cherry inked mouth was pulled into a smirk.

"My answer." Lexa nodded as if she needed to convince herself.

"As long as you're sure?" Clarke grinned cheekily and finally stepped back out of Lexa's personal space. "I don't want to be held responsible for you missing your crazy party." Clarke wanted to kiss her so badly, but she wanted Lexa to initiate it this time. She needed her to make the next step.

"I would stay home and go to bed. I'm not a big fan of the festivities." Lexa released the breath she had held in.

"Oh?" Clarke furrowed her brow and cocked her head.

"I've got a lot on my plate, but I'll try to be there." Lexa evaded the question lurking in the interjection.

"I'll message you when I know where we'll be. Keep me posted as well?"

"Of course."

"Thanks for today. It was fun." Clarke finally pulled completely away and Lexa missed her fingers between her own almost as badly as the blonde's lips on her mouth. They eventually turned towards the exit and separated when they reached the sliding doors.

* * *

New Year came and Lexa was stuck in Boston. She had flown over to meet with the board members who couldn't come to the official meeting in a week. She presented the facts and numbers and declared their aims for the New Year. She showed them a timeline of how she wanted to achieve that. By the time she was done, she had been told that all planes had been cancelled due to a snowstorm.

She had sighed longingly and had called Clarke to inform her. The blonde had been disappointed, but understood without questioning why she had had to go to Boston to start with. Clarke reasoned she had been on a scheduled flight, which was now cancelled. She hadn't bothered to study the flight plan, as she hadn't been on duty for the last day of the old year. If she had, she wouldn't have found Lexa's name on it. The pilot had been a passenger.

Now they sat miserably, separated by a whole country and three hours' time difference, Clarke amongst friends and Lexa alone in a hotel room.

The brunette didn't mind being on her own, as she really wasn't bothered by the whole change of December to January fuss, but she couldn't deny her disappointment at not being able to be with Clarke though. However, she suspected Anya had been right and Clarke was still in the dark about her identity and with this realisation she reasoned it had been for the best to not be around for the celebrations. She had wanted to come clean, but she simply hadn't had time and the courage to do it again. In her books, she had gone through the nightmare already and the prospect of repeating was daunting and not at all desirable. She hoped at this point that Clarke would understand once she got introduced at the meeting.

Her phone chimed and Lexa looked over from her laptop.

**Clarke (23:55): Are you busy celebrating?**

**Lexa (23:56): I'm on my own.**

She didn't receive an answer for the next minute and thought Clarke had been distracted by someone, but then her phone rang.

"Clarke?"

"Hi."

"Hi."

They were silent for a moment, before Clarke cleared her throat. "I really wish I could be with you."

"I'm really sorry. I can't change the weather." Lexa tried to make a joke to lift Clarke's grave mood.

"I know. Two minutes till New Year for you."

"Yes."

"What are your resolutions?"

"Being happy?"

"Are you not happy at the moment?" Clarke sounded very sad and it broke Lexa's heart.

"Well, I'm on my own, so…" She said eventually.

"One minute. I hope you find happiness Lexa."

"Clarke? Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Do you watch the ball drop?"

"No."

"It's 30 seconds."

"Ok. Where did you end up going?"

"We're at Raven's. Nothing special. 15 seconds."

"I can't believe this year has passed already. In the beginning I thought it'd never end."

"10."

"Clarke?"

"8."

"I really wish I could be with you right now."

"6." A pause. "Why?"

"I'd get to -"

"4."

"- kiss you -"

"2."

"- again."

She could hear the quick intake of air at the other end of the line. They had never talked about the kiss and Clarke had started to believe it hadn't meant as much to the brunette as it had to her. She finally smiled. "Happy New Year Lexa."

"I'll wish you the same once it's happened for you."

"It would be three in the morning though."

"Are you happy Clarke?" Lexa repeated the blonde's question eager to hear her answer.

She was quiet as if she had to think about it. "I could be." She whispered eventually.

"What do you need?" Lexa couldn't stop herself knowing she shouldn't ask such questions.

"If you don't know by now..." Clarke trailed off.

She wondered if her heart could speed up any faster at Clarke's admission. She wanted to yell in ecstasy but remained silent.

"Well, I called to be with you at midnight. Now I've overstayed my welcome."

"You never could."

"Anyway, I think Raven called." Clarke lied. She just needed an excuse to get off the phone. She had said more than she wanted to. Stupid alcohol. She should never drink. She just hoped she hadn't pushed Lexa further away instead of pulling her in. She did admit to have wanted to kiss her or did she just dream that?

"Clarke? Are you ok?"

"Yeah, gotta go. Take care and again, happy New Year."

Before Lexa could say anymore, she was greeted with the sound of silence. "Clarke?" She checked her phone and realised the blonde had hung up.

"I'm such an idiot."

The need to call her back to tell her that she wanted her just as much was almost insurmountable and she had already searched for the blonde in her contact list, but eventually she dropped her phone and the screen went black after a minute.

One week and counting, until she would see her again.

One week and counting, until she knew for sure who Lexa really was.

One week and counting, until she could be with her officially.

* * *

One week went by quicker then she anticipated and Lexa paced nervously up and down her office. She would be driven to the venue just shortly before she was needed.

She had messaged Clarke at her midnight a week ago and had wished her all the happiness in the world, but she hadn't received a message back.

Anya had called her the next day and she had asked her about the blonde. Apparently Clarke had left the party way before midnight claiming to have a headache.

Due to her busy schedule she had not been able to see or talk to Clarke in person and any message she had sent had been unanswered until yesterday when the blonde had asked her if she was coming to the meeting.

Lexa had replied that she'd meet her there and repeatedly asked if Clarke was ok and she had finally answered that she was just tired.

Now on top of her revealing her identity to everyone she also worried she had lost her.

"Ms Woods? I'm your driver." A young man announced his presence.

There was nothing else she could do at that point. Her speech was written, her presentation ready to go, but her nerves were nowhere near on point. She wiped her hands nervously over suit pants when the driver opened the door for her. The drive would take about 40 minutes and Lexa tried to relax and not to think about what the evening might bring.

* * *

"Wow. You guys look awesome."

"Well it did state evening attire on the invitation." Raven huffed, pulling at her dress.

"You look beautiful too Anya." Clarke complimented back.

They had arrived on time and were currently enjoying some champagne and doing small talk with regional managers or colleagues from other cities. She once in a while checked the entrance for the woman she had missed way too much.

After her call at New Year, Clarke had tried to distance herself from Lexa. She felt stupid for falling for the woman, who clearly did not share the same feelings or at least not to the same extent. She had cursed herself for letting down her barriers and giving Lexa an inside look on her soul. She never wanted her to feel pressured, but Clarke couldn't help it that she wanted the pilot the more the longer they were hanging in the limbo. She wanted to talk to her tonight. She wanted to tell her that she would like to date her and if Lexa had any restrictions to the idea Clarke would call it off and try to stitch her heart back together. Better to be in the clear than to not know where she stood with her.

"Anya, have you seen Lexa?" Clarke had waited as long as she could, but the woman was still missing and by the itinerary of the meeting it was almost time for the owner of the business to come up and officially open the annual conference.

"She'll be here any minute."

"But it'll start soon."

"She'll be here. Don't worry."

Clarke looked over to the entrance once more and sighed to herself. Maybe it wasn't intelligent anyway to chase after someone who clearly was even busier than her and she was a flight attendant who was jetting through the world rather than living at her so called home.

**Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the new CEO of Grounder Airline and the owner of Grounder Cooperation, Lexa Woods.**

Clarke slowly turned back to the front and saw the woman she had spent the majority of her spare time thinking of walking onto the stage with a bright smile and little wave.

"Good evening." She started and Clarke's mouth dropped open. "Thank you for the kind introduction, but I believe some of you have already met me." A murmur went through the audience. "Fucking hell, is she for real?" Raven hissed and turned to Clarke who stood mesmerized with wide eyes and watched the scene unfold in front of her. Lexa explained, that in order to understand her parent's business she had decided to go in undercover, meet different teams, fly different planes and learn from within what her people were concerned about, or wanted to change. She had met some incredible personalities and thanked again each and every one who worked for her parents for their support in the difficult time. She then went on and tried to show the same presentation she had given a week back to the board members, but somehow it wasn't found.

Lexa looked flustered and confused at the situation and for a moment Clarke thought she would leave, but the brunette soldiered on and talked about the future perspective of the airline, explained the annual aims and finished her talk by opening the buffet. People from various positions flocked towards the stage to talk to her whilst others started to complain of being played and used. One of them was Raven.

"I can't believe this." She turned to Anya with a stern lock. "I guess you knew?"

"Listen Raven, you need to understand her. She had never worked for her parents, she had always tried to stay out of the limelight, but after their deaths she had been forced to take over and she had wanted to do the right thing." Anya had addressed the last words to Clarke, who still stood rooted to the same spot.

"What I need to understand -" Raven started but was cut off.

"She told me." Clarke finally reacted in a surprised tone. "Oh my god. She told me and I didn't understand."

"She told you?" Raven's anger was replaced by utter surprise. "Why haven't you told us?"

"She didn't know." Anya interrupted.

"No, Anya." Clarke stopped her. "She really told me. I'm such an idiot."

"Yes, she told you but she also didn't tell you. Please don't be angry with her."

"I'm not angry, but I need to talk to her." Clarke looked around.

"She'll surely come to you. I know she's been eager to tell you."

Clarke nodded and glanced back at the stage where people had suddenly started arguing loudly about mistreatment and deception. In a matter of minutes, the commotion got out of hand and Clarke could see Lexa being escorted out of the room and her sight. She quickly put her glass down, but by the time she had managed to weave through the throng of people, Lexa was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

Costia leaned at the wall of the hotel and waited. She had expected the animosity towards her, hell she would not have been surprised if Lexa had actually punched her, when she had approached her in New York. She grimaced at the memory of the argument, but nothing would stop her from doing what she had been asked.

_Two weeks earlier_

" _Costia Greene?"_

" _Speaking." She said curiously into her mobile, an unknown number had called her late in the evening. "Who are you?"_

" _I know what you most desire." The voice ignored her question._

" _Which is?"_

" _Unlimited access to money and wealth."_

" _Who doesn't?"_

" _I also know you're running low."_

_Costia furrowed her brows. "How? Who are you?"_

" _I just know." The voice answered. "If you do what I want you to do I promise you enough money to last a life time. Are you in?"_

_She contemplated for a mere second. Whatever this stranger wanted, she'd manage. She knew it. "What do I have to do?"_

" _Get back in touch with Lexa Woods. You need to get her to spend time with you."_

_Costia blanched at that request. She had never thought to hear that name ever again. "That'll be difficult." She pressed out._

" _I know you can do it. You manipulated her for four years to get what you want. This is a piece of cake for you."_

_She coughed. 'What the fuck?' "Who the hell are you? How do you know that?" Costia asked again, internally freaking out at the amount of intelligence that person had on her._

_She heard an ice-cold chuckle on the other end. "My name is Nia Izard." She waited a heartbeat, before she added in the same cold, deadly voice. "If you tell anyone about this or me, you'll be counting the days. Am I making myself clear?"_

_Costia nodded dazed. "Crystal." She whispered when she realised the woman couldn't see her._

She shook herself out of the unpleasant remembrance, when she saw a black car approaching the hotel and stopping in front. The door opened and Lexa climbed out and headed for the entrance. Costia pushed herself off the wall and quickly walked towards her. It was time for her to work her magic.

"Lexa?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo... stay tuned. This story will have it's final chapter in two weeks and an additional epilogue because I always have ideas for an outlook.
> 
> Take care of you guys. We are important and we matter.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. Alright. So last chapter had you guys very frustrated and I apologize for that. Without further ado... Here's the newest installment and your agony might just be cured...

* * *

 

"What the hell?" Lexa wheeled around when she heard her name falling from the lips of the one woman she'd never wanted to ever see again. "What part of 'I don't want to talk to you' did you not get?" She growled.

"Lexa, please." Costia smiled softly, hoping to take the anger down a notch, but Lexa narrowed her eyes suspiciously at her.

"What do you want?" She hissed through her clenched jaw.

"A drink at the bar?" She suggested still smiling.

"Well, have one then." Lexa pushed past her, finally entering the building and headed towards the elevators.

"You look like you could use one too?" Costia stepped into her path.

Lexa only huffed at the proposition and sidestepped the woman.

"Just one. I'll pay." Costia probed again with a genuine smile.

Lexa stopped and turned back towards her, clearly contemplating and finally nodding once. "One drink. You pay. Don't talk to me."

Costia sighed, but agreed to Lexa's condition. She didn't need her talking. She just had to spend time with her. "Fine by me." She said happily and gestured to the hotel's bar.

* * *

Clarke had looked everywhere for the brunette, but had come back empty handed. Anya had put her arm around her shoulder for a gentle hug. "She'll be ok. Don't worry." She tried to reassure her. She looked at the smaller woman carefully, considering her. "You know, she wanted to experience the company with her own eyes."

Clarke looked up from her phone, watching her with interest. "Makes sense." She agreed.

Anya nodded and took a sip from her champagne. "When her parents died, she wasn't ready to shoulder the responsibility and lose her privacy at the same time. She had been through some crazy shit when she was younger and she had simply been afraid to step up."

"I understand that, I really do and you know what, Anya?" Clarke paused to take a sip as well. "I think she gave me the rare gift of getting to know her without the burden of her name. I met a kind, caring, interesting, beautiful woman, whom I might not have gotten to know in that way if she had told me from the beginning who she was. I mean let's be honest; it would have never been the same if I had known she's my boss." She shrugged at her words. "I feel a little stupid looking back, but I'm glad I've got to get to know her. She's magnificent." She sighed.

"Do you mind that she's the boss?" Anya probed.

Clarke stopped with her glass against her lips. After a heartbeat she shook her head negatively. "It's weird, I can't really see her as such, but I guess she can't see herself as the number one either. She seemed so content being a pilot. It suited her. I would never have questioned it."

"It was always her dream to fly. Ever since her parents had started building their company and she had grown up at airports she had wanted to become a pilot."

"I can see it makes her happy. I wish she could be what makes her happy. She's an incredible woman. I'm so glad I've had the chance to see the real her."

"She never wanted to take over, but she also couldn't let her parents' legacy rot away."

"She's selfless, caring so much about something from two people who hadn't appreciated her as much as they should have." Clarke almost whispered, words only intended for Anya to hear.

"You've met them." The taller blonde stated.

Clarke nodded, unable to grasp the difference between the warm and engaged former owners of the airline and Lexa's parents. "It's unbelievable those were the same people though."

"I know." Anya acknowledged and after another sip she talked a little louder for the rest to hear. "You're really special Clarke. Anyone else would have skyrocketed at being kept in the dark…" She side glanced at Raven who grimaced at the remark. "… but you only see the beauty behind." Anya shook her head, relieved.

"I personally don't think she did anything wrong." Clarke pointedly added to Anya's statement and Raven started nodding. "She never played with my feelings. I always knew what I could expect from her."

"Ok, guys. I get you. I'm sorry for my outburst, but you've gotta see this from our perspective." She pointed to Octavia. "We were blindsided and what if we're in real trouble now?"

"How so?" Clarke asked and Anya huffed.

"Well we did speak badly of the new owner in front of the new owner." Octavia pointed out.

"She didn't think it was badmouthing, rather honesty." Anya explained.

"Oh my god… the whole New York hotel thing?" Raven blanched. "Did she do that because I complained so much?"

Clarke smiled when she remembered having asked Lexa exactly the same question. "I'm sure she was ok with offering it." She said quietly, trying to remember the exact words. "She said she didn't mind."

"Listen guys." Anya interrupted, seeing the distress on Raven's face. "It's needless worrying about anything. Lexa has gone in undercover to get the real deal. She was prepared for some backlash and uncomfortable revelations." She took her girlfriend in her arms and kissed her cheek. "I know she wouldn't want you tiptoeing around her, just because she's paying your salary."

"If I still have a salary?" Raven mumbled, but relaxed into the embrace.

"Of course you do." Anya assured.

"Clarke?"

The blonde turned to her colleague with questioning eyes. When no further explanation was offered she asked. "Yes Monty?"

"I'm sorry for pushing you to kiss her. That must have been really awkward." He finally blurted out.

"Um…" Clarke blushed deeply. Awkward was not the word she would've choosen to describe it. "It's ok." She stammered.

"Nothing to worry about Monty. No one will hold that against you." Octavia joked and pushed the man towards the buffet, when she sensed Clarke's discomfort. It was a whole different situation now. Clarke wasn't falling for a colleague, but the CEO. Some people might mind. "Now, let's get something to eat. It's a waste to not indulge."

Raven kept looking between Clarke and Anya, unsure of what to do.

"It's ok babe." Anya finally cooed. "I know for sure Lexa has nothing against you. She likes you. You're Clarke's friends."

"Clarke, I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I'm not the one you should apologise to." She half mumbled checking her phone once more.

Her message sat still unanswered in their conversation threat.

**Clarke (21:10): Lexa, we need to talk.**

Maybe the brunette thought Clarke was angry at her and that's why she didn't react.

**Clarke (21:32): I'm not mad. I just want to talk to you.**

The blonde joined her friends and colleagues at the buffet, but couldn't eat. Her stomach was in knots and she felt slightly ill at the possibility of not being able to talk to Lexa. From all the scenarios that could have happened, this hadn't been on her list. She had never been interested in any of her superiors before. She wasn't even sure if this was at all appropriate. She shook her head to get rid of the disturbing thought. She didn't want to be with Lexa the CEO she wanted Lexa the pilot. She tried to calm her nerves.

**Clarke (21:40): Please Lexa. I need to talk to you.**

She waited another ten minutes without a reply, before she turned to Anya.

"Where does Lexa live?"

"Um, she stays in a hotel. She hasn't decided yet whether she wants to be in Boston or LA."

Clarke swallowed hard at the information. 'What if Lexa decided to stay in Boston?' "Which hotel?" She managed despite the lump in her throat.

Anya gave her the address and nodded once when Clarke gestured she would leave.

"Tell her to stop sulking." She smiled; hopeful the two could finally start over now that the cat was out of the bag.

"I will do if she lets me."

"Clarke?" Octavia called after the blonde who quickly walked to the exit.

"Where is she going?" Raven asked her girlfriend when she was in earshot.

"I'll give you three guesses." Anya shrugged and started to steal bites off of the plate in Raven's hand.

"Should we go with her?"

"No. Leave it to the two idiots to sort it out."

Clarke picked up her coat and dashed out onto the road to hail a cab.

**Clarke (21:55): Whether you like to or not, but I'm coming over now.**

* * *

Costia had ordered two drinks and they sat together at the bar not looking at each other.

"So? How are you these days?" She tried.

"I told you not to talk to me." Lexa growled lowly.

"I know, but this is a little weird, don't you think?"

"No one asked you to sit next to me." Lexa was tired of this, but she really needed that drink. She hadn't been able to see Clarke since Christmas and now that the blonde knew for sure who Lexa was, she had been dragged off and driven away. Titus had decided she needed to leave.

" _Ms… Lexa. Please come with me."_

" _Titus, no. I need to talk to the people. They seem upset."_

" _You can address this later. Let the anger simmer down. We need to get you out of here."_

" _Titus you're being overdramatic. This isn't needed."_

" _Well chastise me later for it, but I do think it's not safe right now."_

_Lexa had stared at him for a heartbeat, before she had slowly nodded and allowed herself to be pushed from the room._

Lexa hadn't seen the danger, her eyes had been scanning the room, but she couldn't see anything beyond the first rows. She had no idea how Clarke had received the news. In her hasty departure she hadn't been able to collect her belongings. Her purse was still at the venue.

"That's true, but there's not much space anyway." Costia replied.

Lexa quickly looked up from her glass and scanned the area. The few tables were indeed occupied by men in suits. "Whatever." She mumbled and turned back to sip her drink.

"So?" Costia leaned closer. "What's the deal with you and the blonde? Hook-up in New York?"

"What?" Lexa glared at her. "How dare you?"

"Oh easy. I didn't mean to offend you or her." She grinned hauntingly. "So, it's serious then?"

"I'm not talking to you about this." Lexa answered in a clipped tone.

"Ah, Lex relax. I'm happy for you. It's about time you get over me."

"I am…" Lexa pinched her nose in frustration. "Don't give yourself too much credit in ruining my life."

"Ah. Now we get to the part where you blow up and accuse me of destroying your faith in women?"

"Costia." It was low growl with a clear warning.

"Fine. I'll back off this topic." She nursed her drink for a moment. "How's the business? I haven't seen you making a statement in any big newspaper."

Lexa ignored her. She had no intention of further indulging the woman in conversation.

"Is it true, that people still don't know your true identity?"

Lexa clenched her jaw, but remained silent.

"Does blondie know about you?"

"I said keep her out of this." Lexa finally reacted and hissed at her.

"Mm." Costia grinned again. "Maybe I should find her and warn her. She should know what she's getting herself into."

"And what is that?" Lexa looked at her with a fake grin. "A life you clearly dug for four years. A life you clearly miss considering your lame attempts to get back into my circle."

"A life of being alone for the most part and having to attend a lot of dinner parties…" Costia summed up with a bored voice.

"Which I recall you loved…" Lexa drawled, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I played the expected role."

"Don't pretend. I know you stayed with me for the prestige, the money and the influence." Lexa huffed, glaring at her.

"I agree there was that, but…" She shifted closer. "I also loved you."

Lexa laughed out angrily. "Funny way to show me your love by blackmailing me for a million dollars…"

"I know that was not a nice thing -"

"Not a nice thing?" Lexa repeated completely shocked. "Do you actually hear yourself talking? Do you hear me talking? Are you aware that you've stolen a significant amount of money from me?"

"I'm sure you didn't even miss it. Your parents had plenty." Costia defended herself.

Lexa ignored her and went on. "I should sue you. You've got nothing you could use against me anymore."

Costia looked at her in surprise. She did not come here to end up in prison anyway. "No really. It's been too long. Why hold a grudge?" She stammered.

"I'm done with you." Lexa got up from her stool and finished her drink. "The only reason why I haven't involved the authorities yet, is I didn't want the negative publicity. Not now or ever, but if I ever see you again, I will report you." She leaned closer to her; fiery eyes trained at her ex. "Understand?"

Costia nodded. "Perfectly."

They shared one last look; hate collided with fear, before Lexa turned around and walked to the elevators. The doors opened and a man left when she entered. He nodded at her politely and walked past the bar. When the lift doors closed Costia turned back to her drink and finished it in one big gulp.

"You did well. Thank you." A voice murmured nearby. She turned around quickly, but she only saw the retreating form of a woman steering towards the same direction the man had a minute ago. She paid up and left the hotel hastily, not doubting Lexa's threat one bit.

* * *

Clarke was nervously biting her nails and silently cursing her impulsiveness. She should have given Lexa time to process the night's events, instead of running after her like hormonal teenager. She looked at her phone once more, and the eerie silence from the brunette had her worried. She rationalized, she would only check in on her, make sure she was ok and leave; giving them both time to process what had happened.

When she reached the hotel, she told the driver to wait and swiftly climbed out of the car. She walked into the lobby, and headed towards the reception, when she saw Lexa sitting with another woman at the hotel bar. She looked tired, but her body language told Clarke she knew the woman.

'That's why she didn't answer me.'

Clarke subconsciously hid behind a giant plant and observed them for a minute. They were definitely not strangers and something was weirdly familiar about the other woman. "No." Clarke whispered, when she realised who Lexa was talking to. 'What was her ex doing here? Are they back together? Has that been the reason why Lexa had been so hesitant?' Clarke ducked out behind the plant and slowly made her way back to the taxi, head full of questions. She managed to press her address through her clenched jaw and slumped back into the seat.

* * *

Lexa woke up with banging headache. She groaned loudly and winced at the bright light penetrating her aching brain through her eyelids.

She searched for her mobile on the nightstand, but came up empty handed. "Fuck." She whimpered when she remembered last night's events. She slowly opened one eye and tried to read the time off the alarm clock and nearly jumped out of bed when she realised how late it was. "Fuck." She yelled out and dashed into the bathroom. She didn't need to be late the day after she'd revealed her identity as the CEO of her company. Everyone would be looking for her as the rumour mill had been working overtime lately. Now that the economic world had a face and a name, she would be asked for lots of statements. Lexa requested a car the minute she was out of the bathroom and was only an hour late by her personal standard. She strolled into headquarters with a smile and greeted people on her way to her office. She closed the door and proceeded to her coffee maker, when her chair turned around.

"Finally."

"Indra?" Lexa smiled and walked over to greet her godmother. "When did you arrive? I'm sorry I haven't been able to mingle yesterday night."

"Lexa? Where were you last night?" Indra asked without greeting.

"Um, at my hotel?" Lexa answered, hands on her hips.

Indra nodded gravely and pointed to the coffee. "Make it two, I need one as well."

"What's wrong?"

A knock on the door interrupted Lexa's interrogation.

"Ms Woods? The meeting will start in 5 minutes."

"What meeting?" Lexa looked confused from the woman to Indra and back. "What the hell is going on this morning? I have no meeting scheduled."

"Have you not received the notification?"

"I've lost my phone at the venue."

"Oh!" The young woman said, shuffling out of sight and returning a moment later with Lexa's purse. "Someone dropped this off for you."

Lexa took the handbag and quickly checked the contents in search of her phone. She saw numerous missed calls and Indra, one from Titus, and a few text messages from Anya. Lexa's worry spiked on seeing that Clarke had tried to reach out to her. 'Oh my god, is she angry with me?' Lexa thought and dropped her bag on her visitor chair to read the texts, but was stopped before she could open the app.

"The meeting is in room one."

"What meeting?" Lexa asked once more, lowering her arm holding her phone and glaring at everyone. The anxiety of what Clarke might have messaged had erased her short term memory.

"They called a board meeting. Some unexpected problems have emerged overnight." Indra answered and gently pushed Lexa out of her office towards the meeting room.

"What problems?"

Indra just shook her head. They had run out of time as they were stood in the room now, which was already occupied by the few board members who had attended last night's annual meeting and the rest from Boston via Internet. The meeting would have happened with or without Lexa present.

"Lexa." Titus greeted her politely. "Please." He gestured to the chair at the head of the table and Lexa slowly sat down, eyeing everyone with a frown.

"Would anyone care to tell me what this meeting is about?" She requested once everyone had been seated.

"Very well." A voice boomed out from one of the speakers connected to the monitors. "I received an interesting email last night."

Lexa scrunched up her nose thinking hard what he could mean, when another member raised her voice.

"So did I and the rest of the board."

"Ok." Lexa breathed out in puzzlement, her intestines coiling painfully in her belly.

"How on earth did you think that was suitable content to be sent from your private email account?" The man on the screen asked.

Lexa opened her mouth but was interrupted.

"Can you imagine the damage this information could have done if it had ended up in the wrong hands?"

"What?" She finally managed.

"We established the encrypted electronic mail for a reason. Sending those files from your private address has been the greatest risk in the history of the company."

"What are you talking about?" Lexa finally got up, angry at the unclear accusations towards her. "What are you supposedly saying I've done?"

"Lexa…" Indra turned to her. "Yesterday evening an email was sent to the board containing all the financial records from the previous year."

"I didn't send it. I know how to securely send such data." Lexa defended herself.

"It was sent from your private email address."

"I didn't send it." Lexa repeated.

"What kind of electronic devices do you own?" Indra asked calmly.

"A laptop and my mobile." Lexa huffed out.

"Where were they yesterday evening?"

"The laptop in my hotel room and the phone in my purse, somewhere I don't know. It was given back to me this morning. Indra you witnessed that."

"I did."

"The phone is irrelevant. The information concerned could not have been on your phone." Titus spoke up for the first time.

"I haven't sent any email. Check my laptop; it's in my bag in the office."

Someone was sent to retrieve Lexa's computer and after another moment the brunette was presented with it.

Lexa blanched and shook her head. "I didn't do it." She repeated over and over whilst the voices in the room got louder.

"This is clearly a breach of security."

"Outrageous."

"We can't afford such a risk."

The man on the screen asked for silence before he addressed Lexa. "Your parents demanded our unwavering support in case you had to take over, but this is a serious problem. If this had gotten out, no one would trust Grounder Airline with their personal information ever again. If we can leak our own financial information what would stop us misplacing or even selling passenger data?"

Lexa nodded. She understood the seriousness of the problem, but she kept repeating. "I didn't do it."

"Who else had access to your room, your laptop and your private email account?" Titus turned back to Lexa who stared at him with wide eyes.

"I… I don't know." She stammered anxiously, unable to maintain a clear mind. 'Had she endangered her parents' company?'

"No you don't understand." Nia spoke up for the first time. "Ever since Lexa Woods has taken over, the company has been unhinged. The staff have been unsatisfied and guests have started to complain. This is just the cherry on top."

"That's not true." Lexa stated, angered.

"Well, take last night as an example." Nia proceeded, turning to the board members who had been absent the previous night. "She came in unprepared, her presentation was nowhere to be found, she talked over the heads of people and at the end we had to make her leave the room to avoid any more upset."

"That's not how it happened! I had been prepared." Lexa growled louder.

"Are you even emotionally capable of leading this company?" Nia sneered.

"Enough!" Lexa yelled and everyone stopped talking. "What exactly is it that you're trying to achieve here?"

"Lexa, you're not fit to lead." Nia said calmly.

"This is my company." She said in a gravelly voice.

"We are stakeholders. We have the best of the company at heart and right now you're not the best." One of the men online explained, his voice raspy through the speakers.

"Are you voting me out?" Lexa looked incredulously at the circle of people.

"We advise you to step down from your executive role and remain the silent owner." The same voice stated coldly. Lexa let herself fall back in her chair, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Let's not jump to conclusions here." Indra tried to calm the atmosphere. "It's not been proven she sent the email. She says she hasn't done it. Anyone with a key card had access to her room and a decent hacker could get into her laptop and email account. We have to be sure, because otherwise the decision is void." She pointed out.

Lexa looked down at her hands and the world around her started to swim as tears pooled in her eyes. "I can't believe this."

"Indra is right." Titus spoke up again. "Legally speaking, you have to give Lexa 48 hours to prepare a defence."

"We have enough information to prove her unfit state now." Nia replied.

"You've got nothing. This doesn't hold up in court if Lexa chooses to sue you." Indra snarled icily at the other woman. Nia held her gaze for a moment, before she huffed and threw up her hands in defeat.

"You're right." The man on one of the screens agreed. "Find out what's going on, come back and inform us and we will vote then."

Everyone mumbled their acknowledgement and after another moment the calls were cut and people left the room. Lexa remained seated, still shaking her head.

"Lexa?" Indra kneeled in front of the lost woman. "I believe you."

"Me too." Titus stepped closer.

"I didn't do it. They can't take my parents' company away from me."

Titus and Indra shared a look of determination with each other. "We won't let them."

"Anya. This is Indra."

"Indra? Oh um… one minute." Anya stumbled out of the bedroom, leaving a sleeping Raven behind and walked over to the kitchen. "Good morning." She finally said.

"It's eleven in the morning. Don't tell me you were still sleeping?"

"It's my day off. Of course I was."

Anya could hear a chuckle at the other end and smiled. Her interactions with Lexa's godmother had been sparse. A few birthdays and a couple of dinners, but they had liked each other.

"Listen, Lexa needs your help."

Anya plopped down on her bar stool and giggled. "I hope it has nothing to do with Clarke."

"Who's Clarke?"

"Um, a colleague… She went over to speak to Lexa yesterday night. Haven't heard from either of them."

"Unfortunately it's more serious and I may need the number of this Clarke."

"Indra?" Anya had a sinking feeling in her stomach. "What happened?"

* * *

"What?"

Octavia, Raven, and Clarke stared at Anya after she had finished telling them what had happened. She turned to the other blonde. "Where were you and Lexa yesterday?"

Clarke looked at her angrily. "I haven't been with Lexa."

"Didn't you leave saying you wanted to go to the hotel, to talk to her?" She asked puzzled at the obvious display of irritation.

"I…" She trailed off; trying to contain the hurt she still felt thinking of Lexa with her ex-girlfriend.

"Clarke this isn't the time to be secretive. She needs us. She's about to lose everything."

"How can she lose the company? It's hers." Clarke huffed annoyed.

"Lose might be the wrong term, but she's about to have any say in her own business revoked. Someone has played her." Anya stared at Clarke. "So if you weren't with her, where were you last night?"

"Home." She shrugged.

"Clarke?" Octavia slid over to the blonde. "Has something happened?"

She inhaled and exhaled deeply, before letting her head fall back focusing at something on the ceiling. Anya looked confusedly from Raven to Octavia to Clarke and back, before shrugging her shoulders and pointing to Octavia to continue with the interrogation.

"Hey." She tried once more, caressing Clarke's arm. "Did you see Lexa last night?"

Clarke closed her eyes, and nodded. "I did." She whispered in a rough voice. "She was at her hotel." Although it had hurt, she didn't know the deal between Lexa and the other woman. Right now, the brunette needed help so Clarke would give her that.

"When was that?"

"Around ten o'clock."

"Ok. What did you see?"

It was clear to all three of them that the blonde had witnessed something, which had thrown her completely, off-centre.

"I saw her with another woman at the bar." Clarke finally divulged.

"A woman?" Anya whispered.

"Not any woman." Clarke pushed on and opened her eyes. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Who the hell did you see her with yesterday?"

"You told me they were history. Didn't look like that to me." Clarke spat sarcastically.

"Costia?" Anya's mouth fell open.

"The ex?" Raven asked confused.

"The one and only…" Clarke pressed out and wiped at the few tears. "What's the deal Anya?" She asked wanting to hear there was nothing going on, but preparing herself for the complete opposite.

Anya raked a hand through her hair and sighed. "OK, I'm telling you something you have to promise to never tell anyone." She looked around the small group. Upon her seriousness all three nodded. "Costia had blackmailed Lexa into paying her one million dollars or she would tell the world who Lexa really was."

"Recently?" Octavia asked.

Anya shook her head. "That was the reason they split." She explained.

"Wow, what a bitch." Raven shook her head.

"Yeah, after four years of being together, happily so, at least on Lexa's part, she'd turned around and requested the money to keep her mouth shut."

"Why didn't Lexa sue her?" Raven asked confused.

"She grew up in a world where people only wanted to be acquainted with her cos of her parents' money. She learnt early on that people were more likely to use her for her wealth than being genuinely interested in her. The idea of the world knowing who she was terrified her, as she had convinced herself she'd end up alone with no friends or people who wanted to be around her for her sake, for her personality." Anya paused to sip on her tea. "She couldn't let Costia steal her privacy." She finished and looked at Clarke who was still crying silently, but for a whole different reason.

"How did you find out?" She asked quietly.

"We spent a lot of time just the two of us flying in simulators and then planes. She opened up eventually, after I had made it clear that I was her friend. I promised I wasn't interested in her money or family. She trusted me. Still trusts me."

"So, Costia?" Raven raised an eyebrow.

"There's no chance in hell Lexa would do anything with that woman ever again. She hates her guts and I truly believe, now that Lexa is out of her shadow, she'd actually bring her to justice."

"Didn't look like that though." Clarke mumbled, more composed and calm.

"What exactly did you see?" Anya asked her curiously.

Clarke tried to remember as much detail as possible and Anya jotted down all the information.

"So, when do you think you left?"

"I wasn't there longer than five minutes."

"So, we're talking between ten and quarter past?" Anya clarified.

"Yeah possibly..." Clarke nodded and got up with a new fierceness in her movements. "We need to find Costia. I want to hear this from her." If there was the possibility that she had not misread Lexa and still had a chance with the brunette, Clarke was willing to skin Costia alive to get the information.

"Where should we look for her?" Octavia scratched the side of her head.

"Let's check the big hotels. Bitch like her rests her head on satin rather than cotton." Raven suggested and opened the browser on her phone.

* * *

"Good evening. How can I help you?"

"Good Evening. My name's Raven and I'd like to inquire the whereabouts of one of our passengers from Grounder Airline. We have her luggage."

"Who are you looking for?"

"Ms Costia Greene."

"One moment please."

Raven covered the mobile and turned to her friends. "They're checking for her."

"No, I'm sorry. There is no such guest in our hotel."

"Ok..." Raven eyed Clarke and shook her head pressing her mouth into a thin line. The blonde nodded and crossed out the name of the hotel from their list. "We'll check our data again. Thank you for your help Sir." Raven finished and sighed once she had ended the call. "This is like searching for a needle in a haystack."

"We'll find her. We need to." Anya grumbled.

"I know." Raven mumbled whilst Clarke threw the list of hotels against the wall in frustration.

* * *

"I can't believe this is happening." Lexa had been pacing her office ever since the meeting had ended. Titus had left to talk to the hotel to see if they had a security camera.

"I'm not surprised." Indra answered calmly. "It's hard to believe someone who worked for your parents would do that to their child."

"Yeah 'cos they have been such great employers and everyone had felt loved by them." Lexa answered sullenly.

Indra stood up and went over to Lexa, taking her into her arms once she had reached her. "Your parents loved you very much and they were immensely proud of you."

"Why didn't they tell me?" Lexa asked with tears in her eyes. The morning had chipped away at her professional mask and left her vulnerable and small.

"I think you didn't speak the same language. They told you in the form of gifts and experiences."

"Did they ever tell you?"

"Yes, and I believed them."

"Why did they always choose the company over me?"

"Because you made it quite clear that you didn't want to be with them."

Lexa opened her mouth, stunned at the words. "It was my fault?"

"No, it was as much them as it was you. Unknowingly you have pushed them away by wanting to remain unknown and they didn't fight for their child. I know you never meant to distance yourself from your family, but it happened nevertheless."

"If you saw all that, why didn't you stop us drifting apart?"

"I tried, but it was too late. The connection had been severed. You were stubbornly fixated on your opinion and they were immovable on their stance towards you."

"I don't know why you're telling me all this. Why now?"

"Because you have finally stepped up and owned your name and I don't want you to give up without a fight. You're out now Lexa. People know who you are and your parents wanted you to have their business. They trusted in you and your abilities."

"I wish they were still here." Lexa admitted quietly.

"I know, but you would not have become the strong and fierce woman you are now, if you had kept hiding behind your real identity. You are a Woods, and you have the power and the ability to change things. The last year has given you a lot to handle, but you came out on the other side stronger and more level-headed than before. You know what you want."

Lexa huffed and stared at her phone for the millionth time. She had read all the messages and had replied to Anya and Clarke, explaining the situation of her missing phone. She had not heard back from either. If Clarke had been to the hotel yesterday, she might have seen her with Costia and the assumption the blonde might have drawn from what she had seen scared and worried Lexa beyond words.

"I would have been alright being a pilot. I just want to be happy again." Lexa said after a while, glaring at her phone for not announcing a reassuring message from Clarke.

"You will be." Indra answered and sat back down, watching her carefully. "Can I ask you something else?"

Lexa only nodded, her mind still hung up on Clarke. "What were you doing with that woman at the bar yesterday? I thought you'd parted ways a long time ago?" Lexa had told no one besides Anya about the blackmailing, but everyone close to Lexa had been witness to the breakup.

"I told you already. She waited for me and convinced me to have a drink. I didn't want to spend time with her, but I really wanted a drink."

"Could have had one in your room?"

"Yes, Indra, I am aware of my mistake which will most likely cost me my business and relationship." Lexa hissed more forcefully than needed. Her mind went immediately back to the blonde. Her thoughts went in circles. She was unable to stop them; too worried what Clarke thought of her now.

Indra pointedly remained quiet, only raising one eyebrow conveying the unspoken question. She had not been aware of any new relationships.

"What?" Lexa huffed annoyed.

"Is this about someone named Clarke?"

"How…?" Lexa stopped abruptly in her pacing and stared at her.

"Anya might have mentioned it."

"When?"

"Doesn't matter. Tell me about her." Indra looked at her with a soft smile.

"She's a senior flight attendant."

"And?"

"She's based here in LA and we met on the job." Lexa smiled weakly at the memory.

"Go on."

"There's not much to go on with. We spent Christmas working together." Lexa blushed at her own admission.

Indra grinned at the flushed woman. "Ok, how does she make you feel?"

Lexa eyed her warily, but realised she had already revealed too much to get out of the conversation. "Alive… On fire… Capable of facing anything..." She smiled wider.

"Wow. Have you ever felt like that?"

"No." Lexa was certain this had never happened to her before.

"Why isn't there more to tell? Why isn't she with you?"

"We obviously met when I was undercover and although I kind of told her who I am, I also didn't."

Indra shook her head. "Why do you always make it so hard for yourself?"

Lexa sighed. "I didn't know if I could trust her to not break my heart. I couldn't go through that again." She remained silent about the deep-rooted trust issues she had when it came to her name and wealth.

"She doesn't sound like a Costia." Indra answered softly. "You have to let people in. Your parents always wanted you to experience love and friendship."

"My parents never taught me either."

"Your parents learned the hard way who to trust with which level of privacy and intimacy. I believe it had been difficult for them to make you understand."

"I guess." Lexa nodded. "It's really nerve-racking to establish trust. I find it one of the most difficult things to do."

"Do you trust me?"

Lexa looked up and into Indra's soulful eyes. This woman had been there for her and Lexa had no doubt she would walk through fire to save her. "Of course I do." She answered without a shadow of a doubt.

"Then trust me that I'm telling you the truth about your parents. They wanted you and they did everything to keep you safe. They respected your wish to be kept out of the limelight. It hurt them to not be able to show you off, but they did what they thought you needed from them. Stop being angry with them. They tried their best and failed you, but never think they didn't love you." She stopped and watched her goddaughter for a moment. Silence stretched through the space as Lexa kept staring at the ceiling.

"Don't think love is only a notion..." Indra picked up her pep talk once more. "…a creation for stupid people to be fooled and hurt. Love comes in all shapes and forms, but what you feel for this woman is pretty rare. I wish your parents had been around more so you could have seen them in love." Indra smiled sadly. "Cos they were and you're their perfectly summed up product."

Lexa smiled. "I get it. Thank you."

"If you feel alive with someone you need to hold on. Don't let go like your parents let you go. Fight for what you want."

"Well I first have to fight for this." She gestured to the logo of Grounder Airline.

* * *

They had to call ten more hotels before they found her. Half an hour later Clarke and Anya strolled into the hotel and requested the room number with the same lie they had used to find her.

They knocked at the door and waited and hoped for Costia to be there.

"Yeah?" She cracked the door open. When she recognised them she tried to close it but Anya pushed her weight against the door and after some struggling Costia gave up and let go off the door making Anya fall into the room. "We're here to talk." Anya growled and got up.

"What do you want?" Costia put her hands on her hips.

"What did you do to Lexa?" Anya stepped closer to her.

"I haven't done anything to her." She grinned evilly at Clarke, who looked frustratingly calm, arms crossed in front of her chest, eyes boring into the other woman.

Anya pinched the bridge of her nose. "Ok. Let me rephrase. Why were you at her hotel last night?"

"Yeah… I've no idea what you're talking about." Costia deflected.

"Were you spying on her?" Anya tried.

Costia remained silent with a glint in her eye, showing she was enjoying herself immensely.

"Where you trying to get her to tell you shit? And when it didn't work did you get someone else to do the dirty work for you?" The taller blonde was angrily yelling at her.

When Costia just shrugged and grinned, Clarke finally reacted, lowered her arms and stepped into the woman's personal space. "Lexa never talked about you, you can't be that important to her."

"Lexa never talked to anyone about anything." She snorted.

"You're a mediocrity. A nothing. Your world was grey and tasteless until you found her." Clarke ignored the flaring of nostrils and clenched jaw and went on. "You've experienced gold and silver served on a platter and you don't know what to do without it."

Costia opened her mouth but Clarke glared at her so fiercely, she closed it and bit down on her lips.

"You dived into the superficial world of glamour and wealth thinking you were one of them, but they only chewed and digested you and crapped you out like the nothing you are. You've got nothing to offer, no personality, no depth and no spirit. Nothing." Clarke spat the last words with pure disgust.

"How dare you. You don't know me." Costia hissed barely containing her anger.

"I know enough about you and I suggest you tell us what we want to know."

"Or what?" Costia stepped closer, head held high. "What can you possibly do?" She sneered.

"Well you see…" Clarke drawled. "I can reason with Lexa to sue you, but I can also ask her not to. You've got the chance right now to walk away or you remain stupid and never walk freely again."

"Sue me for what? Last time I checked inviting a woman for a drink is not illegal." She grinned phonily.

"Don't be dumber than you already are. Do you really think Lexa would keep you and your crime a secret?"

Costia's grin froze. "She was pretty good in keeping her own identity a secret." She pressed through her thin lips, crossing her arms stubbornly.

"Your time is counting… Start talking before I lose interest in listening." Clarke stated and pulled her phone out, navigating to her contact list and pressing on Lexa's name. "One more click and I have her on the phone. I just recently read that sexual abuse is 'part and parcel' of females in prison. You wanna find out yourself?"

"I told you already." Costia uncrossed her arms and held her hands up. "I haven't done anything to her or with her for that matter. She hates me." She added.

Clarke nodded and pursed her lips. "Still not all there is to tell, is it? Maybe this jogs your memory. Someone entered Lexa's room while you distracted her. Who would that be?"

"What?" Costia furrowed her brow. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh my god." Anya turned to Clarke. "Can we please start torturing her?"

"I really don't know." Costia added in confusion.

"Well what do you know then?" Clarke asked and shook the phone in front of Costia's face, one eyebrow raised suggestively.

Costia glared at her, clenching and unclenching her jaw but she remained silent.

Clarke raked one hand through her hair and groaned out in frustration. "What's in it for you? Who are you protecting?" Clarke paused watching Costia carefully. "You do know that whoever has you in their pocket, is trying to demote Lexa. You're the pawn in their game and right now you're of no use to them anymore. If you remain quiet they succeed with their scheme, but whatever they have offered you for your participation, you won't be able to enjoy it, because I will make sure you don't get to. Take that as a threat I intend to keep."

Clarke signalled to Anya to leave, but was stopped by a hand on her arm. "Wait."

* * *

"This is outrageous." Indra exploded. She had left Lexa as soon as she had received the call, only now having learned of the crime and its depth.

"She said she didn't know the bigger picture." Anya explained.

"She's a piece of shit that woman."

Anya looked at the phone in surprise. "Um, yes you could say that." She laughed and said a moment later. "So what are we going to do now?"

"I'm on my way. Where are you?"

* * *

The second meeting of the day was scheduled late in the evening. Any attempt to rearrange for the next morning had been shut down by Indra. She wanted Lexa's name cleared up and the responsible people behind bars.

"What have you found out?" The man on the screen asked to no one particular.

Indra stood up. "You are the oldest board member and you have worked the longest with the Woods. They trusted you and asked you to trust their daughter. I'm appalled by your lack of support for Lexa."

"We did and we wanted her to succeed, however this mistake is unforgivable."

"I agree, unforgivable indeed." Indra said and walked into the centre of the room. "Alright..." She addressed everyone. "I've learned some interesting facts which I'm sure all of you will find highly interesting as well as entertaining."

Lexa was perched on the edge of her seat. She was beyond nervous; no one had told her anything. Indra had received a phone call and had left her alone for two hours. Titus hadn't come back either. She had been pacing up and down her room, had messaged Anya, had attempted to message Clarke, but had deleted every try to contact the blonde, who hadn't replied to her earlier texts. By this point Lexa assumed Clarke had not taken it lightly that she had hidden her true self from her. She was probably angry and hurt and Lexa had no idea how to make up for it, as she had been holed up in her own office, until Indra and Titus had come back. They had entered the room like a hurricane, had called the meeting and now the same people who had been there in the morning were sat once more around the table ten hours later.

"I would like to remind everyone in this room that you're here because of Lexa's parents. They created this company, put in hours and hours of hard work, have missed the majority of their daughter's childhood and have died tragically young. Lexa has shouldered all that responsibility. She has accepted her fate, has sacrificed her own dreams for her families' legacy to live on and flourish and prosper for all you to still have a job." She let her gaze roll over the men and women in the room. Some seemed to protest at the insinuation of their life depending on Lexa. "I see you disagree." Indra smiled. "I'll have you know that Lexa had an offer from American Airlines to sell. Your positions would have been redundant." Big eyes cast over to Lexa who held her head high; her face an illegible mask. "As you can see, she did not accept. Although her own passion lies in flying, she didn't want anyone who had worked alongside her parents for years and years to lose their jobs. She wanted to keep her parents dream healthy and strong and foremost independent." The message sunk in and a low murmuring of appreciation reached Lexa's ears. She didn't react. "However…" Indra went on, walking slowly towards the door. "… Some of you have the feeling they deserved more, should have had more of a say. I tell you what, why don't we let someone else tell the rest of this tale?" She opened the door and all heads turned towards the three people entering. Lexa's eyes went wide when she saw Anya, Costia and Clarke walking towards the middle of the room.

"Ladies and Gentlemen." Indra joined the trio and pushed Costia a step forward. "This is Costia Greene and she wants to tell you something."

"Um… want is not really the driving word…" Costia started, eyeing Lexa who had stood up in confusion at the development. "I was approached by someone to get back in to Lexa's life. We used to date ages ago." She started to explain in a bored voice. "Last night I was told to get her to have a drink with me." She stopped, but Clarke urged her on.

"Who hired you?"

"She said her name was Nia Izard." She finally said and a woman stood up almost immediately after she had spoken.

"This is a lie. I have nothing to do with this."

Lexa opened her mouth but was cut off by Indra. "Ms Izard is it true that you were at the bar as well?"

"No." Nia huffed. "Why would I be in a dingy hotel bar?"

"I never said it was a hotel bar, but let's leave that aside." Indra grinned. "Costia? Do you recognize the voice?"

"Yes. After Lexa went upstairs you said something like 'well done' to me and left."

"These are false accusations. You have no proof." Nia stepped back and crossed her arms.

Titus stepped around Nia and stopped next to her. "You've been identified by a few people as well as CCTV." He said and Nia's eyes went wide. "Now, what were you doing in said bar?" He asked again.

Nia swallowed and clenched her jaw.

"I'll help you." Indra stepped closer to her. "You have been manipulating Lexa from the beginning. You have made sure she wouldn't know anything about the style of leadership her parents had established. You held back information about little things like Christmas cards or bigger things like the fact that Grounder Airline did not conduct business over Christmas day. However, your attempts to make her look unfit for the position failed as she had found out and had corrected these mistakes generously." Indra was almost up her nose at that point. "You had someone send the email from Lexa's private laptop last night."

Nia stepped back. "Nothing you've just said is true."

"Ms Greene? Did you see her following a man out of the hotel?" Titus looked at the woman still in the centre of the room.

"Yeah." Costia nodded.

"That one?" Indra walked back to the door and opened it to a man who slowly walked in.

"Yes."

"I know you." Lexa proclaimed indignantly pointing to him. "You left the lift."

"Ms Woods I assume?" He stumbled forward. "I'm sorry."

"For what exactly? Breaking into my hotel room? Hacking my laptop? Or sending that information?"

"For your own concern, I actually did not send the real data. We…" He looked over his shoulder at Nia. "…faked the information to make sure if it leaked due to its unsafe delivery the company wouldn't be harmed."

"Why?"

"She didn't want to destroy the airline, just to get you out of the chair to take over."

All eyes turned to Nia who looked furiously around.

"Why?" Lexa slowly walked over to Nia, eyes as cold as an iceberg. "Why would you do that to me? Do you really hate me that much? You don't even know me."

"I pulled just as many hours as your parents." She yelled angrily at being exposed. "I know everything about their big plans and you don't know shit." She pointed at herself. "I should be CEO, not you."

"Is that the reason for all this?" Lexa looked at her in utter disbelief. "You did it because you wanted to be me?"

"You don't deserve it." Nia hissed.

"No, I don't. You're right. I also didn't want it, but I've learned that with my name comes responsibility for people. You never cared for them, you only cared for yourself. I'm disgusted by you."

Indra opened the door once more and two police officers walked in and were directed to Nia. "Take her out of my sight." Lexa spat. "My parents would be so disappointed and disheartened by you. I'm glad they didn't have to see this."

"It should have been me. I invested my whole career into this business. Your parents owed me." Nia yelled and fought against the tight hold of the officer, who led her quickly out of the building to their car. "Mine." She yelled one last time before the walls swallowed her voice.

It was calm for a moment in the room and Lexa finally dared to look at Clarke, who had been standing completely still watching the scene unfold in front of her. She wore a small smile and nodded to Lexa and the brunette felt a stone of her bodyweight falling off her heart.

Indra walked over to the man standing awkwardly in the corner of the room. "Before you say anything…" He lifted his hands to stop her. "I accept every consequence."

"How generous and yes you will." Anya spat out and turned to Costia. "So will you."

"But, I have held up my end of the deal… I have helped you." She complained.

"This is my battle." Lexa said to Anya whilst walking over to the group, before addressing her ex-girlfriend. "What the hell Costia?"

"She offered me money." She said as an explanation.

Lexa shook her head, unsurprised by the bribery used on her ex to play her again. "The conditions stand. If I ever see or hear from you again, I'll bring you to justice."

"What the hell are you doing Lexa?" Anya finally spoke up. "Clarke and I walked through shit to get her to talk and help and you're just let her off like that?"

Lexa looked up at Clarke with surprise in her eyes, but schooled her features quickly and addressed the whole room. "She didn't mastermind this."

"No I didn't." Costia said, interrupting her.

Lexa glared at her dangerously before continuing. "I don't want to hold grudges. I want to move on. Grudges are the real weakness. They blind your eyes with hate. I was angry at my parents for a long time. For not being there for me, for not supporting me when I needed them, but this is in the past. This company…" Lexa paused and let her gaze wander. "My company will no longer be affected by the past. You're free to leave if you can't work under my leadership, I won't hold anyone back." She held her head high in true Lexa fashion, regal stance and arms behind her back. She wouldn't let anyone see how insecure the whole scenario had left her. "And for you." She turned once more to Costia. "The negative press this would bring along is not worth it at the moment, but I'll face it and play it if you ever decide to come back. Am I making myself clear?"

Costia nodded in understanding and quickly left before Lexa could change her mind.

"Lexa." The voice from the screen demanded her attention and she slowly turned around. "I can't apologize enough for not trusting in you." He said and lowered his head. "At this point, however, it's not us who need to decide whether they can work for you anymore. It is you who need to think whether you can work with us again."

"I've known some of you for my whole life. None of you have betrayed the company. You have done what you thought needed to be done. You have been played just like I have. This ordeal does not make me question your integrity. I feel personally let down by you, but I'm sure we can work on that."

She finally turned to the computer hacker and glared at him. "What was in this for you?"

"Nothing really. I knew Nia from school. She's always been manipulative. I just wanted her off my back to be honest."

"Considering you haven't damaged the company or stolen anything, I'd like to offer you a job in my IT department. Your task: Make it as hard as possible to hack into our system."

"Um Ms Woods, are you sure? I mean, thank you." He smiled. "I'm really sorry."

"Thank you Mr Jordan. This is more than you deserve." Titus stopped the man from further talking. "Please follow me." He led him out of the room.

It took another half an hour for everyone to personally apologize to Lexa. She felt numb and exhausted, but she kept smiling. It had been a rollercoaster ride of epic proportions, but it was over.

"How did you find out?" She looked quizzically at the three remaining women.

"Well…" Anya started walking closer and sat down in a chair. "Indra called me after the meeting this morning. It didn't take long to find out that Costia had been involved. Clarke went all ballistic on her ass…" Anya stopped and turned to the blonde, before lowering her voice. "You should have seen her… wow."

"I did what I had to do. She was risking your company and I would not accept that." Clarke shrugged it off, but Lexa smiled at her thankfully.

"Bet it took a bit of ammunition for her to break." She said and looked up when Titus entered the room once more. "How did you find the hacker?" Lexa asked him.

"Um, the security camera had captured him."

"Did you know him?"

"No, but I've got friends who did. He's been reckless before and ended up on the police wanted list." He turned to Lexa. "Are you sure you want to hire him? I'll be happy to tell him you've changed your mind."

"No, I think he's a good addition. I was contemplating a higher security for sensitive data. We have so much passenger information, we can't risk losing them."

"He's a risk in itself."

"Titus, I know you're protective and you've proven your loyalty and I'm grateful, but this is my business and I'll decide. I'll talk to my lawyer and have them draw up a tight contract and he won't have access to the files. I only want him to secure the system."

"Very well. I'll leave you to it." He nodded at Lexa who smiled appreciatively back before closing the door behind him.

Indra took her in her arms and led her away from Anya and Clarke, who were currently talking on the phone. 'Probably to Raven…' Lexa mused.

"I'm proud of you. You managed well." Indra said, forcing Lexa's focus back on her.

"I don't know." She sighed exhaustedly.

"I do." Indra smiled. "And wherever you decide to manage from…" She looked over at Clarke. "I will be there for you."

"How do you like Los Angeles?" Lexa asked, smiling softly, eyes trained on the blonde as well. She was talking in a hushed tone but stopped all of a sudden and looked up to meet Lexa's gaze.

"It's bright and warm and it makes you happy."

Indra hugged her, when Anya strolled over. "So Raven's saying if you need to get rid of anyone, she'll be your woman. Apparently she can make things go boom. No idea what she means. I'm just the messenger." She laughed.

"Thank you for everything." Lexa hugged her gratefully.

"Don't sweat it…" Anya waved the sentiment off. They knew they had each other's backs. Lexa grinned at that and gestured for the two to leave, who picked up the hint and exited quietly.

Lexa walked slowly over to the blonde. "Hi." She waved awkwardly.

"Hi." Clarke looked at her quizzically.

"Listen…" Lexa stopped in front of her, eyes lowered to the floor. "I know you're probably angry with me and I can't really say anything to make up for lying to you, but I hope -"

"Lexa?" Clarke interrupted her monologue with a smile. When the brunette looked up she continued. "Firstly, I'm not angry."

"You're not?" Lexa asked surprised. "I thought your radio silence was a tell-tale."

"Well I've been a little busy with your monster of an ex." Clarke shrugged sheepishly.

"I'm really sorry I dragged you into this mess." Lexa gestured to the door and led them to her empty office. "Coffee?" She offered, but Clarke shook her head and proceeded with their conversation.

"You actually told me, but I didn't realise what you were saying. I'm not angry." She repeated and held up her hand when Lexa opened her mouth. "No, please. Let me get this out." When Lexa nodded, Clarke licked her lips nervously. "You have every right to inspect, explore and interrogate your company and employees, that's why I'm not mad. It's your business; you need to know what's going on." Clarke raked one hand through her hair and smiled shyly. "I now realise why you were so hesitant. With someone abusing your trust and hurting your feelings you're bound to be wary. I get it. Costia probably destroyed your faith in everyone…" Clarke trailed off.

"She had me pretty depressed and anxious, I agree, but it's also a long time ago."

Clarke nodded. Lexa walked closer to her with a curious expression on her face. "What did you tell her to convince her to help me? I'm surprised she was willing to come here."

"She wasn't. I appealed to her survival instinct." Clarke laughed and Lexa grinned.

They looked at each other for a moment. Soft blue eyes flickered over the tired face whilst green orbs tried to find out how Clarke felt. She disguised her feelings well and Lexa sighed before speaking up again. "I don't know how to ever thank you for what you've done for me today."

"Really." Clarke stepped closer to her, cocking her head to one side. "You really don't know?"

Lexa blinked a few times. "You still want this?" She whispered, not trusting her voice in this moment.

"I still want you…" Clarke answered quietly. "Question is if you want me too."

The next seconds were completely silent accept for the antique clock on the desk ticking away the time. Lexa looked as if she couldn't believe Clarke's words, but as quickly as the emotion had taken over her features it was replaced by a soft smile and a small blush. She watched the blonde, who moved nervously from one foot to the other, biting her lip in anticipation and in that moment Lexa knew she had found the one person, her person, who would fight for her without batting an eyelid, because it was the right thing to do; who would rather die than see her in pain and who would go to the end of the world to make her happy. She also realised she was willing to do the same for the blonde and that's when Lexa closed the distance and pressed her mouth softly against Clarke's, who sighed in contentment. Their lips danced to the beat of their hearts and what started out soft quickly turned into a heated kiss. Clarke ran her tongue over plump lips, tasting and revelling in the small sounds Lexa made, when their tongues met.

"I want you too." Lexa breathed against now kiss swollen lips when the need for air became too strong. "So much." She whispered into Clarke's mouth, but her words were swallowed by a moan.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo... 10,500 words later... Happy? Sad? Confused? Angry? Let me know...
> 
> I haven't actually started on the final chapter, but I promise an orgasmic ending absolutely latest by the end of this hell of a year. Let's get it over with.
> 
> On another note: Tomorrow or for some today is the first Advent. Yay... Christmas is coming... I have decided this year to create an Advent story. I'll post a chapter each day, they'll be significantly shorter than my usual length and by the 24th of December you'll have fluffy Christmas. Sounds good? Well then stay tuned for 'Driving Home For Christmas' from the first of December on. See ya. Take care.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised here the final chapter of Love at First Flight.

 

* * *

It took all the strength in Lexa to separate her lips from Clarke's and step back, gazing into dark eyes. She swallowed at the sensation the wide blown pupils stirred in her and pressed her short fingernails into her hand to anchor her to the surroundings. "We should stop." She panted unwillingly, but knew it was for the best. They were still in her office.

Clarke watched her carefully and Lexa saw the flicker of hurt at the rejection dancing over her face. She quickly closed the small distance once more and placed a lingering, gentle kiss on pursed lips.

"I said I want you too." She whispered. "But we can't do this here." She said gesturing to her office desk and it dawned on Clarke what the brunette was referring to.

"Oh." She mumbled sheepishly and nodded with a blush creeping up her neck. "Ok."

They looked at each other, marvelling at the feelings awakening inside. Lexa stepped back slightly and moved her hands down Clarke's arms. "I want to do this the right way." She clasped one hand in hers. "Please go on a date with me? Tomorrow? Dinner?"

"Um…" Clarke hesitated. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sorry if I made you question my intentions. I really like you Clarke." Lexa's eyes jumped indecisively over the blonde's face. "I really, really like you." She repeated with a smile.

"Well I really, really, like you too." The blonde grinned helplessly.

"Good. I'm glad." Lexa laughed softly.

"It should have been obvious don't you think?" The blonde teased. She was convinced she couldn't have been any clearer in her interest.

"I don't trust uncertainties and hints. I'd rather hear it from a person, in words."

"Fair enough…" Clarke smiled. "Also, I didn't question your intentions, I just wasn't sure you wanted to go out and be seen with me in public."

"Why?" Lexa's mouth fell open in surprise. She cleared her throat and tried to reiterate her question. "Why would you think I didn't want to be seen with you?"

"Oh don't get me wrong. I'm not saying this out of self-deprecation or anything." Clarke laughed out loudly. "I just wanted to make sure you're comfortable with me at your side I guess."

"I still don't understand…" She said baffled. "Anyone should be out of their mind to not be utterly proud to take a woman like you out on a date."

"You're my boss." Clarke cringed slightly at her words. She hadn't wanted to have the discussion now, but the earlier they shared their stance on the matter the better she figured.

"Oh." Lexa's eyes widened in understanding. "That."

"Yeah that."

"Listen, Clarke." Lexa took the blonde's hands once more in hers. "I talked about this with Anja already and Indra doesn't seem to be opposed to the idea, so unless you feel weird about it, I'm absolutely ok with this. I don't care. There are, in fact, a lot relationships formed between co/workers and bosses I've been informed."

"You've been informed?" Clarke smirked.

"Well, Anja might have had to work on my perception of such relationships." Lexa admitted her hesitance in the beginning "Don't get me wrong Clarke, this isn't about you. Not at all. This is just about how people observe me, and in extension you and I."

"Are you worried what your employees think about you?"

"I'm not going to lie to you." Lexa sighed. "I was."

"Was?" Clarke asked hopeful.

"Yes past. After what happened today, I'm more concerned whether I can trust the people who work for me than what they think about my private life."

"Ok." She nodded and smiled shyly. "So a date tomorrow then?"

"Yes please. Can I pick you up? At seven?" Clarke swallowed at the intensity of the forest-coloured eyes trained on her.

"Ok." She breathed. She would have agreed to anything if Lexa looked at her like that. "I'll text you my address." She added with a smile.

"Perfect." Lexa kissed her hand chivalrously. "I'll see you tomorrow. Hope you have a good day."

"I'll be flying in the morning, but I guess you know that."

"Actually, no. I'm not doing the detailed planning." Lexa laughed. "I've only been directly involved at Christmas."

Clarke grinned at that. "Very smooth move by the way."

"I did my best." Lexa smiled back and pulled Clarke by her hand towards her. "It seemed to have worked."

"Oh yeah…." She leaned closer, lips ghosting over plump counterparts. "It definitely worked." She winked and stopped herself from closing the gap, eyes trained at Lexa's mouth.

"Ok." It was all Lexa could manage before she needed to taste her again, their last kiss had been too long ago. It was calm and soft, gently probing and utterly rewarding for all the trouble they had been through to reach this stage. "Mmm, I could get addicted to kissing you." She mumbled after a while, breaking the kiss, wiping longingly over red lips. "You're breath-taking, Clarke." She admitted.

"So are you." She kissed her once more, her tongue probing into a welcoming mouth.

"It's late." Lexa panted. "You want me to call you a taxi?" She wanted to keep doing what they were doing, but she felt her resolve crumbling away. She didn't want to rush into anything with Clarke. She wanted them to have a chance at something real and not just a rushed hormonal satisfaction.

"Yes please." Clarke answered breathlessly, understanding the need for Lexa to tone it down. Ultimately they were in her office, which although late, still buzzed with people due to the day's events.

They finally separated their bodies from one another and Lexa opened the door for Clarke and followed her with her mobile in her hand calling for transportation.

"When will you be able to leave?" Clarke asked quietly once the phone was stored away.

"I don't know." Lexa looked around, seeing Indra and Titus talking animatedly with each other. "That looks interesting." She gestured to the two.

"Let me know if you need help smoothing the waters. People listen to me."

"That's a generous offer. Maybe we can talk about that later? Your cab is here."

Clarke looked over her shoulder to confirm. "So…" She drawled, when she turned back to face Lexa. "I don't think you're big on PDA, right?"

"For now." Lexa smiled in relief. She had worried how to approach the topic.

"Alright." Clarke nodded with a smile. She had expected this. At the end of the day, Lexa was the boss, and an overly physical expression of their feelings for each other seemed inappropriate. "Thanks for giving us a try." She grinned cheekily and touched Lexa's shoulder, before running her hand down the length of her arm to shortly squeeze her hand.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me."

"Any time if need be. Bye Lexa."

"Sleep well, Clarke."

* * *

Lexa's gaze followed the car until she couldn't see it anymore and she finally turned back around and walked into her office building. She joined the two still arguing and cleared her throat.

"Mind telling me what this is about?"

"Ms. Woods… I mean Lexa." Titus started and corrected himself immediately at Lexa's glare. "We have received notification that Nia has been released from custody."

"I hadn't thought they were able to hold her much longer than a couple of hours." Lexa answered in surprise at the serious tone of her advisor's voice. "Why is this worrisome?"

"It's not per se, Titus here just thought of assembling a little army to keep you safe."

"That won't be needed. I doubt she'll hurt me."

"You can never be too careful." Titus interrupted.

"I don't want to draw more attention to myself than I already have. Titus, I appreciate your concern, but I'll handle my own security if needed."

"As you wish. Let me know if I can be of help."

"Retire for the night. We'll meet up tomorrow morning and discuss the changes."

"Very well. Good night."

Indra watched him leave with a tight-lipped smile. "I'm not sure his unease is uncalled for. Nia Izard is dangerous."

"She won't hurt me." Lexa repeated and huffed in disbelief.

"Just take no risks." Indra pleaded.

"Have you booked your own hotel or will you stay with me at the penthouse?" She changed the subject unwilling to discuss the matter any longer.

"I don't have a room."

"Ok, well then let's go." Lexa pushed her godmother towards the exit and stopped at the security guard. "Henry, thank you for your work tonight." She said and smiled at him.

"No problem Lexa. Have a good night after everything that's happened today. Please trust me to keep your premises safe."

"Thanks. It's greatly appreciated." Lexa answered thankfully and waved him goodbye.

"I think…" Indra started when they reached Lexa's car and personal chauffeur. "You can start to look for apartments soon." She climbed into the back of the car.

"Um, why do say that?" Lexa looked at her sceptically when she settled next to her.

"Really?" Indra raised an eyebrow in amusement. "I don't think you and Clarke want to start a long-distance relationship if you can easily move to her town."

"No one said anything about moving or a relationship…" Lexa drawled uncomfortably. "To the hotel please."

"Of course not, but I'm sure that's where it's heading. You two look gorgeous together and after today I'm sure you know you can trust her 100 percent to not play with you." She watched her goddaughter for a moment, before adding. "Besides, it's obvious she really likes you. Maybe more than just likes." She winked at her implication.

"I don't think you should assume anything."

"I don't, I just have eyes. So anyway, how are you going to proceed?"

"I'm taking her out on a date tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Wow you're moving quickly."

Lexa blushed. "It's not about that. I just want to see her again. I miss her already." She admitted.

Instead of an answer, Indra shared a touching look, but remained quiet. It wasn't typical for Lexa to share so much emotional stuff.

They changed the topic back to the business and discussed further steps to secure Lexa's position.

* * *

When Clarke woke up the next morning, she was beyond giddy and nervous, but a look at her watch told her she had to survive ten hours before she would see Lexa again. The only reason for her excitement.

She made her way over to the airport and went through the motions hoping for the miracle of Raven and Octavia suffering from spontaneous forgetfulness, but wasn't granted the wish.

"Clarke!" Raven exclaimed when she saw the blonde in the opening of the airplane.

"Raven…" She answered carefully.

"Tell me everything." The brunette quickly ran down the gangway and entered the plane, following her superior to the back of it.

"I'm not telling you anything besides what you need to know." Clarke answered nonchalantly. "We're flying with minimal staff, it's only short distance to San Francisco. Where's Octavia?" She proceeded as if she wasn't expected to talk about something else.

"Yadda, yadda, I don't care. What else happened yesterday with the boss?"

"You should care. It's your job."

"Please don't get all 'boss lady on me'. Tell me about yesterday." Raven protested and was backed up by Octavia who just stumbled onto the airplane.

"Yes, Clarke. What the hell happened?"

"Um, nothing happened."

"No no no. You're not getting away that easily. Start from the beginning after you and Anya left to grab Costia." The shorter brunette demanded.

"Ok." Clarke sighed. "But get your stations ready while I give you the summary."

By the time the passengers started boarding their curiosity had been somewhat stilled. Clarke had not told them anything about her and Lexa, but Raven knew tiny bits from Anya already.

"So, you guys are good now?" She asked for confirmation.

"Ray, I'm sure you know we are."

"Well, Anya wasn't too specific about how good we're talking." She grinned.

"That's because your girlfriend has the decency to respect privacy. You should google the word."

"Haha." Raven pouted.

"Listen, we don't want rumours. If there's something to talk about, I promise you two will know first." Clarke stated.

"I bloody hope so."

The blonde smiled at her friends. They had been through so much together and she really didn't want to keep anything from them, however this particular situation needed to be handled with the utmost delicacy, because she really didn't want to destroy Lexa's trust in her.

They kept teasing her throughout the flight. It didn't help that Anya was the pilot and called Clarke every few minutes under the ruse of needing a drink or an update. She really just wanted to know what was going on with her friend and the blonde.

"Anya, please. If you want to know ask Lexa herself. I won't talk about it."

"You're a spoilsport." She pouted, but smiled a second later. "I'm proud of you. You're good for her."

Clarke looked at her in surprise and Anya went on to explain. "Well you could have bragged about whatever happened and let's be honest, I know what's happened, but you remain quiet. That's awesome."

"Lexa told you?" Clarke was positively excited. If Lexa had talked about them she really was serious.

"Yes I called her earlier today. You left quite an impression."

"So did she.

"Has she told you where she'll take you tonight?" Anya and Clarke were alone in the cockpit as her co-pilot had left for the toilet.

"No, and it makes me nervous. I don't know what to wear." She admitted.

"Don't be. Lexa is just as nervous, and I'm pretty sure if you go for elegant you'll blow her mind."

Clarke nodded thankfully. "Alright, that's my mission."

"You can't do anything wrong, believe me. She's head over heels for you."

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

"To equal the playing field." Anya grinned naughtily. "I might have told her you are crazy about her."

"Anya!" Clarke blushed profusely.

"What? It's true." The taller blonde raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"That's not what I'm saying." Clarke evaded. "I just feel stupid her knowing this."

"But it's mutual. That's what I meant to tell you. Don't hesitate because you don't know how she feels about you. I want you guys to have a fair chance."

"Why?"

"Ever since Costia, Lexa has been a single fighter. She has been alone and lonely. You're the first girl in a long time that has managed to coax her out of her shell; to make her go out of her way and leave her comfort zone." Anya paused, when the other pilot knocked at the door. "I know you Clarke and I know you guys fit well together." She finished quickly and buzzed the cockpit open. "I know you." Anya called out when Clarke stepped past the other woman with a smile and a nod. She turned back to Anya and winked.

"Yeah, I guess you do. Thanks."

"Any time Griffin, just don't blow it."

"I'll do my best." She called through the closing door before it fell in its lock.

* * *

The flight returned to Los Angeles in the early evening and Clarke couldn't leave quickly enough. Raven and Octavia generously offered to finish her work, so the blonde left after the last passenger.

"Have a nice evening and don't do anything I wouldn't do." Raven called after her.

"There's not much you wouldn't do." Anya joined her laughingly.

"True that, but Griff, seriously, have fun tonight. Get the girl." She winked.

"Consider yourself officially gagged Raven. No word of this or I'll know whom to advise to fire." Clarke smiled but her voice was serious. She wouldn't be able to really kick Raven out, but the brunette needed to know when to shut up.

"Hey, trust me. I'd never jeopardize your potential relationship with Hot Boss."

"Raven." Clarke hissed. "These comments are exactly the reason I didn't want you to know. Just keep it to yourself."

"Ok, ok." She lifted her hands in surrender. "I'll be quiet as long as you promise me to be yourself and enjoy the night. Don't question, just go with the flow."

"Right. I'll try."

"Good enough."

Clarke looked once more at Anya who smiled at her and nodded. "She won't bite unless you'd like her to."

"Oh my god." Clarke blushed once more. "You guys are awful. I'm leaving now." She huffed and quickly turned on her heel, stalking off towards the terminal. Laughter accompanied her all the way to the airport building and Clarke smiled. She was happy and she looked forward to the evening. She didn't know what to expect, but she was keen on doing as Raven had suggested.

* * *

Seven o'clock came quicker than Clarke had anticipated and she rushed through her apartment to get herself ready. She was just about to put on her shoes when she heard a knock.

"Hi." She breathed happily, when she opened the door to a stunning Lexa in tailored pants and a loose blouse. She had to stop herself from drooling and instead offered for her to come in.

"Hello Clarke." The brunette greeted her back and stepped over the threshold, offering a bouquet of roses with a shy grin. "For you." She clarified.

"Wow, thanks Lexa." Clarke smiled happily, accepting the flowers and stepping aside to close the door behind her. "I'll quickly go and put them into water. Be right back." She said, but was stopped by a warm, gentle hand at her wrist. She turned back and her eyes fell immediately to Lexa's lips. She craved them like nothing else, but she didn't know if she could just follow her needs. It looked like Lexa had the same desire and before Clarke could overthink the moment, she felt the soft mouth pressing against hers and sighed at the feeling.

"Sorry." Lexa whispered when they separated to inhale desperately needed air. "I couldn't wait any longer." She explained sheepishly.

"Please never apologise for kissing me." Clarke smiled brightly. "I wanted to do the same the moment I saw you."

"Well in that case, please never hesitate to kiss me if you want to."

"Deal." The blonde grinned, before wrapping her lips once more around the other's, teasing her with gentle strokes of her tongue. A moan filled the small apartment and stirred them out of their little bubble.

"Oh, um…" Lexa mumbled. "Maybe we should get going before we're not going at all…"

"Maybe we should." Clarke panted a little.

"You look beautiful." Lexa breathed out and let her gaze wander over the body in front of her. The blonde wore a midnight blue dress which stopped shortly above her knee and offered a decent amount of cleavage. Not too much to be considered vulgar, but enough for Lexa to have to forcefully pull her glance away.

"Thank you, you do too." Clarke grinned cheekily. "Positively ravishing." She added and watched the brunette blush.

"I tried my best."

"I'm sure you could wear a sack and still look breath-taking." Clarke took her jacket and keys and opened the door once more. Lexa followed her lead and they quickly left the building and walked to a sports car.

"I'm convinced you could too." Lexa murmured and open the passenger door for Clarke.

"Wow, yours?"

"Belonged to my parents, it's part of the CEO equipment here in LA." Lexa shrugged and closed the door, walked around the car and slid into her seat.

"What else do you own here?"

"Nothing. My parents never considered this city for living. I've got a townhouse in Boston."

"You're still living in the hotel?"

"I am, but I don't really mind. It's very comfortable."

"Can I ask you something which might overstep the boundaries of a first date talk?"

"YOU can ask me anything."

Clarke didn't miss the stress on the word 'you' and smiled at that. "Well ok. Do you plan on staying?"

Lexa had thought Clarke would ask her that question exactly. She had expected it. Not so early in their time together, but eventually at some point. "I guess my diplomatic answer would be 'I don't know', but actually…" Lexa glanced over and studied Clarke's face for a second, before returning her eyes back on the road. "I'd much rather answer 'it depends'."

"On what?" Clarke held her breath hopefully.

"On a certain blonde lady and whether she would like me to stick around or not."

"You would be willing to stay in this town on a whim of possibility with me?"

"Whim?"

"Well, you don't know if we fit."

"I know enough to give it a serious chance."

Clarke grinned at that, relief written all over her face. She had worried Lexa would return to Boston soon and they'd have to postpone anything until she came to visit. "So you want to move?" She asked innocently.

"I'll stay at the hotel for now."

"But that's so expensive."

"Are you offering?" Both blushed at Lexa's words.

"I just don't want you to spend too much money on being here." She answered carefully after a moment of consideration.

"Don't worry Clarke. First of all, LA is another headquarters for Grounder Airline. I can easily justify the costs with the board. It's also possible for me to rent a space for the time being. I just don't know where to look."

"I could give you pointers for good locations."

"Sounds great." Lexa looked over, when she had stopped the car. "We're here. I hope you'll like it." She parked and killed the engine.

"I'm with you. I'm sure I will."

"Smooth talker."

"I do my best." Clarke used Lexa's words from earlier and they laughed.

"In all seriousness, I meant it when I said that I like you."

"I can see. Enough to change your home from one side of the country to the other."

"Some things are worth it."

"I agree." Clarke's eyes twinkled. "I heard Boston is nice too." She said when Lexa helped her out of the car. It made the brunette stop in her tracks and look at her in awe.

"You wouldn't survive a winter in Boston."

"Yeah, but someone just said some things are worth the change."

"Let's share a dinner and see how that goes before you plan to move." Lexa smirked. It hadn't occurred to her that Clarke would offer to change location.

"Might be a little early for admitting this, but I'd do almost anything for you." She whispered, wide eyes expressing the surprise of having voiced the words out loud.

"Same." Lexa didn't miss a beat, before she gently kissed her.

* * *

They were seated without hassle and Clarke learned quickly that Lexa liked to dine in finer restaurants. The invitation after the club incident should have been an indicator, but Clarke had forgotten all of that, too focused on the woman herself and how to help her. The tables were arranged in a way it would offer privacy to all guests from other patrons, they had a personal waiter for the night and the menu didn't show any prices.

"You ok?" Lexa asked concerned at the frown Clarke was sporting.

"Yes. She answered way too quickly to be convincing and the pilot leaned over to quietly ask again. "What's wrong?" She whispered.

"There are no prices." Clarke hushed back and pointed to the food choices.

"Don't worry, you're invited."

It wasn't the answer Clarke had wanted to hear. "I didn't mean for you to offer to pay. I just like places where you know up front how much your choice will cost."

"I asked you out, I'm paying." Lexa huffed with a smile showing she wasn't mad, but insistent.

"Why aren't there any prices?" Clarke repeated impatiently. She knew she wouldn't change Lexa's stance on the matter and she didn't want to. There would be other times, when she could take her out at her own expense, but she at least wanted to know how much the dishes cost.

"It's not usual to put them in." The brunette offered with a shrug. "Please, just choose something you like and don't think about it."

Clarke studied her for a moment, debating, but eventually she decided to just let it go. For Lexa. For the night. "Ok." She sighed. "Any suggestions?"

Lexa had watched her the whole time. She had seen the frown and had felt the internal fight and before Clarke offered to try, she had made up her mind. "Come on." Lexa stood up, dropped the napkin and offered her hand to the blonde.

"Lexa, what are you doing?"

"We're leaving."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the dinner. Please sit back down. Please." Clarke pleaded, but Lexa remained standing with a wide smile.

"You haven't ruined anything, but you've reminded me of something I had forgotten."

Clarke still looked at her in sheer puzzlement, but eventually pushed her chair back and stood up quietly. "What do you mean?" She asked once she was at Lexa's side.

"I forgot about my roots."

"I don't understand."

"You'll see."

Lexa quickly exchanged a few words with their waiter and after paying for their drinks, opened the restaurant door and guided Clarke back to the car. "My parents founded the company before I was born. They put every cent they could spare into their dream and lived on canned food and water. When I came along they already had an established brand and money was never an issue. However…" Lexa stopped talking and opened the car door, gesturing for Clarke to get inside. She walked around once more and settled smoothly behind the wheel, before she continued her little anecdote, whilst driving. "Once a week, my father insisted on eating at the local restaurant in the old neighbourhood they've lived in for the first few years. He used to say the food was home-grown and real." Lexa laughed at the memory. "Although I'm pretty sure the ingredients stemmed from the same sources as any other food place, but dad insisted and we went. Let me tell you one thing…" Lexa glanced over at Clarke who hadn't moved an inch since they started the unplanned journey and watched her in awe. "The food was always great."

"That was in Boston though, right?"

"Yes, but my dad found a similar place here and told everyone about it. I found out more or less recently and wanted to go and try it out. I guess you don't mind the shift in scenery?"

"Not at all, as long as you're ok with it."

"More than ok. I should have taken you there to start with. I should have known the other place wouldn't suit you."

"What do you mean?" Clarke was a little taken aback by Lexa's words. Was she not good enough for the high society eateries?

"You're above all the glamour and shine and you see it for it is. Fake. That's why I… that why you're you and I greatly appreciate that about you." Lexa had focused her eyes back to the road, but a sincere smile played at the corner of her mouth.

"I just don't think it's needed. At the end of the day, we dress to cover us, eat to remain alive and shit it out the same way. No need to spend a fortune on things like that." Clarke stated nonchalantly and Lexa laughed.

"Well worded." She said through her laughter. "What would you spend a fortune on?" She asked a moment later.

"If I had money to spend, I'd travel the world." She saw Lexa raise an eyebrow and continued after a heartbeat. "I know, I know. Weird thing to say when I'm a flight attendant, but you know first-hand we don't get to see much of the places we travel to. I'd love to stay and have time to explore things."

"No, I get it." Lexa nodded her head in emphasis. "Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere." Clarke laughed.

"Wow, that's utterly… unprecise." She joined in the amusement.

"First of all, I'd travel Europe. It must be magnificent all those different countries, languages, personalities within such a confined space."

"I agree. I've been to a few countries over there. It is breath-taking."

"More than travelling I actually would love to help." Clarke spoke after a moment of silence. Lexa glanced over and urged her on with a nod. "Money is only paper, but I'd need a load of it to fulfil my dreams. Whereas someone from a third world country doesn't. I could do so much with just a little bit and my time. I usually donate some of my salary, but I always fear the money doesn't end up where I thought it would. If I had more to give, I'd go to places and help teach people to help themselves."

"That's…" Lexa was at a loss for words. She had known by the actions Clarke had taken in the past weeks, that she was a humble person, but she would never have guessed that her heart was so big and her mind so kind. "That's amazing."

"Just my helper syndrome crying out to do more, I guess." Clarke played down the appraisal she could see in Lexa's eyes.

"We should talk about it in more detail." The CEO said in a business voice.

"Ok." The blonde smiled warmly. "But I don't want you to think you have to do anything, just because it's what I would do."

"Not at all." Lexa assured and steered the car into a small parking lot. "I always wanted to support help organisations. If you have a good one, I'm more than happy to investigate it." She killed the engine. "We're here."

They left the car in same manner they had at the previous place, but this time Lexa didn't let go of Clarke's hand. Instead, she intertwined their fingers, marvelling at how right it felt. Little did she know that Clarke felt the same and more. The blonde truly felt heavenly and so at peace it should have scared her, but surprisingly nothing about it scared her. If at all, it calmed her in a way one felt once a difficult situation had been solved and the adrenaline level decreased and serenity took over. She squeezed her hand and smiled at the brunette when she looked over.

"In case I haven't made it obvious…" Clarke said once they were seated at the small table in a secluded corner. "thank you for all of this."

"This?" Lexa asked a little absent, studying the menu.

"Knowing me well enough to take me elsewhere."

"I should have known." Lexa looked up with a warm smile.

Clarke blushed a little at the expression. "I shouldn't have been so discernible."

"No Clarke." Lexa lifted both her arms and placed her hands on the table with their palms up, wiggling her fingers invitingly for Clarke to put hers on top of them. As soon as she felt the touch she enclosed them in her warmth and continued. "I always want you to be honest with me. I never want you to do things you don't want to or feel uncomfortable doing. I don't want to wake up one day and you're gone, because you couldn't handle it anymore."

"What do you mean?" Clarke wanted Lexa to voice her fears as clearly as possible although she had an idea what they could be.

Lexa sighed, before she explained herself. "My life is very demanding. The shareholders of my company want clarity and representation, but above all they want to bathe in the second-hand fame which comes from being rich." Lexa let go of Clarke's hands and wiped over her face expressing her frustration. "I'll be in meetings and handling the press, having to give speeches and interviews and am expected to attend parties, galas or ceremonies." She looked at Clarke, connecting her soul once more with the blue-eyed beauty seeking strength from the pure look of adoration and affection. "As my significant other you'd be expected to come along to such things. Also, due to the nature of my gender and age I'm pretty sure paparazzi won't stop until they get a good picture of you or me or us." She sighed again. "Are you aware of all of that?" She whispered insecurely.

"I was aware of your representational duties." Clarke started. "I assumed I'd accompany you to some events." She smiled. "I agree people will try everything to get a picture of you to either prove you're too young to deal with your business or because you're unbelievably gorgeous." She winked at the blush on Lexa's face. "I hadn't realised the last part would involve me, to be honest." She shrugged. "But I guess I'll deal with it."

"Really?"

"Lexa, this shouldn't surprise you." Clarke took her hand back and caressed the soft skin with her thumb. "I want to be with you."

The brunette nodded. "I guess we deal with it then." She smiled and leaned over, closing the small distance, pressing her lips against Clarke's in an appreciative manner. "Thank you." She murmured against her mouth and kissed her again.

They settled back into a light-hearted conversation whilst enjoying the food, which was as great as Lexa's father had told had said it was. She talked a little about her parents and Clarke offered her own piece of family history. After they had shared a dessert, they paid and left.

"Do you…" Clarke started, but stopped when they reached the car, unsure of her next move.

"Do I what?" Lexa asked and stepped closer, trapping Clarke between her body and the cold metal.

"Do you maybe…" Clarke started once more, but her focus got lost in green orbs, so close and so full of desire.

"Yes." Lexa breathed, before she kissed her again. Desperately and needy and full of want and lust. Clarke didn't have to finish her sentence. They both knew what they wanted and for a short time they communicated with their lips and tongues and hands without using actual words, but the message was loud and clear and when they broke apart to inhale much needed air, Clarke pushed Lexa off her with a look of lust, and towards the driver's side of the car.

"My place." She panted. "Now."

"Ok." Lexa didn't trust her body to formulate coherent thoughts, so she switched on the radio to disturb the deafening, filled silence. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Clarke's left knee bouncing up and down. In a twisted psychology it calmed her seeing how nervous the blonde was. She put her right hand on top of Clarke's thigh and squeezed it reassuringly, before flattening out and stroking it absently. It soothed Clarke and she smiled and stilled her erratic movement, mirroring the gesture by tracing unpredictable patterns on Lexa's upper thigh.

They reached her home without having said another word. Clarke cleared her throat once the door to her apartment had closed behind them, shutting everyone out, focusing only on the two of them. "Do you want a drink?" Her voice was raspy and low and so erotic Lexa shivered and shook her head, slowly approaching the blonde and taking her into her arms.

"We don't have to do anything…" She offered in a quiet voice.

"That wasn't what was going through my head." Clarke answered equally quiet.

"What were you thinking?"

Instead of an answer, Clarke pulled her along, walking backwards through her apartment into the bedroom. Lexa's eyes widened at the interior of the room and she blinked before a beautiful grin took over. "Ah, I take it you're thinking the same as I am then."

"Probably." Clarke rasped and let herself fall down onto the bed, dragging Lexa along with her on top. They stared at each other. When Lexa didn't move, Clarke sighed impatiently and pulled her down onto her to connect their lips once more. The kiss quickly turned heated, tongues explored openly, sloppily, desperately. Hands moved to shed unwanted clothes, disrobing and dropping them left and right, one goal on two minds.

"You're so beautiful." Lexa panted once she had Clarke naked under her. "My god." She breathed out in disbelief.

"You're magnificent Lexa." Clarke answered, letting her hands travel down the length of a bare back, coming to rest on a defined ass. "And so fucking sexy." She managed past her laboured breathing and slightly scratched over Lexa's skin under her hands.

"Not as hot as you." The brunette stated absently, mouth hovering over the warm skin at Clarke's neck.

"You wanna keep talking, or?"

"Or?" Clarke rolled her eyes at the playful return, but cried out a moment later, when Lexa had shifted and started to kiss down her neck, over her collarbones, licked between her breasts and sucked one nipple into her warmth whilst cupping the other with skilled hands. "You were saying?" Lexa teased once more, but didn't stop caressing Clarke with her hands, wandering further down her body. Upon Clarke's undisguised moan Lexa moved along, kissing the stomach and hipbones and getting lost in the softness of her skin. She felt a tug and looked up.

"Come here." Clarke cooed and Lexa moved back up, questioning look in her eyes, but the blonde smiled and kissed her wantonly, not having had enough of their kisses. She loved kissing her, loved the feeling of Lexa. She reversed their position and settled on top of Lexa, not once stopping her ministration with her tongue. She let her hands explore and moaned at the feeling of Lexa's breasts under her fingertips. Her nipples were stiff and Lexa's hips grinded up into Clarke's at her touch. When their wet centres met both moaned loudly and without exchanging words they repeated the motion again and again. Loving glances and longing kisses accompanied their movements, which turned frantic within moments.

"Don't stop." Lexa breathed desperately, holding on to the woman above her, close to losing herself in her touch.

"I wouldn't dare." Clarke panted and rubbed her clit eagerly over Lexa's pushing them both dangerously close to the edge.

"Fuck."

Clarke stared at Lexa who looked at her just as intently, both hyper aware of the other and what they were doing, exchanging, receiving.

"I need you inside me." Clarke finally whispered and to her surprise she felt Lexa's hand around her wrist. The brunette guided their hands between them and without another word they slowly, purposefully slid into each other. Deep moans and grunts replaced any communication, but their thoughts were articulated anyway. It was pleasure, relief, fulfilment, homecoming. It was finally being exactly where each wanted to be. In the present. In the here and now. Not in the past. Not in the future. Only here with the other.

Once they had come down from their high, Lexa made it her mission to worship Clarke in a way she thought should have been her only job. She marvelled at the sight of her falling apart around her fingers, around her tongue, in her mouth. She was addicted to her taste and if Clarke had let her, she would have slept with her face between the blonde's legs. However, she was just as keen to please Lexa and in the dark, silent hours of the night the two licked, sucked and tasted every inch of each other's bodies.

When the birds started their morning concert, the two women laid wrapped in each other's arms, exchanging soft kisses to warm skin.

"You know, although this was absolutely mind-blowing and I can't wait for a repeat…" Lexa whispered with a grin. "I wouldn't change our story."

"You mean you still like seeing me pining and wanting?" Clarke laughed and gently bit down into her lover's soft skin.

"You pining? You rather mean me ogling you in an inappropriate way."

"What?" Clarke sat up to look at Lexa. "You do realise, you already had me at 'would you mind taking your hands off of this woman' and the outfit you wore that day?"

"I wasn't sure…"

"Liar." Clarke winked and stopped herself from closing the gap, eyes trained at Lexa's mouth.

"I fell for you the moment I laid my eyes on you."

"Good to know." The blonde whispered and kissed her. "Good to know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo.. that was it. I've got a few ideas for a sequel for this story, but I'm not sure yet. I've never been a fan of sequels. Besides, I've got two story ideas lined up which I'm going to dig in beginning of the next year. I'll start posting once I've finished writing, because I learned it's much better to post a finished story. It ensures continuity and promises frequent updates.
> 
> If you've got prompts, let me know though on tumblr (jaansche) or here or fanfiction.com.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this story. Let me know.
> 
> For everyone reading 'Driving home for Christmas' make sure to stay alerted. There might be something popping up in your inbox on New Years Eve. To all the others, have a great change of years, happy 2017 and I hope you'll come back to my new stories (March/April). Cheers and thanks to everyone for your interest and feedback. J

**Author's Note:**

> So, this story will be a few chapters long. No idea how long as I haven't written it yet. To make things more complicated, I'm writing two stories at the same time. Depending which one gets more hits or likes or reviews or or or, I'll update first. So let me know which one you like more. Either here or on tumblr (Jaansche).
> 
> 02/17: I was made aware of an unauthorised upload of my story 'Let your dreams set sail' by thebestlesbianships.tumblr.com on tumblr. If you find other stories of mine uploaded elsewhere then on AO3 or fanfiction.net please let me know. If you like my story/stories I'm grateful for a repost of the original URL/link of either aforementioned webside, but DO NOT repost my chapters. Thanks Jaansche


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